How to structure finances for end of life decisions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking how you can get taxpayers to pay for your end of life care rather than you.

+1. Why shouldn't your resources be used to pay for your end of life care? Would you expect taxpayers to provide a gift of $100K to your children when you die because that's basically what you're asking for when you ask everyone else to pay your bills when you have the means to do so.

I'm not asking for these types of opinions. Sorry, I'm not. We are not rich, as I stated. So we wont be in some fancy end of life facility. So what we do have, I want to go to my family. You don't have to agree or like it. But I'm not really interested in that. I've worked since I've been 14 years old. I've paid into all of the systems and so don't feel bad asking for the taxpayers for anything.

Growing old in this country is a lonely and expensive affair.

Beginning a sentence with "so" doesn't magically create a logical connection.

Either you have enough money to pay for your own end-of-life care, in which case do it, and maybe there'll be some left for your children OR you are going to die broke, and there will be no money for your children, who are not entitled to an inheritance. No decent kid wants their parents to reduce their own quality of life just so there's something to inherit.

I say this so you'll understand . . . I don't give a sh-- what you think we have enough for or what my kids should/shouldn't want, or what they're entitled to. Or what you think is a logical connection.

People do this all the time, structure assets to benefit family. That's what I'm asking about.

People do this more to avoid paying taxes, which benefits family. Not to sign themselves up for a Medicaid place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I plan to off ourselves at the end of our independent lives. This may not be popular and who knows if we can execute on it but that’s the plan for now. We’re in the middle of caring for many older parents/grandparents and feel clear eyed about not wanting the same end of life.

My parents said things like this and then had no plan. Do not do this to your children. I spent some time talking to my therapist about this. Why there isn't a better process for just offing ourselves or our family members. We are kinder to our pets. The human condition is such that we get to the end and we resist with every fiber of our being. It's a small few who will define some critical end point, see the end point, and then take action to not end up in the end of life quagmire. What you are saying is just a way of punting the issue. Or if that's your actual plan, start looking into it now. Find the state were it's allowed, draw up the legal documents, find a place, make a deposit, share your intentions with others and be specific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking how you can get taxpayers to pay for your end of life care rather than you.

+1. Why shouldn't your resources be used to pay for your end of life care? Would you expect taxpayers to provide a gift of $100K to your children when you die because that's basically what you're asking for when you ask everyone else to pay your bills when you have the means to do so.

I'm not asking for these types of opinions. Sorry, I'm not. We are not rich, as I stated. So we wont be in some fancy end of life facility. So what we do have, I want to go to my family. You don't have to agree or like it. But I'm not really interested in that. I've worked since I've been 14 years old. I've paid into all of the systems and so don't feel bad asking for the taxpayers for anything.

Growing old in this country is a lonely and expensive affair.

Beginning a sentence with "so" doesn't magically create a logical connection.

Either you have enough money to pay for your own end-of-life care, in which case do it, and maybe there'll be some left for your children OR you are going to die broke, and there will be no money for your children, who are not entitled to an inheritance. No decent kid wants their parents to reduce their own quality of life just so there's something to inherit.

I say this so you'll understand . . . I don't give a sh-- what you think we have enough for or what my kids should/shouldn't want, or what they're entitled to. Or what you think is a logical connection.

People do this all the time, structure assets to benefit family. That's what I'm asking about.

People do this more to avoid paying taxes, which benefits family. Not to sign themselves up for a Medicaid place.

Exactly 🤣 But OP sounds a little psychotic so let’s not discourage her. A Medicaid bed will be her comeuppance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking how you can get taxpayers to pay for your end of life care rather than you.

+1. Why shouldn't your resources be used to pay for your end of life care? Would you expect taxpayers to provide a gift of $100K to your children when you die because that's basically what you're asking for when you ask everyone else to pay your bills when you have the means to do so.

I'm not asking for these types of opinions. Sorry, I'm not. We are not rich, as I stated. So we wont be in some fancy end of life facility. So what we do have, I want to go to my family. You don't have to agree or like it. But I'm not really interested in that. I've worked since I've been 14 years old. I've paid into all of the systems and so don't feel bad asking for the taxpayers for anything.

Growing old in this country is a lonely and expensive affair.

Beginning a sentence with "so" doesn't magically create a logical connection.

Either you have enough money to pay for your own end-of-life care, in which case do it, and maybe there'll be some left for your children OR you are going to die broke, and there will be no money for your children, who are not entitled to an inheritance. No decent kid wants their parents to reduce their own quality of life just so there's something to inherit.

I say this so you'll understand . . . I don't give a sh-- what you think we have enough for or what my kids should/shouldn't want, or what they're entitled to. Or what you think is a logical connection.

People do this all the time, structure assets to benefit family. That's what I'm asking about.

DP: You don't really get to control much how people react to your question on an open-ended anonymous forum. Maybe consult a professional if you're that touchy?

[Anonymous]

Why would you give away all of your money to go on welfare? This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Have you been to a low income nursing home? I assure you, it's not a place you want to live if you are worried about estate planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking how you can get taxpayers to pay for your end of life care rather than you.

+1. Why shouldn't your resources be used to pay for your end of life care? Would you expect taxpayers to provide a gift of $100K to your children when you die because that's basically what you're asking for when you ask everyone else to pay your bills when you have the means to do so.

I'm not asking for these types of opinions. Sorry, I'm not. We are not rich, as I stated. So we wont be in some fancy end of life facility. So what we do have, I want to go to my family. You don't have to agree or like it. But I'm not really interested in that. I've worked since I've been 14 years old. I've paid into all of the systems and so don't feel bad asking for the taxpayers for anything.

