How to structure finances for end of life decisions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consult with an attorney. You will want to put your assets in a trust and will need to do it prior to the look back period. Filial responsibility laws may also apply depending on where you live.

What others have said is true about Medicaid homes- they truly are the worst of the worst, and to even get a Medicaid bed you often need to start as private pay. The whole system is designed to wipe you out and leave nothing left.

So serious question, bc this is all very disconcerting and scary: What the Fu--- do normal people do when they need skilled end of life care???

I have a parent in a Medicaid bed who started out private pay.

What happens is your family scrambles to deal with things and take care you and find you a place and it's awful. The best gift you can give your children is not your money but a reasonable attitude and approach about end of life stages. Plan for it now. Sure plan financially. But more importantly, move into a reasonable place where you can live independently and ideally transition to higher levels of care when you might need it, get rid of your stuff so it's not their problem, and plan financially so you have somewhere to go which probably means keeping some money yourself so you are not their problem. And then don't be a giant pain in the ass, to be blunt.

There are not just magical Medicaid beds you move into when the time comes. And guess what your kids also probably are not going to feel great about putting you in one of them! And your future self might not be so agreeable down the road when reality sets in.

Honestly, these “independent living” places are a total scam. The nursing beds they offer are as horrible as anything else out there and the nursing staff are very limited in what they will do outside that context. You’re probably better off putting your loved one in an affordable condo and paying for care assistance when the time comes.

Not eveyoej can afford $200,000 plus a year.

[Anonymous]

I purchased whole life insurance early in my career. Recently bought some more for this exact reason. First policy will be paid up in a few years. Second policy can stop payments at any time and get return of principal. Can also reduce the face value later if payments no longer fit the budget. It’s not a lot but there will be something for our children even if we spend down all of our assets. Will figure out later if second policy is a good way to spend our money but for now it gives me peace of mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking how you can get taxpayers to pay for your end of life care rather than you.

+1. Why shouldn't your resources be used to pay for your end of life care? Would you expect taxpayers to provide a gift of $100K to your children when you die because that's basically what you're asking for when you ask everyone else to pay your bills when you have the means to do so.

I'm not asking for these types of opinions. Sorry, I'm not. We are not rich, as I stated. So we wont be in some fancy end of life facility. So what we do have, I want to go to my family. You don't have to agree or like it. But I'm not really interested in that. I've worked since I've been 14 years old. I've paid into all of the systems and so don't feel bad asking for the taxpayers for anything.

Growing old in this country is a lonely and expensive affair.

That’s not how it works.

It sure does for a lot of people. You think people don't hide or manipulate their finances to get end of life benefits? LOL.

Of course they do. The point is that there isn't some magical answer that will let OP maintain complete control of all their spending and assets while making them eligible for Medicaid until they die and then all the assets transfer to their kids. That is not illegal, anyway.

Is it legal to just spend all your money on dumb stuff, instead of saving it for your own care?

What if I earn a very good salary, but just don't save for my future? Instead I spend it all on expensive trips, fine dining, clothing, and lavish parties? Year after year. I just spend spend spend. Gifts to everyone!

Then I have no more money. Nothing saved. I qualify for Medicaid.

Is that OK? (I know it is legal.)

[Anonymous]

In a family where you can trust the kids to take care of you in old age, transfer everything to kids and live with one of them well before you need Medicaid. Use SS payments to pay rent to kid as continued way to transfer income. Kid pays for everything — food, housing, trips, whatever. You get benefit of Medicaid. I know a family that did this. The elderly parent didn’t live in nursing home but got a ton of benefits — aides that came to the house to help with bathing, food prep, cleaning the space where parent lived; food stamp allowance; good hospital coverage when there were in patient stays; respite care for kid who was primary caregiver; etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking how you can get taxpayers to pay for your end of life care rather than you.

+1. Why shouldn't your resources be used to pay for your end of life care? Would you expect taxpayers to provide a gift of $100K to your children when you die because that's basically what you're asking for when you ask everyone else to pay your bills when you have the means to do so.

Because what tends to happen is that you will deplete all your money for elder care, run out of money and then end up in a medicaid facility anyways so why not protect what you have, make sure your kids get it and start with medicaid. Sure, it costs the 'public' which eventually results in increased taxes. Let's structure those tax increases such that they come out of rich people's income vs. the rest of the 'public'.

Usually people who have assets to leave to adult children also can afford some elder care. There are a range of choices; it’s not just the extremes of a Medicaid facility v expensive senior living. You can have an in-home aid, which many people do. You can live with your adult children which is also very common. You can stay at a room & board facility for end of life care, and if we’re talking about hospice that is typically just a few months or less. My own parent was in hospice less than a week, and lived independently until then.

If you have dementia or need long term-facility care then, yes, you will of course need to pay for it — unless your children care for you. Like others said, gift money/assets to your children now, if your goal is Medicaid (awful awful facilities by the way).

You can’t count on independent living till a week in hospice. Round the clock care -at relatively low wages- in the home will run over $100,000/year. In-home costs will also have to cover housing and food and basic bills, too. Not just care support.

If you are lucky and can totally trust your kids to manage your money, go ahead and start handing it over. But there are so many bad stories in this scenario.

Purchasing long term care insurance is not the bargain it once was, however, if you negotiate a lump payment up front, in a reliable company -do your research- you have theoretical security that the support should be there as needed.

Some even will give a remainder to your heirs. But most of these plans will not serve you well, so be careful.

I’m not rich enough to know about the range of preserving your money options.


Good luck to all struggling with balancing now and life post-dementia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking how you can get taxpayers to pay for your end of life care rather than you.

+1. Why shouldn't your resources be used to pay for your end of life care? Would you expect taxpayers to provide a gift of $100K to your children when you die because that's basically what you're asking for when you ask everyone else to pay your bills when you have the means to do so.

I'm not asking for these types of opinions. Sorry, I'm not. We are not rich, as I stated. So we wont be in some fancy end of life facility. So what we do have, I want to go to my family. You don't have to agree or like it. But I'm not really interested in that. I've worked since I've been 14 years old. I've paid into all of the systems and so don't feel bad asking for the taxpayers for anything.

Growing old in this country is a lonely and expensive affair.

That’s not how it works.

It sure does for a lot of people. You think people don't hide or manipulate their finances to get end of life benefits? LOL.

Of course they do. The point is that there isn't some magical answer that will let OP maintain complete control of all their spending and assets while making them eligible for Medicaid until they die and then all the assets transfer to their kids. That is not illegal, anyway.

Is it legal to just spend all your money on dumb stuff, instead of saving it for your own care?

What if I earn a very good salary, but just don't save for my future? Instead I spend it all on expensive trips, fine dining, clothing, and lavish parties? Year after year. I just spend spend spend. Gifts to everyone!

Then I have no more money. Nothing saved. I qualify for Medicaid.

Is that OK? (I know it is legal.)

So you will get to spend your final days, weeks, years in a Medicaid facility. Not something most people would be looking forward to. I'd prefer to save and plan so I can spend my time in a high quality facility with excellent care, not some low level facility where pay is low and care is low quality (most medicaid facilities fall into that category)

But you do you