Girlfriend wants to quit her job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was the best outcome for you, OP. She was never planning to go back to work and the fact that she volunteered to move out makes things easier for you.

OR he lost love of his life because forum made him skeptical and suspicious of a standard career crisis of a partner he wanted to spend his life with.

If this were the love of his life, they would have been married by now not just sharing a house. Something was holding them back.

[Anonymous]

You need to dump her asap. She is using you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was the best outcome for you, OP. She was never planning to go back to work and the fact that she volunteered to move out makes things easier for you.

OR he lost love of his life because forum made him skeptical and suspicious of a standard career crisis of a partner he wanted to spend his life with.

This "love of his life" threatened to break up with him if he didnt support her. Reneged on a previous agreement (wfh, school). That doesnt sound like love, that sounds like a manipulative leech. Plus, all he did was stick to their previous agreement. She is the one that changed that, and she is the one that will be moving out because he wont financially support her sitting on her ass 24/7.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What does she plan to do all day?

OP here. She said she needs to just relax and rest. Focus on her body and getting that in order. She wants to do a 60-90 day juice fast to see if that can help her.

Run away, run away, run away and save your life

Hope you guys aren’t considered common law spouses already…

Wear a condom every time

OP here. No common law in my state.

We don’t plan on having kids. I’m already snipped and she has fertility issues. Neither of us want kids.

What kind of guy gets snipped on his own?

Most men only do this after finishing having kids. You are not even married and got snipped on your own?? I don’t buy it.

OP here. I knew I never wanted kids. It’s a way to make sure I didn’t accidentally have any. I got mine done at 32. I tried to get it done sooner but doctor advised me to wait.
You would’ve surprised how many men get one early on in life.

Do you think men need permission or somehow need to be married to get a vasectomy? I’m confused by your logic.

I’m married with 3 kids and in my forties. In our circles, men get them after they are done having kids.

The men I know don’t like the idea of being snipped but my sample is small. Dh is a surgeon, definitely does not want more kids and has not been in a rush to get snipped. We have talked about the topic with friends (all dads) and they cringe and the thought of it.

Like I said, my sample is small, maybe 20 men all over 40.

OP here. I have never wanted kids. I didn’t have to wait for marriage because kids were already off the table for me. I don’t like kids and was 100% sure u wouldn’t change my mind. I did not want to accidentally get someone pregnant. Plus, vasectomies are reversible if one desires to have kids.

Well you got a kid now! The Universe has a great sense of humor.

Lol yes.

[Anonymous]

OP here. This forum didn’t make me break up with her - she broke up with me, but it confirmed where I felt the relationship was heading. I would have ended the relationship if she didn’t. I’m all for being a supportive partner and helping her bridge the gap to her next job, but I’m not interested in taking care of someone who has no plan and doesn’t know when they will go back to work. I want an equal partner, not a dependent. I will get over this relationship and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My girlfriend and I share a home (mine) and we both work FT jobs. I make a decent amount more than her and she had been considering going back to school. I told her I supported her. She wanted to work PT, which I was on board with them, and then decided she wanted to quit to go to school to make things easier on her. I can afford it and was on board. She announced today that she is considering quitting school, but doesn’t want to go back to work right away. Her job is mentally and physically demanding and she needs to a break. I admittedly didn’t handle it well and told her to suck it up. People work jobs they hate everyday because nothing is free. She’s not upset with me and says that she can’t be a man who doesn’t support her. Who is in the wrong?

Did she read that stupid WSJ article about stay-at-home girlfriends having their moment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This forum didn’t make me break up with her - she broke up with me, but it confirmed where I felt the relationship was heading. I would have ended the relationship if she didn’t. I’m all for being a supportive partner and helping her bridge the gap to her next job, but I’m not interested in taking care of someone who has no plan and doesn’t know when they will go back to work. I want an equal partner, not a dependent. I will get over this relationship and move on.

She did have a plan.

A summer working on her injured body while getting certificates to work at home starting in the fall. But you did not put that in your first post so a lot of people didn't see that and piled on.

It's been two years and you haven't proposed and you are not sympathetic about her injuries. I am glad she broke up with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This forum didn’t make me break up with her - she broke up with me, but it confirmed where I felt the relationship was heading. I would have ended the relationship if she didn’t. I’m all for being a supportive partner and helping her bridge the gap to her next job, but I’m not interested in taking care of someone who has no plan and doesn’t know when they will go back to work. I want an equal partner, not a dependent. I will get over this relationship and move on.