Growing old in this country is a lonely and expensive affair.

Beginning a sentence with "so" doesn't magically create a logical connection.

Either you have enough money to pay for your own end-of-life care, in which case do it, and maybe there'll be some left for your children OR you are going to die broke, and there will be no money for your children, who are not entitled to an inheritance. No decent kid wants their parents to reduce their own quality of life just so there's something to inherit.

I say this so you'll understand . . . I don't give a sh-- what you think we have enough for or what my kids should/shouldn't want, or what they're entitled to. Or what you think is a logical connection.

People do this all the time, structure assets to benefit family. That's what I'm asking about.

Give it all to them now. Hope they love you enough to take care of you when you need it. Nothing in guaranteed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consult with an attorney. You will want to put your assets in a trust and will need to do it prior to the look back period. Filial responsibility laws may also apply depending on where you live.

What others have said is true about Medicaid homes- they truly are the worst of the worst, and to even get a Medicaid bed you often need to start as private pay. The whole system is designed to wipe you out and leave nothing left.

So serious question, bc this is all very disconcerting and scary: What the Fu--- do normal people do when they need skilled end of life care???

PAY FOR IT if they can afford it, or their family pays for it, or (in most cases) they get very minimal care and live a horrid life until they die in their own filth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consult with an attorney. You will want to put your assets in a trust and will need to do it prior to the look back period. Filial responsibility laws may also apply depending on where you live.

What others have said is true about Medicaid homes- they truly are the worst of the worst, and to even get a Medicaid bed you often need to start as private pay. The whole system is designed to wipe you out and leave nothing left.

So serious question, bc this is all very disconcerting and scary: What the Fu--- do normal people do when they need skilled end of life care???

PAY FOR IT if they can afford it, or their family pays for it, or (in most cases) they get very minimal care and live a horrid life until they die in their own filth.

Yup. Facts.

[Anonymous]

Bullet to the head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking how you can get taxpayers to pay for your end of life care rather than you.

+1. Why shouldn't your resources be used to pay for your end of life care? Would you expect taxpayers to provide a gift of $100K to your children when you die because that's basically what you're asking for when you ask everyone else to pay your bills when you have the means to do so.

I'm not asking for these types of opinions. Sorry, I'm not. We are not rich, as I stated. So we wont be in some fancy end of life facility. So what we do have, I want to go to my family. You don't have to agree or like it. But I'm not really interested in that. I've worked since I've been 14 years old. I've paid into all of the systems and so don't feel bad asking for the taxpayers for anything.

Growing old in this country is a lonely and expensive affair.

Beginning a sentence with "so" doesn't magically create a logical connection.

Either you have enough money to pay for your own end-of-life care, in which case do it, and maybe there'll be some left for your children OR you are going to die broke, and there will be no money for your children, who are not entitled to an inheritance. No decent kid wants their parents to reduce their own quality of life just so there's something to inherit.

I say this so you'll understand . . . I don't give a sh-- what you think we have enough for or what my kids should/shouldn't want, or what they're entitled to. Or what you think is a logical connection.

People do this all the time, structure assets to benefit family. That's what I'm asking about.

People do this more to avoid paying taxes, which benefits family. Not to sign themselves up for a Medicaid place.

Exactly 🤣 But OP sounds a little psychotic so let’s not discourage her. A Medicaid bed will be her comeuppance.

Why are you such an awful person? Because when you say sh-- like this, it shows you for the Effing awful, black-hearted person you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking how you can get taxpayers to pay for your end of life care rather than you.

+1. Why shouldn't your resources be used to pay for your end of life care? Would you expect taxpayers to provide a gift of $100K to your children when you die because that's basically what you're asking for when you ask everyone else to pay your bills when you have the means to do so.

I'm not asking for these types of opinions. Sorry, I'm not. We are not rich, as I stated. So we wont be in some fancy end of life facility. So what we do have, I want to go to my family. You don't have to agree or like it. But I'm not really interested in that. I've worked since I've been 14 years old. I've paid into all of the systems and so don't feel bad asking for the taxpayers for anything.

Growing old in this country is a lonely and expensive affair.

Beginning a sentence with "so" doesn't magically create a logical connection.

Either you have enough money to pay for your own end-of-life care, in which case do it, and maybe there'll be some left for your children OR you are going to die broke, and there will be no money for your children, who are not entitled to an inheritance. No decent kid wants their parents to reduce their own quality of life just so there's something to inherit.

I say this so you'll understand . . . I don't give a sh-- what you think we have enough for or what my kids should/shouldn't want, or what they're entitled to. Or what you think is a logical connection.

People do this all the time, structure assets to benefit family. That's what I'm asking about.

DP: You don't really get to control much how people react to your question on an open-ended anonymous forum. Maybe consult a professional if you're that touchy?

Adorable. Gaslighting is what you resort to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you give away all of your money to go on welfare? This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Have you been to a low income nursing home? I assure you, it's not a place you want to live if you are worried about estate planning.

Yes, in fact I have.

[Anonymous]

So to answer your original question - consult an attorney with expertise in elder law and asset protection. I'm sure a little Googling and you'll get some names.

[Anonymous]

The best thing you can do is to help your kids while they’re young. Pay for college, maybe help with a downpayment. Plenty of people on this board can attest that they make no assumptions about getting any inheritance, and neither should your kids. But if you gave them a leg up early on, then their lives can be largely unimpacted by whether or not they get any money when you die

[Anonymous]

Give it to your children while you are alive. When they have young kids in day care or are buying a house - helpnwith the down payment. Do the trust when a spouse needs long-term care and support and the other spouse does not. You don't want it all taken up by one spouse and then the spouse is doing well has to live on nothing