First grade son with behavioral challenges -- looking for school in northern Virginia/DC/Maryland

[susanj]

Our son is in first grade in a private school that does not have a lot of resources to help special needs. He has a developmental delay emotionally/behaviorally where he handles frustration poorly. He's a black/white thinker and not flexible. When he's regulated, he is sweet, loving and functions normally. However, once frustrated he lashes out, can be aggressive and inappropriate. The school had to pull him out of the classroom because he was hitting other kids. The school is not equipped to handle him as they have no specialists of any kind and are short on resources. I've heard that northern VA public schools might not be any better because, while they have a ton more resources, they don't exactly specialize in kids like my son. Franklin Sherman (FCPS) is our designated public school where he could go.

His therapists think he needs a private school with very small classes where he can get individualized attention and where they are more flexible in their learning methods. Does anyone know any schools in the area like this? If it helps, our therapists do NOT recommend the LAB school in DC because even though it is great for kids with learning disabilities, it wouldn't be a good fit for a child who acts out when frustrated who otherwise has no known learning disabilities. What we don't need is to pay for an expensive school, only for them to kick him out for behavioral issues (LAB does not provide refunds I guess). I really need help and am desperate to find an understanding and non-judgmental school community that could help him.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately there are no private schools that will take an aggressive child. Your best bet is to go through the public system with an IEP.

[Anonymous]

You haven't mentioned a diagnosis? At first grade, I think the best thing you can do is to pursue one, if any. That will inform treatment options (and can help self esteem too). I do not think a private will accept a kid this age with known issues and no diagnosis, concrete treatment.

[Anonymous]

He had a psyche eval and was diagnosed as a 2e. Since then, the therapists doubt the autism diagnosis even though he tested as being on the spectrum on paper. So, we have one, but it hasn’t been particularly helpful so far.

[Anonymous]

Auburn, Maddux, maybe Newton, ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately there are no private schools that will take an aggressive child. Your best bet is to go through the public system with an IEP.

I know it’s not what you’re looking to hear but PP is likely right. I’d be looking hard at Plan B which is what type of services can public provide to help your child be successful. If the magical private existed, your therapist would be able to name it. The fact that you were sent on what is likely a wild goose chase rather than being provided with specific recommendations is telling.

We’re not in your district so I don’t know the special programs in your public.

[Anonymous]

My experience is based on having an older kid who had behavioral issues that sometimes expressed as aggression. We tried for private middle school (after public elementary) but ended up at a public middle school in a special program that has really helped.

Some kids who are aggressive in mainstream settings might not be with appropriate support. But it’s hard for schools to know and even the special needs schools have enough choice in students that they tend to shy away from some students that might fit in. Some schools you might look at include Diener, Auburn, and Newton. But I think it really depends on the frequency of incidents and how hard it is to head them off.

I would also explore public schools. We are not in FCPS but have found in our school district that you really need to learn about all the options for support and advocate for your child. Despite all the statements on DCUM that it’s parents of aggressive kids who want to keep them in mainstream classrooms, we found ourselves having to push really hard to have the school even consider a smaller setting. The school-based staff didn’t know about countywide programs at other schools.

I would reach out to the FCPS Family Resource Center and ask them to go over all the different programs and resources. Ask about worst case scenarios- if co-taught classes don’t work out, what are all thee other options. What if he keeps being aggressive, etc. What support staff can be brought in for consultations- behavior intervention specialists or autism specialists, etc. APS has a student support manual that lays out what the process is supposed to look like but our elementary didn’t follow it. I wish I had known earlier that I needed to push them more, especially to do a functional behavioral analysis (FBA).

Also, if it’s been a few years since your kid was assessed, you might want an updated neuropsych evaluation. It might provide more insight into what is going on.

[Anonymous]

Is he medicated? That might be your best bet for success at school.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely check with FCPS Parent Resource Center.

[Anonymous]

You need to send him to public with an IEP. Therapists don’t always understand the lack of options for kids with aggression. The small privates that accept kids with aggression are typically for more serious disabilities and are publicly funded.

[Anonymous]

Op, you wouldn’t get into Lab, not to be harsh. They would not take this profile. Nor would Maddux. Diener may but they may not be able to keep him if he continues to act out. You are going to have to do public.

[Anonymous]

Try Linder academy. They understand that when a kid is not in the right place they may lash out physically.

[Anonymous]

^you might also try Ivy mount Asperger’s program.don’t know what it’s called now

[Anonymous]

For public, you probably want a contained classroom. Gen ed with 25+ kids with 1 teacher and maybe a para for the kids with IEP. The para will be for the whole class not just your kid. A special education teacher might in the class part of the time, but not full time.

For the sake of your child’s mental health, do not start public school without an IEP. If this a route you are considering, reach out to the base school now to start the evaluation process. It takes months to get an IEP approved.

The issue that I had with FCPS is that they want the kids to fail before they do something. So they might propose general education classroom and then they will want data and it will take months to move to a different placement.

An advocate with FCPS might be help cut some of the red tape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try Linder academy. They understand that when a kid is not in the right place they may lash out physically.

I doubt they’ll keep a kid regularly hitting peers or teachers.