How to structure finances for end of life decisions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking how you can get taxpayers to pay for your end of life care rather than you.

+1. Why shouldn't your resources be used to pay for your end of life care? Would you expect taxpayers to provide a gift of $100K to your children when you die because that's basically what you're asking for when you ask everyone else to pay your bills when you have the means to do so.

I'm not asking for these types of opinions. Sorry, I'm not. We are not rich, as I stated. So we wont be in some fancy end of life facility. So what we do have, I want to go to my family. You don't have to agree or like it. But I'm not really interested in that. I've worked since I've been 14 years old. I've paid into all of the systems and so don't feel bad asking for the taxpayers for anything.

Growing old in this country is a lonely and expensive affair.

Beginning a sentence with "so" doesn't magically create a logical connection.

Either you have enough money to pay for your own end-of-life care, in which case do it, and maybe there'll be some left for your children OR you are going to die broke, and there will be no money for your children, who are not entitled to an inheritance. No decent kid wants their parents to reduce their own quality of life just so there's something to inherit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking how you can get taxpayers to pay for your end of life care rather than you.

+1. Why shouldn't your resources be used to pay for your end of life care? Would you expect taxpayers to provide a gift of $100K to your children when you die because that's basically what you're asking for when you ask everyone else to pay your bills when you have the means to do so.

I'm not asking for these types of opinions. Sorry, I'm not. We are not rich, as I stated. So we wont be in some fancy end of life facility. So what we do have, I want to go to my family. You don't have to agree or like it. But I'm not really interested in that. I've worked since I've been 14 years old. I've paid into all of the systems and so don't feel bad asking for the taxpayers for anything.

Growing old in this country is a lonely and expensive affair.

Beginning a sentence with "so" doesn't magically create a logical connection.

Either you have enough money to pay for your own end-of-life care, in which case do it, and maybe there'll be some left for your children OR you are going to die broke, and there will be no money for your children, who are not entitled to an inheritance. No decent kid wants their parents to reduce their own quality of life just so there's something to inherit.

I say this so you'll understand . . . I don't give a sh-- what you think we have enough for or what my kids should/shouldn't want, or what they're entitled to. Or what you think is a logical connection.

People do this all the time, structure assets to benefit family. That's what I'm asking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking how you can get taxpayers to pay for your end of life care rather than you.

+1. Why shouldn't your resources be used to pay for your end of life care? Would you expect taxpayers to provide a gift of $100K to your children when you die because that's basically what you're asking for when you ask everyone else to pay your bills when you have the means to do so.

I'm not asking for these types of opinions. Sorry, I'm not. We are not rich, as I stated. So we wont be in some fancy end of life facility. So what we do have, I want to go to my family. You don't have to agree or like it. But I'm not really interested in that. I've worked since I've been 14 years old. I've paid into all of the systems and so don't feel bad asking for the taxpayers for anything.

Growing old in this country is a lonely and expensive affair.

That’s not how it works.

It sure does for a lot of people. You think people don't hide or manipulate their finances to get end of life benefits? LOL.

[Anonymous]

I know nothing about this topic, but I would think putting assets in a irrevocable trust and/or just gifting a lot of it to your kids now (with the understanding that they will help you with the money when you need it) would be the way to go. But you would have to get past any "look back" period in terms of qualifying for Medicaid. This is definitely an attorney situation, but you can probably find a lot online.

[Anonymous]

Just went through this with a parent. First, go see an Attorney now *well before you need to*. I recommend May-lis Manley in Rockville if you're in MoCo. She's great. A couple of watch-outs: Gifting to kids / grandkids will count against Medicaid eligibility. I believe there's a seven year look-back period from last payment--so don't do it if you think you'll need Medicaid. Secondly, it's really important to get assets out of joint ownership and into a trust. Finally, a great way to deal with Real Estate is to keep ownership with the person but add survivors to a remaindermen deed. This means that the property cannot be sold while the person is alive but the deed transfers to survivors with a higher tax basis. But *go see a lawyer who specializes in Medicaid.*

[Anonymous]

DH and I plan to off ourselves at the end of our independent lives. This may not be popular and who knows if we can execute on it but that’s the plan for now. We’re in the middle of caring for many older parents/grandparents and feel clear eyed about not wanting the same end of life.

[Anonymous]

Consult with an attorney. You will want to put your assets in a trust and will need to do it prior to the look back period. Filial responsibility laws may also apply depending on where you live.

What others have said is true about Medicaid homes- they truly are the worst of the worst, and to even get a Medicaid bed you often need to start as private pay. The whole system is designed to wipe you out and leave nothing left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consult with an attorney. You will want to put your assets in a trust and will need to do it prior to the look back period. Filial responsibility laws may also apply depending on where you live.