She did have a plan.

A summer working on her injured body while getting certificates to work at home starting in the fall. But you did not put that in your first post so a lot of people didn't see that and piled on.

It's been two years and you haven't proposed and you are not sympathetic about her injuries. I am glad she broke up with you.

OP here. You must have missed my post where I said she took time off originally to focus on the certificates and then decided she didn’t want do it. Then it turned into she needed a break.

Her injury was over a decade ago and she had worked + been active this entire time. She does have a physical job but her injuries and pain are not debilitating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dump her she’s using you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This forum didn’t make me break up with her - she broke up with me, but it confirmed where I felt the relationship was heading. I would have ended the relationship if she didn’t. I’m all for being a supportive partner and helping her bridge the gap to her next job, but I’m not interested in taking care of someone who has no plan and doesn’t know when they will go back to work. I want an equal partner, not a dependent. I will get over this relationship and move on.

She did have a plan.

A summer working on her injured body while getting certificates to work at home starting in the fall. But you did not put that in your first post so a lot of people didn't see that and piled on.

It's been two years and you haven't proposed and you are not sympathetic about her injuries. I am glad she broke up with you.

Are you a leech like she is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she ‘needs a break’ at 30 with no kids then she’s going to be a serious liability when life actually gets tough.

Agree with this.

Interesting. The toughest part of my life has been my childhood.

[Anonymous]

The "stay at home" girlfriend thing is a lot more common than people realize.

My step-brother married one. When they were dating and living together, she made it well-known to everyone that she didn't like to work. That when she got married, she wanted to have at least 4 kids and SAH permanently. She had an undergrad degree from a local state school, but would bounce from job to job. Long stretches of unemployment. He was making OK money (CPA), but lots of pressure from her that he needed to level-up. She was a classic "Daddy's Girl" whose parents were subsidizing her lifestyle until she got married.

There is a sense of learned helplessness in that dynamic. And it's immense pressure on my step-brother. It would be one thing if someone gave up a good career to be home with their children and banked a lot savings during their working years. But to basically be dependent on one man (Daddy) and get married to be dependent on another man all while basically putting in no effort toward working or financial independence....I could never respect someone like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know she deals with issues and pain but so do I. I can’t just quit my job because of pain.

I worry because her mom never worked. Even after her kids were in school and older, she never held a job. Multiple times her dad went through layoffs and she never got a job. Her mom is incredibly lazy ( her dad’s words) and I don’t want that for my life.

PT is a very physical job for anyone. Have you ever seen a PT who was over 50? There is a reason.

You should support her emotionally, if not financially. Telling her to suck it up is not kind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The "stay at home" girlfriend thing is a lot more common than people realize.

My step-brother married one. When they were dating and living together, she made it well-known to everyone that she didn't like to work. That when she got married, she wanted to have at least 4 kids and SAH permanently. She had an undergrad degree from a local state school, but would bounce from job to job. Long stretches of unemployment. He was making OK money (CPA), but lots of pressure from her that he needed to level-up. She was a classic "Daddy's Girl" whose parents were subsidizing her lifestyle until she got married.

There is a sense of learned helplessness in that dynamic. And it's immense pressure on my step-brother. It would be one thing if someone gave up a good career to be home with their children and banked a lot savings during their working years. But to basically be dependent on one man (Daddy) and get married to be dependent on another man all while basically putting in no effort toward working or financial independence....I could never respect someone like that.

Corollary to this is the SAHG who is masquerading as a fitness/yoga instructor. Teaches 1-2x per week, but it's not enough to support a person (they only make $30-50/class). Always have a well-earning boyfriend to cover the real bills. This one is pretty common in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know she deals with issues and pain but so do I. I can’t just quit my job because of pain.

I worry because her mom never worked. Even after her kids were in school and older, she never held a job. Multiple times her dad went through layoffs and she never got a job. Her mom is incredibly lazy ( her dad’s words) and I don’t want that for my life.

PT is a very physical job for anyone. Have you ever seen a PT who was over 50? There is a reason.

You should support her emotionally, if not financially. Telling her to suck it up is not kind

OPs deadbeat bum gf found the thread