First grade son with behavioral challenges -- looking for school in northern Virginia/DC/Maryland

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing aggravated me after 15 years of reading this forum more than neuropsychs and therapists who send people on wild goose chases for school they KNOW DO NOT EXIST. Why do they do this?

right??!

Amen. I have seen this over and over. Even the "best" NP reports send parents off to find the gold at the end of the rainbow. WHY do they do this!?!?

Because they SHOULD exist. We need to push the schools in our area to meet the need, which is enormous.

Um, we pay for the NP report to give us useful information, not aspirations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can a private speech therapist or occupational therapist using the social thinking or zones of regulation program come to his school to work with staff and your child? The public schools can also set up a service plan IEP to help his private school team if you keep him in private school. You would have to have him evaluated and see if he qualifies for special education through the Fairfax public schools.

social thinking/zones of regulation are garbage. he needs and FBA and a BIP, and possibly a classroom staffed by a BCBA.

Social Thinking and Zones of Regulation are NOT garbage. My autistic child gained so many skills through these programs. Through private OT/ST and through an integrated curriculum at her previous private school placement where the teachers used ST/ZoR throughout the day. Total game changer! The school also had a BCBA on staff who used these methodologies. Our entire family learned how to model and facilitate self-regulation to provide continuity of support at home. It was empowering for our child, who has made enormous strides by accessing the tools.

I highly recommend connecting with a neuropsych and/or a developmental pediatrician to do a full assessment and provide recommendations. Understanding the "why" behind the behaviors is critical. It will help inform the FBA and BIP if you go that route. A BIP must make a good match between the behaviors and the strategies to address them. And a BCBA who is trained in the specific strategies is essential. Surround your kid with a team that "gets" them and is familiar with the full range of positive pro-social supports. Don't let anyone make you think your kid is trying to misbehave or a problem they are stuck with. All Behavior Communicates! It's up to everyone on the team to get to know them and help them thrive.

“ To date, there is very little empirical evidence to show efficacy for the Zones of Regulation. According to standards published by the American Psychological Association, National Standards Project, and National Clearinghouse of Autism Evidence and Practice, the Zones of Regulation does not meet the standards for an evidence-based practice. “
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/00224669231170202

“ This intervention has been utilized by behaviorists and non-behaviorists. This commentary will outline Social Thinking® and provide evidence that the procedure, at the current time, qualifies as a pseudoscience and, therefore, should not be implemented with individuals diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, especially given the availability of alternatives which clearly meet the standard of evidence science.”

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4893033/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are at FCPS try to get into a CSS (comprehensive services site). We did this and it was a game changer. If the needs are higher need then you can look at Burke. Many parents don't want to do this but these programs really help kids with behaviors immensely.

Burke doesn't have an elementary school. I'm at a complete loss for why people on this listserv recommend schools that they know nothing about.

Burke is a public day for k-8. They do have an elementary division for students who need more services than CSS (FCPS teacher who worked in CSS and has recommended Burke for a more appropriate placement for elementary school students).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can a private speech therapist or occupational therapist using the social thinking or zones of regulation program come to his school to work with staff and your child? The public schools can also set up a service plan IEP to help his private school team if you keep him in private school. You would have to have him evaluated and see if he qualifies for special education through the Fairfax public schools.

social thinking/zones of regulation are garbage. he needs and FBA and a BIP, and possibly a classroom staffed by a BCBA.

Social Thinking and Zones of Regulation are NOT garbage. My autistic child gained so many skills through these programs. Through private OT/ST and through an integrated curriculum at her previous private school placement where the teachers used ST/ZoR throughout the day. Total game changer! The school also had a BCBA on staff who used these methodologies. Our entire family learned how to model and facilitate self-regulation to provide continuity of support at home. It was empowering for our child, who has made enormous strides by accessing the tools.

I highly recommend connecting with a neuropsych and/or a developmental pediatrician to do a full assessment and provide recommendations. Understanding the "why" behind the behaviors is critical. It will help inform the FBA and BIP if you go that route. A BIP must make a good match between the behaviors and the strategies to address them. And a BCBA who is trained in the specific strategies is essential. Surround your kid with a team that "gets" them and is familiar with the full range of positive pro-social supports. Don't let anyone make you think your kid is trying to misbehave or a problem they are stuck with. All Behavior Communicates! It's up to everyone on the team to get to know them and help them thrive.

“ To date, there is very little empirical evidence to show efficacy for the Zones of Regulation. According to standards published by the American Psychological Association, National Standards Project, and National Clearinghouse of Autism Evidence and Practice, the Zones of Regulation does not meet the standards for an evidence-based practice. “
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/00224669231170202

“ This intervention has been utilized by behaviorists and non-behaviorists. This commentary will outline Social Thinking® and provide evidence that the procedure, at the current time, qualifies as a pseudoscience and, therefore, should not be implemented with individuals diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, especially given the availability of alternatives which clearly meet the standard of evidence science.”

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4893033/

Thank you for the reminder that autism support services need to be reviewed scientifically and take into consideration their impact over the long term. Just be careful with your language about what should be considered "garbage" - maybe you tried it and had a negative experience but others may have had the opposite experience. Folks on this website are looking for advice from other families who are going through the same challenges and are seeking resources that have personally helped them. Autistic individuals have long been misunderstood and treated poorly through misguided approaches so challenging all curricula to meet scientific standards is fair. ASD folks deserve appropriate and inclusive supports that validate them.

