Girlfriend wants to quit her job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, with these sorts of issues it is almost certain that she will never be a fully contributing partner. If she goes to the gym and is active, but can't work or go to school due to pain, that doesn't add up. The pain gets in her way when she doesn't WANT to do something.

The fact is, you know the answer. Either you accept a non-working, non-participating partner, or move on. This isn't going to get better. In fact, it will only get worse.

OP here. I’m not downplaying her issues. I know chronic pain sucks. She often comes home with an achy neck and back. Her hands sometimes cramp up and it’s painful. She told me the pain is not excruciating, but more like body aches when you get sick.

I deal with knee pain from a running injury. Not as often but often enough. I still work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah a juice fast isn't going to fix her issues.

She needs to come up with an actual plan for life.

School sounds like a waste of time. She's already a PT.

What is she going to school for?


She needs to figure out a viable plan for life and a career that is not as physically straining but also doesn't require you to do all the work.

OP here. She thinks a juice fast will help with detox and inflammation. She sees it as a way to “reset” her body.

She is going to get some certificates to work remotely. I think her working remotely is best for her that way she can relax more. She doesn’t need it but says the extra skills will help her.

To be quite honest , this all sounds like BS, but it seems you're ultimately okay with it, so adjust your finances accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is hoping for free ride w you and counting on your attachment to her to achieve her goal. I’d dump her.

OMG red flags and I’ll say it, narc or borderline.

You get gone yesterday!

[Anonymous]

I wish I could find a man I could fool like this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah a juice fast isn't going to fix her issues.

She needs to come up with an actual plan for life.

School sounds like a waste of time. She's already a PT.

What is she going to school for?


She needs to figure out a viable plan for life and a career that is not as physically straining but also doesn't require you to do all the work.

OP here. She thinks a juice fast will help with detox and inflammation. She sees it as a way to “reset” her body.

She is going to get some certificates to work remotely. I think her working remotely is best for her that way she can relax more. She doesn’t need it but says the extra skills will help her.

To be quite honest , this all sounds like BS, but it seems you're ultimately okay with it, so adjust your finances accordingly.

OP here. It’s not BS. She wants to work Telehealth go make things much easier for herself. I was all for that until she decided she didn’t want to do any of it.

Now she wants to take some time and do a juice fast. She said she will start working again over the summer or the fall. Her goal is to be working from home by September.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could find a man I could fool like this!

OP here. How is she fooling me? I said no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, with these sorts of issues it is almost certain that she will never be a fully contributing partner. If she goes to the gym and is active, but can't work or go to school due to pain, that doesn't add up. The pain gets in her way when she doesn't WANT to do something.

The fact is, you know the answer. Either you accept a non-working, non-participating partner, or move on. This isn't going to get better. In fact, it will only get worse.

OP here. I’m not downplaying her issues. I know chronic pain sucks. She often comes home with an achy neck and back. Her hands sometimes cramp up and it’s painful. She told me the pain is not excruciating, but more like body aches when you get sick.

I deal with knee pain from a running injury. Not as often but often enough. I still work.

See, this. As I said, you know the answer. She is not going back to work, and she isn't because she doesn't want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could find a man I could fool like this!

OP here. How is she fooling me? I said no.

I'm not the PP, but I would guess PP is assuming you are hoping to figure out a way that this doesn't end with her not working. You are fooling yourself if you think she is ever going to work again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does she plan to do all day?

OP here. She said she needs to just relax and rest. Focus on her body and getting that in order. She wants to do a 60-90 day juice fast to see if that can help her.

Run away, run away, run away and save your life

Hope you guys aren’t considered common law spouses already…

Wear a condom every time

OP here. No common law in my state.

We don’t plan on having kids. I’m already snipped and she has fertility issues. Neither of us want kids.

What kind of guy gets snipped on his own?

Most men only do this after finishing having kids. You are not even married and got snipped on your own?? I don’t buy it.

