When the estate breaks the family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am still SO curious about how House Sibling justifies this. I wonder if they believe that they had some sort of deal that in return for the house, they would have parents move in and care for them? Or do they feel like they were constrained in their ability to relocate due to the co-ownership? Maybe they wanted to liquidate but parents refused?

Probably simple greed and life experience with bullying sibs.

The parent chose tenant in common ownership to subvert what she is trying to pull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is the law, the parents’ original intent as indicated by the deed, and then what is best for long term harmony - and it’s possible none of those is fair.

No one is entitled to an inheritance. While it’s true that the parents’ “investment” in the sibling’s home has panned out well that is mostly luck and timing and is also unrealized gains. The parents could have left that money in a savings account or blown it on Trump NFTs. Claiming an equal portion of the gains seems greedy. Forcing a sibling to move also feels greedy. If I bought my home today, my payment would double!

I think the non-homeowner sibs need to take whatever hangups they have about the homeowner sibling’s success to therapy instead of blowing a ton of money on legal fees out of spite and losing their family in the process. Therapy is expensive, but in an hour for hour basis it is cheaper than a lawyer.

I get it that the final outcome may not be fair or equal. It might not even result in each sib getting every penny they are legally due.

How many total siblings? From the wording, at least 4. The homeowner, OP, and “siblings” = 2 or more.
How much was the original investment? What is that amount, divided equally among siblings, minus however ever much you are about to blow on legal fees?
How much are your family relationships worth to you? Is the money enough to lose a relationship with your siblings and your children with their cousins? Over money?

The sib relationships are done for due to House Sib's naked greed.

Can't "buy" a good relationship with such people.

OP, will the executor hire a lawyer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe in Maryland, TIC are proportionally responsible for all costs associated with ownership- taxes, HOA, insurance, maintenance, improvements. If the parents weren’t paying half, I’d expect House Sibling to ask for all of that with interest + legal fees (unless there was a separate shared ownership contract). Depending on how long they’ve been in the house, the ownership costs could make a significant dent in the estate’s half.

House Sibling either has something significant up his sleeve or has his head lodged in another part. I don’t envy you in this situation, OP.

This is why the estate needs to hire a lawyer to make sure that the law is followed.

[Anonymous]

OP back. Estate has a lawyer and has had the same one since the will/trust were created. Now to make you all scream this has been going on for over 7 years. Parent was making monthly payments to sibling for more than their mortgage payment when alive. We never questioned it since that was parent's money and decision. Upon death House Sibling lost it and feels siblings should support the family. Both parents gainfully employed and one works in Big Law so anytime estate lawyer writes a letter or makes a move House sibling gets lawyer to write letter threatening everyone. Executor sibling has let this go on so long is now worried about being sued (rightfully so).

Yes I know the relationships are broken. I think it is now a mental illness with House Sibling. I haven't had contact in years so not sure but from early communication House Sibling really feels that parent support the family lifestyle and that siblings should continue that after death of parents. Last letter from their lawyer proposed siblings paying House sibling to remove estate from deed. It makes no sense but judge keeps saying to work it out privately.

[Anonymous]

Trickling information out screams troll. Really, what’s the point? You have enough spare cash flow to let this continue for seven years, skim some off for a therapist to vent to, for heavens sake.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the estate lawyer needs to put some pressure on to get the court to resolve this. continued negotiations with irrational people is a waste of money.

[Anonymous]

Why were your parents supporting this sibling for so long?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Estate has a lawyer and has had the same one since the will/trust were created. Now to make you all scream this has been going on for over 7 years. Parent was making monthly payments to sibling for more than their mortgage payment when alive. We never questioned it since that was parent's money and decision. Upon death House Sibling lost it and feels siblings should support the family. Both parents gainfully employed and one works in Big Law so anytime estate lawyer writes a letter or makes a move House sibling gets lawyer to write letter threatening everyone. Executor sibling has let this go on so long is now worried about being sued (rightfully so).

Yes I know the relationships are broken. I think it is now a mental illness with House Sibling. I haven't had contact in years so not sure but from early communication House Sibling really feels that parent support the family lifestyle and that siblings should continue that after death of parents. Last letter from their lawyer proposed siblings paying House sibling to remove estate from deed. It makes no sense but judge keeps saying to work it out privately.

It's unfortunate that House Sibling is a lawyer. They can afford to be a nuisance and hope that eventually other siblings will give in. This has to be mental illness or the ultimate in greed. I wouldn't be surprised if House Sibling bullied parent into continuing to pay and parent didn't know how to get out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the estate lawyer needs to put some pressure on to get the court to resolve this. continued negotiations with irrational people is a waste of money.

Sounds like executor and estate lawyer are too weak.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to hire your own cutthroat lawyer to fight back.

[Anonymous]

The estate owns half the house and the purchasing sibling owns half the house.

