Is No Social Media a Red Flag?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I’d say it’s a gigantic green flag. I don’t do social media either - neither does my husband.


+1 and neither does our 15yo DS
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Daily DCUM “get out of your bubble” PSA:

No, most adults do NOT have/maintain a LinkedIn account. And it’s ridiculous to assume that they do (or should).


Most people in DCUM land and the people we associate with in person do, so the standards of those in the bubble is actually relevant here.

And come to think of it, I am from a very rural town in the west where most people barely graduated from high school and everybody I know from home who has a white collar job has linkedin.


LOL. In DC you are absolutely SURROUNDED with professionals who do not use LinkedIn. Use your brain.


+1 (I am from a rural area but not dumb like you…many professionals in DC are not on LinkedIn.)


I did some googling (with my apparently dumb brain that I don't use) and 220 million people on LinkedIn are from the US. The population of the United States is 330 million. But maybe you guys are right and the DC area just happens to have a much smaller ratio of people using linkedin!


NP. There’s no way that there are 220 million individual US accounts on LinkedIn.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Daily DCUM “get out of your bubble” PSA:

No, most adults do NOT have/maintain a LinkedIn account. And it’s ridiculous to assume that they do (or should).


Most people in DCUM land and the people we associate with in person do, so the standards of those in the bubble is actually relevant here.

And come to think of it, I am from a very rural town in the west where most people barely graduated from high school and everybody I know from home who has a white collar job has linkedin.


LOL. In DC you are absolutely SURROUNDED with professionals who do not use LinkedIn. Use your brain.


+1 (I am from a rural area but not dumb like you…many professionals in DC are not on LinkedIn.)


I did some googling (with my apparently dumb brain that I don't use) and 220 million people on LinkedIn are from the US. The population of the United States is 330 million. But maybe you guys are right and the DC area just happens to have a much smaller ratio of people using linkedin!


NP. There’s no way that there are 220 million individual US accounts on LinkedIn.


Exactly. That would require literally EVERY working age adult in the US to have a linkedin account PLUS about 20 million non-working age folks.

(But let’s be real, these PP’s who INSIST that there is NOT a significant percentage of professionals in the DC area with zero social media presence are obviously not intelligent enough to put two and two together…)
Anonymous
It can be. But can also be a green flag. Hard to say out of context.

I dated someone with no social. He also has no online presence at all. It was an ex-boyfriend who I reacquainted with so I knew he was who he said he was. But 20 years later he had no friends, was a workaholic and paranoid about weird things like social media and staying at Airbnbs due to hidden cameras. Who knows.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Is it weird for someone not to be on social media? My friends introduced me to this really funny, good looking guy over the weekend. We hit it off, had great conversation and exchanged numbers. We’ve been texting, but when I look him up on social media there is nothing - no Facebook, no LinkedIn, no Instagram. Is this a red flag?


I'm not on social media, so I don't think it's a red flag. Quite honestly, I can't imagine that I would be interested in anyone who is on social media. So if you're very into it and he isn't at all, you're probably not long-term compatible.
Anonymous
Depends on whether your friends can vouch for this guy. Sometimes people claim they have no social media because they are hiding their lives (married etc)
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Daily DCUM “get out of your bubble” PSA:

No, most adults do NOT have/maintain a LinkedIn account. And it’s ridiculous to assume that they do (or should).


Most people in DCUM land and the people we associate with in person do, so the standards of those in the bubble is actually relevant here.

And come to think of it, I am from a very rural town in the west where most people barely graduated from high school and everybody I know from home who has a white collar job has linkedin.


LOL. In DC you are absolutely SURROUNDED with professionals who do not use LinkedIn. Use your brain.


+1 (I am from a rural area but not dumb like you…many professionals in DC are not on LinkedIn.)


I did some googling (with my apparently dumb brain that I don't use) and 220 million people on LinkedIn are from the US. The population of the United States is 330 million. But maybe you guys are right and the DC area just happens to have a much smaller ratio of people using linkedin!


NP. There’s no way that there are 220 million individual US accounts on LinkedIn.


PP here, and yes, that is true. But even if it's half that, that is still a hell of a lot of people and it's highly unlikely that in DC we are surrounded by people who don't have linkedin.

and going back to the OP, a lot of people who don't have Linkedin have some other social media presence. Having social media is so common that it has become the norm and almost everyone who doesn't use it abstains for a particular reason like valuing privacy or for their job. So it makes sense for someone to wonder why someone isn't online at all. I think it is more common for a man like the one OP mentions to be lying about their identity than it is for them to have zero internet presence. And I wouldn't yet give him too many kudos for not having social media; there are people who have throway accounts just so they can make creepy comments on the posts of instagram models. You don't know someone until you know someone.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is it weird for someone not to be on social media? My friends introduced me to this really funny, good looking guy over the weekend. We hit it off, had great conversation and exchanged numbers. We’ve been texting, but when I look him up on social media there is nothing - no Facebook, no LinkedIn, no Instagram. Is this a red flag?


I'm not on social media, so I don't think it's a red flag. Quite honestly, I can't imagine that I would be interested in anyone who is on social media. So if you're very into it and he isn't at all, you're probably not long-term compatible.


I honestly can't get over people who post on this website, which often tends to be a dumpster fire, but feel superior to those who have instagram.
Anonymous
Personally, I think it’s an unusual. Most people have some type of presence on social media even if they don’t use it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Is it weird for someone not to be on social media? My friends introduced me to this really funny, good looking guy over the weekend. We hit it off, had great conversation and exchanged numbers. We’ve been texting, but when I look him up on social media there is nothing - no Facebook, no LinkedIn, no Instagram. Is this a red flag?



This is a giant plus - he might be able to save you from yourself... if you can only figure out how to get out of the way of yourself. Good luck!
Anonymous
so you are already not trusting him by snooping around and googling him?

Nice, this will go well.
Anonymous

Being too valuable for social media is smart marketing.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:so you are already not trusting him by snooping around and googling him?

Nice, this will go well.


Any woman with an ounce of common sense and concern for her safety will google a man she is going on a date with.
Anonymous
Most likely it’s a plus— he likely values privacy and being present when spending time with friends and family.

There’s a chance he’s hiding something, but I wouldn’t automatically assume this. Lots of people, especially in DMV, have no online presence due to the nature of their work. As you get to know him better, just ask.

My DH only had Facebook when it first started, and deleted his account after college. I got rid of all of mine a few years ago. I meet more people all the time who no longer use social media.
Anonymous
Green flag all the way!
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