Anonymous wrote:No OP, but a mom who has a very similar child. My apologies in advance for the long post that will probably go unnoticed this far back in an old thread, but in case Susan/OP and the above poster will read it, here we go.
I looked at all the school mentioned and bottom line, there are no schools in this area that have this combo (grade level or above academics combined with heavy behavioral support). Part of my son’s dysregulation would be caused by his being asked to do schoolwork that he was far beyond. Things like being asked to do an addition worksheet when he could already multiply fractions, reading simple sentences when he was reading long chapter novels, would frustrate him to no end, and when combined with his fine motor delays, just produced a nightmare scenario.
At the end of the day, it didn’t matter how smart, kind, and lovable my son was when he was not upset, because when he was dysregulated he was a different person altogether-and he couldn’t control it at all. Screaming, throwing things, eloping, hitting adults who tried to help, hitting peers when he was angry, he did almost every awful thing you can think of. And he would cry and cry afterwards when he realized he had “done it again” and hurt those who tried to help. K and first grade were very, very dark for all of us.
In the later half of first grade, we had a behaviorist come in to the school and observe. She wasn’t a therapist and didn’t deal with my son beyond seeing him a few times at school. However, she was able to help us (parents and teachers) create a plan to regulate him, was instrumental in getting the right supports and accommodations in his IEP, and gave the staff and admin support and ideas on how best to help my son when he was dysregulated so that the violence didn’t get out of hand. We are lucky to have a wonderful school and admin who bent over backwards to help my son.
As he has gotten older (he’s in 4th now), he has gotten much better at regulating his emotions, and he hasn’t had a violent episode in over a year. As his regulation improved, he was able to access more and more of the gifted curriculum, which helped tremendously in his behavior.
All of this is written to give you some hope that it will get better. Public is your best bet right now, and our behaviorist’s name is Sharon Weiss-can’t recommend her enough. I have no idea if the level of your sons’ dysregulation is similar to mine, but if it is, hopefully this will give you some ideas and hope.
Just curious which school you landed in? Our kindergartener has a similar profile - kind, thoughtful, funny when regulated, can lash out when disregulated. Our DCPS school is dropping significant hits that they won't be able to continue to support our child - we're in the throes of trying to find alternate options.
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