Signs once wealthy now in genteel poverty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just read any novel by Henry James

Or the Dashwoods of Sense and Sensibility. Coming from extreme wealth; they had to move to a rented home on the estate of a distant cousin and ration their beef and sugar purchases, but still had TWO full time, live-in servants. Because any less would not be proper.

Miss Bates and her mother from Emma might be a better example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this one! Went to one of the Big 3 DC privates and an Ivy, married a rich guy, was a SAHM, but is now divorced, has a job, and kids are in public school (Bethesda, but still). Way smaller house (Bethesda, but still). Expected to spend her life at the country club, Martha's Vineyard, shopping in NYC, etc. but now probably buys her clothes at Secondi. Has a BMW SUV but it is 10 years old because she can't take on a car payment.

The horror. I live in Chevy Chase and know women like this. They are living quite comfortably, even if not as lavishly as they previously did, and are usually much happier post-divorce. Not everybody gets all their sense of self-esteem from logos and brands.

Straw man argument. Nearly everything listed (Big3/Ivy/SAHM/MV/BMW) is a type of self-branding or brand-alignment, just not from a clothing store. These women aren’t better, or even all that different, than the person wearing someone else’s initials around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once dated a Vanderbilt who was a journalist. There were just too many descendants and the fortune was diluted.

Anderson Cooper? He’s doing okay now.

[Anonymous]

Genteel poverty = Brett Kavanaugh circa 2017

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some signs...

If they are living in a run down motel located in the town they own, which is their one remaining asset. Nearly always you can see their well-to-do attitudes conflicting with the more provincial town residents. Eventually they do learn to see past their differences and develop close friendships with the locals and even find romantic partners. It can be quite heart-warming to see.

Their children usually appear spoiled, but along with their mother make the best out of the career and social prospects offered in their new home and often really add some pizzazz to the community--literally, since you may see their flashy designer clothes at your local consignment store!

If they seem to be unfamiliar with basic home cooking/baking techniques, aren't sure how tax writeoffs work, or have a tab at the neighborhood eatery this can also be a sign of genteel poverty.

The father in particular can usually leverage the networking skills polished in his former circles and go into business with the big political players in town, like the mayor. In the end the family only becomes stronger for their experience, and everyone figures out just where they belong.

This sounds a little bit....something

LOL! The best show ever!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this one! Went to one of the Big 3 DC privates and an Ivy, married a rich guy, was a SAHM, but is now divorced, has a job, and kids are in public school (Bethesda, but still). Way smaller house (Bethesda, but still). Expected to spend her life at the country club, Martha's Vineyard, shopping in NYC, etc. but now probably buys her clothes at Secondi. Has a BMW SUV but it is 10 years old because she can't take on a car payment.

You sound like you’ve given this some thought and sound like a gross, judgmental person. Wait until your shoe drops

That's what happened to her. She was one of those people who acted like you were a negligent parent if you sent your kids to public school. Glad we're not neighbors anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once dated a Vanderbilt who was a journalist. There were just too many descendants and the fortune was diluted.

Anderson Cooper? He’s doing okay now.

Nope a different one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you mean like Cohen? that is weird

Cohen is the priestly caste. You are supposed to marry another Cohen (though it can be spelled differently) so your sons will also be if the priestly caste.

It’s not that you are actually related to the other Cohens. You just have an ever shrinking gene pool and inherited conditions become more common. Other last names will get fresh genes from conversions and adoptions.

It does not work that way. Tribe is passed down by the father. So you don't "marry another Cohen." That's not a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there any stories you can share? I haven’t seen this topic for a while now so I am starting a new thread.

Large inherited furniture that doesn’t really fit in a smaller house
Pedigree college education in something like archeology, comparative literature, cultural anthropology, or art history
Old fashioned good manners and educated speech patterns
Family burial lots in prestige cemeteries
Sends thank you notes
Well travelled

"Well-traveled" is such a dumb expression. It's not a virtue or a character trait.

[Anonymous]

I know a lot of middle aged adults with so so jobs who talk about their rich grandparents. They are waiting for some big inheritance that may or may not be there. Not sure if this is what OP is looking for. Descendants of wealthy people who did not do well for themselves. They are not living in poverty, just middle class or very low UMC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For society in general:

High percentages of young people who can no longer realistically aspire to the American dream of home ownership as their parents did

High levels of student debt

Falling life expectancies

Youngish adults not being able to provide the same advantages in life to their children as their parents did for them.

Oh look, the woe is me young millennial has come out. Wait and she'll turn this into a thread about how awful Boomers are.

[Anonymous]

I think today's equivalent is the divorced first wife (and kids) who wasn't able to hire a good lawyer and was traded in for a younger model and her kids who are now living her former life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just look at online listings in nice neighborhoods. Lots of dilapidated houses in expensive zip codes that look like the family was hanging onto for dear life. Case in point: https://www.redfin.com/MD/Chevy-Chase/204-Oxford-St-20815/home/10651222

This doesn’t look dilapidated to me from the outside but 1.2m for a 3 BR 2 BA seems insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this one! Went to one of the Big 3 DC privates and an Ivy, married a rich guy, was a SAHM, but is now divorced, has a job, and kids are in public school (Bethesda, but still). Way smaller house (Bethesda, but still). Expected to spend her life at the country club, Martha's Vineyard, shopping in NYC, etc. but now probably buys her clothes at Secondi. Has a BMW SUV but it is 10 years old because she can't take on a car payment.

You sound like you’ve given this some thought and sound like a gross, judgmental person. Wait until your shoe drops

Ah, the bitter divorcee is out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just look at online listings in nice neighborhoods. Lots of dilapidated houses in expensive zip codes that look like the family was hanging onto for dear life. Case in point: https://www.redfin.com/MD/Chevy-Chase/204-Oxford-St-20815/home/10651222

That’s not a dilapidated house. The kitchen and bathrooms need updating and other minor things. This isn’t unusual when a widow has been in the house for over 20 years and did not upkeep the house. Or people did not care about updating house or furniture. I have a feeling it was picked over so probably an estate sale.