Here is some perspective I found helpful regarding how to navigate choosing a therapy within this complex landscape:

https://www.sociallyaccepted.net/2019/07/21/social-thinking-a-review-from-someone-who-has-actually-taught-it/

https://asatonline.org/for-parents/becoming-a-savvy-consumer/social-thinking/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For public, you probably want a contained classroom. Gen ed with 25+ kids with 1 teacher and maybe a para for the kids with IEP. The para will be for the whole class not just your kid. A special education teacher might in the class part of the time, but not full time.

For the sake of your child’s mental health, do not start public school without an IEP. If this a route you are considering, reach out to the base school now to start the evaluation process. It takes months to get an IEP approved.

The issue that I had with FCPS is that they want the kids to fail before they do something. So they might propose general education classroom and then they will want data and it will take months to move to a different placement.

An advocate with FCPS might be help cut some of the red tape.

+1 regarding the reality of working with FCPS, sadly. And a strong YES to an advocate for all interactions with them. If you have access to additional resources beyond what the public school is willing to offer, don't wait. Even with all the best intentions of the teachers and staff, the County's resources are stretched far too thin for many kids in SPED.

[Anonymous]

Hi Susan, did you find out any school for your son? I am no the same situation with my son. He is very smart, does not have a learning disability and is very sweet and charming when he is regulated. However, when he gets frustrated, he lashes out and becomes aggressive. He is 2e, but we havent been able to find any school that would fit his needs.

[Anonymous]

No OP, but a mom who has a very similar child. My apologies in advance for the long post that will probably go unnoticed this far back in an old thread, but in case Susan/OP and the above poster will read it, here we go.

I looked at all the school mentioned and bottom line, there are no schools in this area that have this combo (grade level or above academics combined with heavy behavioral support). Part of my son’s dysregulation would be caused by his being asked to do schoolwork that he was far beyond. Things like being asked to do an addition worksheet when he could already multiply fractions, reading simple sentences when he was reading long chapter novels, would frustrate him to no end, and when combined with his fine motor delays, just produced a nightmare scenario.

At the end of the day, it didn’t matter how smart, kind, and lovable my son was when he was not upset, because when he was dysregulated he was a different person altogether-and he couldn’t control it at all. Screaming, throwing things, eloping, hitting adults who tried to help, hitting peers when he was angry, he did almost every awful thing you can think of. And he would cry and cry afterwards when he realized he had “done it again” and hurt those who tried to help. K and first grade were very, very dark for all of us.

In the later half of first grade, we had a behaviorist come in to the school and observe. She wasn’t a therapist and didn’t deal with my son beyond seeing him a few times at school. However, she was able to help us (parents and teachers) create a plan to regulate him, was instrumental in getting the right supports and accommodations in his IEP, and gave the staff and admin support and ideas on how best to help my son when he was dysregulated so that the violence didn’t get out of hand. We are lucky to have a wonderful school and admin who bent over backwards to help my son.

As he has gotten older (he’s in 4th now), he has gotten much better at regulating his emotions, and he hasn’t had a violent episode in over a year. As his regulation improved, he was able to access more and more of the gifted curriculum, which helped tremendously in his behavior.

All of this is written to give you some hope that it will get better. Public is your best bet right now, and our behaviorist’s name is Sharon Weiss-can’t recommend her enough. I have no idea if the level of your sons’ dysregulation is similar to mine, but if it is, hopefully this will give you some ideas and hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would look at the Lourie Center school, and also ask about either 1:1 aide or a self contained school in your county.

I agree that Maddux, Diener, and Auburn could all be possibilities if you think the issue is that he is not well supported and that the disregulation could disappear in those contexts. I'd add Katherine Thomas to that list, but definitely not Lab.

I was coming to suggest Lourie Center school. I agree with all of this list.

[Anonymous]

Auburn might accept a child with aggressive behavior.
Not sure about Diener.
Maddux or Newton will definitely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Auburn might accept a child with aggressive behavior.
Not sure about Diener.
Maddux or Newton will definitely not.

Diener won’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^you might also try Ivy mount Asperger’s program.don’t know what it’s called now

This is what I thought too. Rigid thinking is a hallmark of autism.

[Anonymous]

Have you looked at McLean School in Potomac? It’s definitely worth researching. You may benefit from an educational consultant which unfortunately is expensive but can save you a lot of time, hassle, and stress.

[Anonymous]

Huge pet peeve of mine that honestly fills me with rage and I have seen it on this board over and over for 15 years---doctors, psychologist, neuropsychs who tell parents their kid needs a school that does x and y but don't name specific schools. *Because they know those schools DO NOT exist.* ugh!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huge pet peeve of mine that honestly fills me with rage and I have seen it on this board over and over for 15 years---doctors, psychologist, neuropsychs who tell parents their kid needs a school that does x and y but don't name specific schools. *Because they know those schools DO NOT exist.* ugh!!!!

Haha, just realized this was an old thread and I posted similarly months ago. Yep, serious peeve!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huge pet peeve of mine that honestly fills me with rage and I have seen it on this board over and over for 15 years---doctors, psychologist, neuropsychs who tell parents their kid needs a school that does x and y but don't name specific schools. *Because they know those schools DO NOT exist.* ugh!!!!

HUGE pet peeve of mine that really upsets me and I’ve seen it on this board over and over is people recommending schools like McLean, Potomac or Lab that are well known to NOT accept children on the spectrum!
Double ugh!!!!