do you let friends stay at your second home?

[Anonymous]

We do but ask for cleaning fee, not because we're stingy or dont like our friends, more of a deterrent.
as mentioned, it's a pain and we dont rent out for same reason.

[Anonymous]

It would be different if you offered to let your friends stay at your house. You didn’t offer - they asked, and when they asked they didn’t want to know if you could go together on that weekend, or if they could pay rent.

I think that is ballsy on their part. I would say no on principle, to not face that question again.

[Anonymous]

1. It’s not a second home, it’s an investment property.

2. Close friends wouldn’t be weird. I’ve been invited to use numerous 2nd homes (that were actual 2nd homes because they were vacant when not occupied by owner) and invited friends to use mine when I had one. If the you’re really good friends, its pretty common.

[Anonymous]

We're happy to have our family stay, although they seldom take us up on the offer.

[Anonymous]

I have a second home and if I backed out of a planned weekend I would certainly let the other family use our house.

We used to let people use our house pretty frequently but now we are there most of the peak season so we are happy to have visitors but that's a different dynamic. It's not a place that many people go in the off season.

We've never rented it and we did ask for a cleaning fee because we would specifically have a cleaner come in after someone had used the house - the last thing I want is to arrive at my house and not have it be actually clean. That's one of the reasons we bought a house rather than renting (back in the day Cape Cod rentals were often cleaned by the departing tenants and we usually rented at the end of the summer when the house suffered from weeks of very superficial cleaning - yuck).

[Anonymous]

This seems very rude on their part IMO. If they were asking to rent it out for the usual cost, of course that would be more than fine. But to ask to use it for free? wow

It would not be strange for you to offer and then for them to take you up on it. But to just ask to use it uninvited? Rude.

[Anonymous]

We let friends use ours. We just ensure they pay for a cleaner. I find it weird you wouldn’t. I would however prioritise someone paying to rent it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is totally unreasonable for them to ask. If I regularly give a person a ride in my car then I have plans to go out of town for a couple of weeks , it isn’t reasonable the person asks to borrow my car. They can go get a rental car.

Your house is an asset and you can rent it for probably $1000 for a spring weekend. Friends wouldn’t ask for a $1000 so why do they think it is ok to use something worth $1000.

It is a slippery slope. Once you say yes these friends will continue to pester you. Just say it is being rented off the books 📚 n case they can see the online schedule of when it is rented through a booking agency.

this is really good advice, thank you.
I think some ppl just assume being someone has a second home, they can afford that 1000 hit. These ppl know us well enough to know we cannot. Although we enjoy it, often with them, it is a business, and someone must pay the utilities, cable, internet, etc.
I suppose that's why it feels funny to us.
It could also be booked at the last minute, and has before.

People who are saying just let them stay obviously do not have investment homes or are wealthy enough that they would never sweat it if the friends caused damage to the property or they had to give up a last minute booking.

Eventually if you do let them stay you absolutely will be pressured to keep doing it and it will get more awkward. Instead of being grateful friends like this will be resentful because in their mind you will end up being the scrooge because you once let them stay and now you don't. It may also cause issues because what if something happens while they are there and the next weekend you go and find something broken, stained, etc.

The other possibility is that if they are using the house and not renting the house and you aren't there if there is an accident like they slip on your deck or patio, their insurance will try to sue your home/rental insurance. But if they didn't rent the house then rental insurance wouldn't be valid. They might not want to sue you but literally every time a family member has gone to the ER with something that could have been from an accident like a broken arm, a concussion, a sprained foot we get a letter from our insurance company wanting more information and they specifically ask where the accident happened.

Really though the absolute main reason why you should say no is that this situation it is causing you STRESS, which isn't fair to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is totally unreasonable for them to ask. If I regularly give a person a ride in my car then I have plans to go out of town for a couple of weeks , it isn’t reasonable the person asks to borrow my car. They can go get a rental car.

Your house is an asset and you can rent it for probably $1000 for a spring weekend. Friends wouldn’t ask for a $1000 so why do they think it is ok to use something worth $1000.

It is a slippery slope. Once you say yes these friends will continue to pester you. Just say it is being rented off the books 📚 n case they can see the online schedule of when it is rented through a booking agency.

this is really good advice, thank you.
I think some ppl just assume being someone has a second home, they can afford that 1000 hit. These ppl know us well enough to know we cannot. Although we enjoy it, often with them, it is a business, and someone must pay the utilities, cable, internet, etc.
I suppose that's why it feels funny to us.
It could also be booked at the last minute, and has before.

People who are saying just let them stay obviously do not have investment homes or are wealthy enough that they would never sweat it if the friends caused damage to the property or they had to give up a last minute booking.

Eventually if you do let them stay you absolutely will be pressured to keep doing it and it will get more awkward. Instead of being grateful friends like this will be resentful because in their mind you will end up being the scrooge because you once let them stay and now you don't. It may also cause issues because what if something happens while they are there and the next weekend you go and find something broken, stained, etc.

The other possibility is that if they are using the house and not renting the house and you aren't there if there is an accident like they slip on your deck or patio, their insurance will try to sue your home/rental insurance. But if they didn't rent the house then rental insurance wouldn't be valid. They might not want to sue you but literally every time a family member has gone to the ER with something that could have been from an accident like a broken arm, a concussion, a sprained foot we get a letter from our insurance company wanting more information and they specifically ask where the accident happened.

Really though the absolute main reason why you should say no is that this situation it is causing you STRESS, which isn't fair to you.

Good points!
Although interestingly enough, the husband is our insurance agent for this property.
A few of you have mentioned we invited them. We did. But not for this weekend. A weekend two weeks ago where we had it blocked off for our use.

[Anonymous]

Do you have umbrella insurance to top liability insurance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems very rude on their part IMO. If they were asking to rent it out for the usual cost, of course that would be more than fine. But to ask to use it for free? wow

It would not be strange for you to offer and then for them to take you up on it. But to just ask to use it uninvited? Rude.

Did you read the post? They did invite them and then canceled due to the weather. They were asking if they could use it another weekend since the weekend they had planned was canceled.

[Anonymous]

Gosh it's so hard to be rich. So many dollars to look after!

Just tell them you need coverage for the cleaning fees and half-price (or whatever) rent since you need to maintain the rental property but you won't be attending yourself.

Stop being a insecure drama llama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, all the time. Wouldn't think twice about it and I would have offered it to them when I canceled. I'd ask them to pick up the cleaning and give them any info they'd need before the cleaners got in there (ie, strip the sheets when you head out) or quirks about the place, and let them have at it.

I actually like my friends though and I get the sense that's not all that common on DCUM.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have umbrella insurance to top liability insurance?

Yes. And the property is under an LLC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems very rude on their part IMO. If they were asking to rent it out for the usual cost, of course that would be more than fine. But to ask to use it for free? wow

It would not be strange for you to offer and then for them to take you up on it. But to just ask to use it uninvited? Rude.

Did you read the post? They did invite them and then canceled due to the weather. They were asking if they could use it another weekend since the weekend they had planned was canceled.

But it would be a completely different trip if the owners arent there.