do you let friends stay at your second home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you already rent it out I don’t see the issue. I would ask them to pay whatever costs are associated though—cleaners, etc.

+1 you don’t have a problem with strangers staying there so why not your friends? Have them pay for the cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you already rent it out I don’t see the issue. I would ask them to pay whatever costs are associated though—cleaners, etc.

+1 you don’t have a problem with strangers staying there so why not your friends? Have them pay for the cleaning.

DP here. Because if the people that want to use it are "gimme" types, that is setting the precedent for them thinking they can use the house when they want to. Are you like that?

[Anonymous]

I think ppl aren’t understanding the question I originally asked.
Why does this feel odd to me?! Like we’re being asked to give them something that has monetary value. I would never ask this of someone. I don’t know why. We’re pretty good friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think ppl aren’t understanding the question I originally asked.
Why does this feel odd to me?! Like we’re being asked to give them something that has monetary value. I would never ask this of someone. I don’t know why. We’re pretty good friends.

I’m just so grateful that I am not such an ungenerous person. I would happily share my blessings with people I call my friends, and it would never occur to me to think of them as takers or gimmes or whatever you are thinking about your so-called friends right now.

The love of money truly is the root of all evil.

[Anonymous]

You can just say that you have rented it for this weekend. I realize it's a white lie, but you wouldn't have to get into a discussion about feeling weird. It lets them know that others pay to stay there but doesn't imply that you expect friends to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think ppl aren’t understanding the question I originally asked.
Why does this feel odd to me?! Like we’re being asked to give them something that has monetary value. I would never ask this of someone. I don’t know why. We’re pretty good friends.

I’m just so grateful that I am not such an ungenerous person. I would happily share my blessings with people I call my friends, and it would never occur to me to think of them as takers or gimmes or whatever you are thinking about your so-called friends right now.

The love of money truly is the root of all evil.

Grateful but ungodly pretentious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can just say that you have rented it for this weekend. I realize it's a white lie, but you wouldn't have to get into a discussion about feeling weird. It lets them know that others pay to stay there but doesn't imply that you expect friends to.

Yes. This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think ppl aren’t understanding the question I originally asked.
Why does this feel odd to me?! Like we’re being asked to give them something that has monetary value. I would never ask this of someone. I don’t know why. We’re pretty good friends.

I’m just so grateful that I am not such an ungenerous person. I would happily share my blessings with people I call my friends, and it would never occur to me to think of them as takers or gimmes or whatever you are thinking about your so-called friends right now.

The love of money truly is the root of all evil.

This is such an unfair reply, PP. OP has been generous and has invited the friend to stay many times - with OP's family. A good and considerate friend should not have asked to stay when OP can't be there and not offer to pay. PP, as a self-declared generous soul, would you invite yourself to another friend's vacation home? Come on people, this is about common courtesy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you calling in a second Home? It’s a rental property. It’s an investment. It’s not a second home.

Our Rehoboth home is a 2nd home but also bought it as an investment as I knew it would increase in value considerably if held a long time . Now 20 yrs later … never rented ..and tripled in value..all with a 3% rate. Good investment and soon to be paid off.

[Anonymous]

I’m glad to hear I’m not alone in thinking this is such a hassle. I had a second home in the city and friends who knew, asked to stay all the time and I would reluctantly let them. It is a pain to go and check on the property before and after they left. And no, I did not charge them rent. Just not worth it for me to do anymore.

[Anonymous]

If you didn’t rent the house out then I would say no, but privacy isn’t an issue so I’m not seeing the problem since you seemingly allow strangers to stay. Is the money the issue? I

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if you had planned to go with them and then backed out, but they still want to go- I’d let them. You already invited them there for the weekend, the gracious thing would be to tell them they should definitely go without you when you call them to say you can’t make it anymore

Agree. It’s not odd for them to assume or ask if they could still go, especially if they were already invited for free and know this property is rented out so it’s not strange to be there without the owner present. Personally, I would feel more comfortable with family and friends going for free than paid strangers. Having strangers with access to my home even secondary gives me the creeps.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it feels weird bc you wouldn’t ever ask them for the same thing bc you know how much money, time, and mental effort it takes to prep and clean a home. But they would never fully understand unless they themselves have a second home. If they understood the ask, they would have offered to cover the cleaning fee or pay rent. And they didn’t, which makes it awkward for you if you broach the topic.

But we do this to other people all the time… ask for help thinking it’s an easy ask, but they are probably thinking that it’s such a hassle.

[Anonymous]

Yes, all the time. Wouldn't think twice about it and I would have offered it to them when I canceled. I'd ask them to pick up the cleaning and give them any info they'd need before the cleaners got in there (ie, strip the sheets when you head out) or quirks about the place, and let them have at it.

I actually like my friends though and I get the sense that's not all that common on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Not often but yes, we do.

No cleaning fee because… these are friends we’re talking about.