Son asked me if I work odd hours to avoid him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have two children and I work odd hours part-time so I can take care of my younger son who isn't in school yet. I like the flexibility it gives me. Keep in mind in the summer months I am a sahm for 5 out of 7 days. I take them to the pool, playground, etc PT works best for me as DH isn't hands-on at all with any of the housework and other kid stuff. I work (3) 8-hour shifts per week. I work two shifts on Saturday so I only see them for maybe an hour on Saturday morning. Then I go in half of the day on Sunday I.e. 8-4 pm or 4-11 pm shift. I still have Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, and Friday with my 7-year-old. We have one hour before school 7:45 am -8:45 am and then 4:30-8 pm so 4.5 hours on all five days. I am feeling mom guilt because my job isn't high-paying as a part-time social worker but it does help supplement things. I also enjoy my work.

Is there just a slight element of truth to it?

Who cares? She needs to work and weekends allow them not to pay for childcare. A lot of families have no choice. It's most likely temporary until the older child goes to school most of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d just say those hours are when your job needs you, and remind him that the work is important and you are helping people etc.

TBH sometimes kid just say things like this without thinking, and don’t mean it the way you think. IMO. Unless this has been an ongoing issue (brought up several times or signs he genuinely feels he doesn’t have enough time with you)- I’d leave it at that.

When my kids were that age, they were jealous of the kids who went to school aftercare. It hurt my feelings at the time LOL (they don’t like spending time with me?!) but it wasn’t exactly a deep thought on their end- really it was just that aftercare seemed fun and had better snacks. haha.

This - I would not read that much into it. Hard I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d just say those hours are when your job needs you, and remind him that the work is important and you are helping people etc.

TBH sometimes kid just say things like this without thinking, and don’t mean it the way you think. IMO. Unless this has been an ongoing issue (brought up several times or signs he genuinely feels he doesn’t have enough time with you)- I’d leave it at that.

When my kids were that age, they were jealous of the kids who went to school aftercare. It hurt my feelings at the time LOL (they don’t like spending time with me?!) but it wasn’t exactly a deep thought on their end- really it was just that aftercare seemed fun and had better snacks. haha.

This - I would not read that much into it. Hard I know.

NP. I mostly agree with this too. That being said, it couldn't hurt to maybe work in some special and fun one-on-one time with your 7 year old, right? Like maybe Friday evenings just the two of you go out for dinner and ice cream. Or do a fun activity? Can you squeeze in dinner with him on Sunday between shifts?

And how does bedtime look? Sounds like you do spend plenty of time with your 3 yr old during the week, so let DH handle his bedtime, while you read and spend extra time with 7 year old, just the two of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d just say those hours are when your job needs you, and remind him that the work is important and you are helping people etc.

TBH sometimes kid just say things like this without thinking, and don’t mean it the way you think. IMO. Unless this has been an ongoing issue (brought up several times or signs he genuinely feels he doesn’t have enough time with you)- I’d leave it at that.

When my kids were that age, they were jealous of the kids who went to school aftercare. It hurt my feelings at the time LOL (they don’t like spending time with me?!) but it wasn’t exactly a deep thought on their end- really it was just that aftercare seemed fun and had better snacks. haha.

This - I would not read that much into it. Hard I know.

NP. I mostly agree with this too. That being said, it couldn't hurt to maybe work in some special and fun one-on-one time with your 7 year old, right? Like maybe Friday evenings just the two of you go out for dinner and ice cream. Or do a fun activity? Can you squeeze in dinner with him on Sunday between shifts?

And how does bedtime look? Sounds like you do spend plenty of time with your 3 yr old during the week, so let DH handle his bedtime, while you read and spend extra time with 7 year old, just the two of you.

She's most likely a nurse or something. No, they can't go home and come back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d just say those hours are when your job needs you, and remind him that the work is important and you are helping people etc.

TBH sometimes kid just say things like this without thinking, and don’t mean it the way you think. IMO. Unless this has been an ongoing issue (brought up several times or signs he genuinely feels he doesn’t have enough time with you)- I’d leave it at that.

When my kids were that age, they were jealous of the kids who went to school aftercare. It hurt my feelings at the time LOL (they don’t like spending time with me?!) but it wasn’t exactly a deep thought on their end- really it was just that aftercare seemed fun and had better snacks. haha.

This - I would not read that much into it. Hard I know.

NP. I mostly agree with this too. That being said, it couldn't hurt to maybe work in some special and fun one-on-one time with your 7 year old, right? Like maybe Friday evenings just the two of you go out for dinner and ice cream. Or do a fun activity? Can you squeeze in dinner with him on Sunday between shifts?

And how does bedtime look? Sounds like you do spend plenty of time with your 3 yr old during the week, so let DH handle his bedtime, while you read and spend extra time with 7 year old, just the two of you.

She's most likely a nurse or something. No, they can't go home and come back.

Yeah, I figured, I just threw that in there on the off chance... A Friday evening one-on-one activity/time might be really nice, though.

I totally understand why this works overall for your family, and having a parent who works weekends is not the end of the world by any means. But I will say that the weekend is when I get my "quality time" with my ES kid, even though I flex hours so I'm home most all of weekday afternoons. There is just so much going on then...getting to activities, getting dinner on the table, cleaning up, bedtime blah blah. Just find some time to spend with your son, OP, that is slow and chill and you are just hanging out and enjoying being together.