OP here. I knew I never wanted kids. It’s a way to make sure I didn’t accidentally have any. I got mine done at 32. I tried to get it done sooner but doctor advised me to wait.
You would’ve surprised how many men get one early on in life.

Do you think men need permission or somehow need to be married to get a vasectomy? I’m confused by your logic.

I’m married with 3 kids and in my forties. In our circles, men get them after they are done having kids.

The men I know don’t like the idea of being snipped but my sample is small. Dh is a surgeon, definitely does not want more kids and has not been in a rush to get snipped. We have talked about the topic with friends (all dads) and they cringe and the thought of it.

Like I said, my sample is small, maybe 20 men all over 40.

[Anonymous]

She wants to do telehealth PT? Why does she need to go back to school for that if she is already a physical therapist?

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a test for marriage and it seems both sides have failed. OP obviously doesn’t want to have a housewife who doesn’t work. The girlfriend has showed she doesn’t want to work and OP has failed that test.

[Anonymous]

Yeah she needs a part time job at least maybe she can go work at a juice shop 😂 sorry everyone has to carry their own weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does she plan to do all day?

OP here. She said she needs to just relax and rest. Focus on her body and getting that in order. She wants to do a 60-90 day juice fast to see if that can help her.

Run away, run away, run away and save your life

Hope you guys aren’t considered common law spouses already…

Wear a condom every time

OP here. No common law in my state.

We don’t plan on having kids. I’m already snipped and she has fertility issues. Neither of us want kids.

What kind of guy gets snipped on his own?

Most men only do this after finishing having kids. You are not even married and got snipped on your own?? I don’t buy it.

OP here. I knew I never wanted kids. It’s a way to make sure I didn’t accidentally have any. I got mine done at 32. I tried to get it done sooner but doctor advised me to wait.
You would’ve surprised how many men get one early on in life.

Do you think men need permission or somehow need to be married to get a vasectomy? I’m confused by your logic.

I’m married with 3 kids and in my forties. In our circles, men get them after they are done having kids.

The men I know don’t like the idea of being snipped but my sample is small. Dh is a surgeon, definitely does not want more kids and has not been in a rush to get snipped. We have talked about the topic with friends (all dads) and they cringe and the thought of it.

Like I said, my sample is small, maybe 20 men all over 40.

Yes, but the men you know all wanted and had kids. OP does not want children. Hence getting snipped before having any children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wants to do telehealth PT? Why does she need to go back to school for that if she is already a physical therapist?

I don’t understand why she needs to go back to school for this.

I know nurses who work from home. Doctors can work from home.

DH is a surgeon and he has a weekly virtual clinic. I never thought my Dh could work from home. That was the one benefit from COVID. Hospital pivoted to virtual doc appointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah a juice fast isn't going to fix her issues.

She needs to come up with an actual plan for life.

School sounds like a waste of time. She's already a PT.

What is she going to school for?


She needs to figure out a viable plan for life and a career that is not as physically straining but also doesn't require you to do all the work.

OP here. She thinks a juice fast will help with detox and inflammation. She sees it as a way to “reset” her body.

She is going to get some certificates to work remotely. I think her working remotely is best for her that way she can relax more. She doesn’t need it but says the extra skills will help her.

To be quite honest , this all sounds like BS, but it seems you're ultimately okay with it, so adjust your finances accordingly.

OP here. It’s not BS. She wants to work Telehealth go make things much easier for herself. I was all for that until she decided she didn’t want to do any of it.

Now she wants to take some time and do a juice fast. She said she will start working again over the summer or the fall. Her goal is to be working from home by September.

Op. You did not get enough facts in your original post. She has a plan to go back to work after taking some time off due to chronic injuries. And it sounds like she is going to be trying to get a telehealth certificate in the mean time, or in September, I’m not sure which.

Her plan is fine. I think if you want, have a convo about how you are fine with her not working for a few months, but long term, you want to be married to someone who has a career and brings in a minimum of X amount of income. That you don’t want to support her long term while she doesn’t work

If she isn’t ok with that you guys aren’t right for each other,