Anonymous wrote:Honestly, you are too emotionally invested here. I’m not judging as I personally did the same thing, and imposed my adult standards and own childhood school trauma onto my kid. I ended up upset long after my daughter was over it and often back friends with these kids again.
Middle schoolers are almost always jerks to someone and most kids grow and evolve once they get into high school. A girl that’s mean in 8th grade isn’t always a “mean girl” and this labeling and trying to designate some kids as horrible and some as victims really isn’t reality most of the time.
The fact that your daughter thinks they can be friends again is actually quite mature. She just needs help understanding how to implement boundaries and not accepting repeat behavior. People who just cut people off forever never learn to work through issues - not all issues are worth working through, but what you describe just sounds like typical immature behavior most kids can grow from.
This exactly! Teen brains develop more rapidly than at any other period other than toddlers. A 14 yr old can be quite dramatically different at 17. Boundaries and natural consequences to bad behavior are appropriate. Labeling someone based on their worst 8th grade behavior is counter-productive. My DD is now in college, and I will tell you that one of the mean girls from MS is now in and out of mental hospitals and her family life is a tragic train wreck. If I had it to do over, I would have more empathy for her, but still encourage my DD to set boundaries with her.
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