What others have said is true about Medicaid homes- they truly are the worst of the worst, and to even get a Medicaid bed you often need to start as private pay. The whole system is designed to wipe you out and leave nothing left.

So serious question, bc this is all very disconcerting and scary: What the Fu--- do normal people do when they need skilled end of life care???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consult with an attorney. You will want to put your assets in a trust and will need to do it prior to the look back period. Filial responsibility laws may also apply depending on where you live.

What others have said is true about Medicaid homes- they truly are the worst of the worst, and to even get a Medicaid bed you often need to start as private pay. The whole system is designed to wipe you out and leave nothing left.

So serious question, bc this is all very disconcerting and scary: What the Fu--- do normal people do when they need skilled end of life care???

I have a parent in a Medicaid bed who started out private pay.

What happens is your family scrambles to deal with things and take care you and find you a place and it's awful. The best gift you can give your children is not your money but a reasonable attitude and approach about end of life stages. Plan for it now. Sure plan financially. But more importantly, move into a reasonable place where you can live independently and ideally transition to higher levels of care when you might need it, get rid of your stuff so it's not their problem, and plan financially so you have somewhere to go which probably means keeping some money yourself so you are not their problem. And then don't be a giant pain in the ass, to be blunt.

There are not just magical Medicaid beds you move into when the time comes. And guess what your kids also probably are not going to feel great about putting you in one of them! And your future self might not be so agreeable down the road when reality sets in.

[Anonymous]

Would you want to have raised the type of children that drop you off at the Medicaid home while they keep the money you funneled to them? That is a serious question. Who would even think of doing that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consult with an attorney. You will want to put your assets in a trust and will need to do it prior to the look back period. Filial responsibility laws may also apply depending on where you live.

What others have said is true about Medicaid homes- they truly are the worst of the worst, and to even get a Medicaid bed you often need to start as private pay. The whole system is designed to wipe you out and leave nothing left.

So serious question, bc this is all very disconcerting and scary: What the Fu--- do normal people do when they need skilled end of life care???

america assumes that there is someone in the family whose economic output is discounted enough to do all of the physical caretaking themselves. Aka, a daughter or daughter-in-law will take care of the parents. Medicare will cover weekly hospice visits and some supplies. Folks that are bedbound eventually die from bedsores/sepsis or pneumonia because eventually the skin breaks down or they can't recover from a lung infection.

sandwich generation math: daycare is $3000/month. private pay memory care is $8500/month. A bed in a medicaid "skilled nursing facility" runs $13,000 a month. Medicare is supposed to cover 100 days but they deny it immediately. The facility will just let the bill accrue while going through the medicaid waiver process, which will take about as long as it takes $13,000/mo to get through any equity might exist in the family home.

[Anonymous]

Estate attorney
Trusts
Do early to avoi 5 year look back

[Anonymous]

For our family member, I believe it worked out that she spent down her assets paying for the nursing home, and then when the money ran out, the nursing home helped with the paperwork to get Medicaid to pay for essentially the same bed. My impression was that if she had already run down all of her money, there might not have been a spot for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I plan to off ourselves at the end of our independent lives. This may not be popular and who knows if we can execute on it but that’s the plan for now. We’re in the middle of caring for many older parents/grandparents and feel clear eyed about not wanting the same end of life.

Me too pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking how you can get taxpayers to pay for your end of life care rather than you.

+1. Why shouldn't your resources be used to pay for your end of life care? Would you expect taxpayers to provide a gift of $100K to your children when you die because that's basically what you're asking for when you ask everyone else to pay your bills when you have the means to do so.

I'm not asking for these types of opinions. Sorry, I'm not. We are not rich, as I stated. So we wont be in some fancy end of life facility. So what we do have, I want to go to my family. You don't have to agree or like it. But I'm not really interested in that. I've worked since I've been 14 years old. I've paid into all of the systems and so don't feel bad asking for the taxpayers for anything.

Growing old in this country is a lonely and expensive affair.

Beginning a sentence with "so" doesn't magically create a logical connection.

Either you have enough money to pay for your own end-of-life care, in which case do it, and maybe there'll be some left for your children OR you are going to die broke, and there will be no money for your children, who are not entitled to an inheritance. No decent kid wants their parents to reduce their own quality of life just so there's something to inherit.

I say this so you'll understand . . . I don't give a sh-- what you think we have enough for or what my kids should/shouldn't want, or what they're entitled to. Or what you think is a logical connection.

People do this all the time, structure assets to benefit family. That's what I'm asking about.

OK, but I'm not going to tell you some easy ways to do it. Because it's fundamentally wrong, and because you're an ass.