Signs once wealthy now in genteel poverty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just look at online listings in nice neighborhoods. Lots of dilapidated houses in expensive zip codes that look like the family was hanging onto for dear life. Case in point: https://www.redfin.com/MD/Chevy-Chase/204-Oxford-St-20815/home/10651222

That might be a widow. Same thing with my MIL. Husband did everything and didn’t leave a plan (trusted contractors, etc) and the house became dilapidated.

[Anonymous]

I know this one! Went to one of the Big 3 DC privates and an Ivy, married a rich guy, was a SAHM, but is now divorced, has a job, and kids are in public school (Bethesda, but still). Way smaller house (Bethesda, but still). Expected to spend her life at the country club, Martha's Vineyard, shopping in NYC, etc. but now probably buys her clothes at Secondi. Has a BMW SUV but it is 10 years old because she can't take on a car payment.

[Anonymous]

You can have millions, but if you invest too conservatively, spend too readily, and live too long in retirement, you can end up with little/no money. Retirees generally don’t sufficiently plan for inflation.

As for a story, my BILs father was once a prominent psychiatrist making very good money in the 1980s. The family had a large home in the best metro suburb. He worked, gradually in a diminished capacity, until 70. Yet, after a mid-life divorce and a spendy second wife, he ended up penniless in a local nursing home. The son even paid his father’s taxes about five years before his dad’s death.

[Anonymous]

I'm from the impoverished aristocracy. The back staircase in the family castle has been slowly crumbling for a century but no one's done anything about it, because no one has that kind of money. Plus, my uncle who lives there cares more about his prize-winning horses and hunting hounds.

The solution, as it always is, is to marry a wealthy commoner to inject some cash. I have a Jewish-American ancestor who was willing to cross the Atlantic, live in a pile of stone, get preferential seating in social settings and have a titled attached to her name, in exchange for money (a la Downton Abbey). That sort of thing was not uncommon.

Fortunes wax and wane at every generation. Some my parents' generation are middle class, some are downright poor (on government aid, etc). I married well. My cousins did not, but are doing OK.

When I look at this across hundreds of years of family history, individual outcomes seem quite insignificant. I find it a relief, as in, it's not all on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just look at online listings in nice neighborhoods. Lots of dilapidated houses in expensive zip codes that look like the family was hanging onto for dear life. Case in point: https://www.redfin.com/MD/Chevy-Chase/204-Oxford-St-20815/home/10651222

Looks like a kid or grandkid inherited a house.

[Anonymous]

Some signs...

If they are living in a run down motel located in the town they own, which is their one remaining asset. Nearly always you can see their well-to-do attitudes conflicting with the more provincial town residents. Eventually they do learn to see past their differences and develop close friendships with the locals and even find romantic partners. It can be quite heart-warming to see.

Their children usually appear spoiled, but along with their mother make the best out of the career and social prospects offered in their new home and often really add some pizzazz to the community--literally, since you may see their flashy designer clothes at your local consignment store!

If they seem to be unfamiliar with basic home cooking/baking techniques, aren't sure how tax writeoffs work, or have a tab at the neighborhood eatery this can also be a sign of genteel poverty.

The father in particular can usually leverage the networking skills polished in his former circles and go into business with the big political players in town, like the mayor. In the end the family only becomes stronger for their experience, and everyone figures out just where they belong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some signs...

If they are living in a run down motel located in the town they own, which is their one remaining asset. Nearly always you can see their well-to-do attitudes conflicting with the more provincial town residents. Eventually they do learn to see past their differences and develop close friendships with the locals and even find romantic partners. It can be quite heart-warming to see.

Their children usually appear spoiled, but along with their mother make the best out of the career and social prospects offered in their new home and often really add some pizzazz to the community--literally, since you may see their flashy designer clothes at your local consignment store!

If they seem to be unfamiliar with basic home cooking/baking techniques, aren't sure how tax writeoffs work, or have a tab at the neighborhood eatery this can also be a sign of genteel poverty.

The father in particular can usually leverage the networking skills polished in his former circles and go into business with the big political players in town, like the mayor. In the end the family only becomes stronger for their experience, and everyone figures out just where they belong.

This sounds a little bit....something

[Anonymous]

My grandfather used to ride a white horse with ribbons tied to it through town. Now the ribbons are tattered, and the horse is gray.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to post too many details because of privacy, but I worked with a woman who was from a once very wealthy family and the granddaughter or great granddaughter of a famous rabbi. Two generations of the family were ravaged by severe mental illness and the wealth was lost. They still had houses and stuff, but her generation had to marry well or work. She would talk about all of the china and table silver she had in the same conversation that she complained about our hours being cut.

I know a family like this and they only marry those with their same last name. Led to a lot of congenital issues and dwindling of fortunes

[Anonymous]

you mean like Cohen? that is weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just look at online listings in nice neighborhoods. Lots of dilapidated houses in expensive zip codes that look like the family was hanging onto for dear life. Case in point: https://www.redfin.com/MD/Chevy-Chase/204-Oxford-St-20815/home/10651222

These homes will become teardowns. I’m
Not surprised the owners don’t put money into them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at online listings in nice neighborhoods. Lots of dilapidated houses in expensive zip codes that look like the family was hanging onto for dear life. Case in point: https://www.redfin.com/MD/Chevy-Chase/204-Oxford-St-20815/home/10651222

These homes will become teardowns. I’m
Not surprised the owners don’t put money into them.

I can understand that it's not fancy and could get torn down but it just looks like:

1) It was inherited/lived in really recently by someone who didn't have much furniture (grandkid seems likely) because there's almost nothing on the walls.

2) It was really freshly-painted white in almost all rooms. Maybe they stripped wallpaper...?

3) It was staged for photos by removing all personal effects. With 1 and 2, that gives it the weird vibe.

I like this kind of house. Decorates up very nicely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My more important question is: why is DCUM so endlessly obsessed with class and status???

The American middle class is said to be obsessed with the fear of falling to lower status again.

Also, people who like social media are naturally inquisitive.

Humans are social creatures and like to understand their place in the social order and to ponder ways to improve it.

Go watch some primate documentaries.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=meiU6TxysCg

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this one! Went to one of the Big 3 DC privates and an Ivy, married a rich guy, was a SAHM, but is now divorced, has a job, and kids are in public school (Bethesda, but still). Way smaller house (Bethesda, but still). Expected to spend her life at the country club, Martha's Vineyard, shopping in NYC, etc. but now probably buys her clothes at Secondi. Has a BMW SUV but it is 10 years old because she can't take on a car payment.

You are a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My more important question is: why is DCUM so endlessly obsessed with class and status???

Of course YOUR questions is MORE IMPORTANT than everyone else’s. Lemme guess - millennial?