Let’s say house was purchased for 500k with each “party” putting down 50k (for total 100k down payment), and house is now worth $1m. The estate owns 50%. So the estate is owed 500k minus their half of the mortgage.

If sibling has been handling all maintenance, taxes, etc. I’d give them a generous credit for that. So let’s say 500k minus hypothetical 150k remaining on mortgage minus 50k for taxes/maintenance = 300k owed to estate.

Sibling could buy that out or give up that equivalent of cash remaining. No way should sibling just claim the estate’s half of the home and get their share of other assets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Estate has a lawyer and has had the same one since the will/trust were created. Now to make you all scream this has been going on for over 7 years. Parent was making monthly payments to sibling for more than their mortgage payment when alive. We never questioned it since that was parent's money and decision. Upon death House Sibling lost it and feels siblings should support the family. Both parents gainfully employed and one works in Big Law so anytime estate lawyer writes a letter or makes a move House sibling gets lawyer to write letter threatening everyone. Executor sibling has let this go on so long is now worried about being sued (rightfully so).

Yes I know the relationships are broken. I think it is now a mental illness with House Sibling. I haven't had contact in years so not sure but from early communication House Sibling really feels that parent support the family lifestyle and that siblings should continue that after death of parents. Last letter from their lawyer proposed siblings paying House sibling to remove estate from deed. It makes no sense but judge keeps saying to work it out privately.

This would change everything for me. House Sibling is not paying his very good attorney and the firm has powerful connections. I would walk away. You will pay attorneys and forensic accountants, you will have continual stress. I would stop the bleeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The estate owns half the house and the purchasing sibling owns half the house.

Let’s say house was purchased for 500k with each “party” putting down 50k (for total 100k down payment), and house is now worth $1m. The estate owns 50%. So the estate is owed 500k minus their half of the mortgage.

If sibling has been handling all maintenance, taxes, etc. I’d give them a generous credit for that. So let’s say 500k minus hypothetical 150k remaining on mortgage minus 50k for taxes/maintenance = 300k owed to estate.

Sibling could buy that out or give up that equivalent of cash remaining. No way should sibling just claim the estate’s half of the home and get their share of other assets.

This. And also the estate needs a better lawyer. A single tenant in common can sell their share to anyone they wish. House Sib may have right of first offer or right of first refusal. If House Sib refuses to offer the estate a reasonable buyout, a judge will likely force a sale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The estate owns half the house and the purchasing sibling owns half the house.

Let’s say house was purchased for 500k with each “party” putting down 50k (for total 100k down payment), and house is now worth $1m. The estate owns 50%. So the estate is owed 500k minus their half of the mortgage.

If sibling has been handling all maintenance, taxes, etc. I’d give them a generous credit for that. So let’s say 500k minus hypothetical 150k remaining on mortgage minus 50k for taxes/maintenance = 300k owed to estate.

Sibling could buy that out or give up that equivalent of cash remaining. No way should sibling just claim the estate’s half of the home and get their share of other assets.

This. And also the estate needs a better lawyer. A single tenant in common can sell their share to anyone they wish. House Sib may have right of first offer or right of first refusal. If House Sib refuses to offer the estate a reasonable buyout, a judge will likely force a sale.

This. Replace the lawyer, turn the page and get to a resolution. Is judge in same jurisdiction as BigLaw/House Sib? If so, may be a relationship there with firm. You need an aggressive lawyer with ties to judge to get this done. You may need to request a new probate judge as well.

Good luck! Your parent knew this was a bully/steamroller situation. Their intent is clear. Your sib is probably a borderline married to a narc BigLaw bully, it's a common pairing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is the law, the parents’ original intent as indicated by the deed, and then what is best for long term harmony - and it’s possible none of those is fair.

No one is entitled to an inheritance. While it’s true that the parents’ “investment” in the sibling’s home has panned out well that is mostly luck and timing and is also unrealized gains. The parents could have left that money in a savings account or blown it on Trump NFTs. Claiming an equal portion of the gains seems greedy. Forcing a sibling to move also feels greedy. If I bought my home today, my payment would double!

I think the non-homeowner sibs need to take whatever hangups they have about the homeowner sibling’s success to therapy instead of blowing a ton of money on legal fees out of spite and losing their family in the process. Therapy is expensive, but in an hour for hour basis it is cheaper than a lawyer.

I get it that the final outcome may not be fair or equal. It might not even result in each sib getting every penny they are legally due.

How many total siblings? From the wording, at least 4. The homeowner, OP, and “siblings” = 2 or more.
How much was the original investment? What is that amount, divided equally among siblings, minus however ever much you are about to blow on legal fees?
How much are your family relationships worth to you? Is the money enough to lose a relationship with your siblings and your children with their cousins? Over money?

How can you go willi nilly another relationship if your sibling wants to stiff you out of at least $100K? You can pretend, but there is no relationship there.