I got asked if I was a senior. AGAIN.

[Anonymous]

At forty-six, I seriously DOUBT that you could look 62 or 65 w/out tanning, smoking or not coloring your hair.

But I would ask people close to me if I did look old(er,) preferably people who will not be afraid to offend me.

Ouch I can imagine your self-esteem may take a hit but focus on the fact that you are getting $$ off stuff!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg I’m sorry. I read the title and thought you meant a senior in high school or college and I was about to come in and snark on you for being one of those women who is convinced they look 20 years younger than they are.

You don’t look like a senior citizen!!! People are just plain stupid and not observant, and sometimes just say things without thinking.

I’m 32, and genuinely a bit young looking with a round full face and no wrinkles due to getting little sun exposure as a child in an arctic climate. I was out for dinner with my dad (76) brother and sister-in-law (~55) and my niece (22) and the 20s server thought I was married to my dad and my niece’s GRANDMA. I’m not joking or exaggerating. He turned to us and said “so this must be grandma and grandpa!” It was horrifying, but I know it mostly just him using context clues and poor logic to come to that conclusion and not really taking in my actual appearance. And I have naturally blonde hair that to a young guy probably looks like the color women highlight it to cover grays at first glance. I am sure that’s the same situation here with you.

I too have experienced the trauma of being mistaken for my dad’s wife. I would rather be asked if I wanted the senior discount vs. that happening again 🤮

Another one here. But you should've seen my dad's beaming expression. He took it as if they assumed he looks 35, not me looking 70))

[Anonymous]

Some women and maybe even most look their age give or take a few years- they can look good for their age by being fit and making savvy hair style and fashion choices, but most won’t actually look any younger. I know there are outliers and women of color typically age better, but I can’t count the number of White women who have declared to me, “I am 57 or whatever age” in a can-you-believe it sort of way. Clearly, they expect to elicit the “You would never know it, you look much younger” response. I used to work in a clothing boutique and some women actively solicit this sort of stuff and truly believe everyone tells them how much younger they look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had something ask if I was my friend's mother. I think she was 35 at the time and I was maybe 50? yeah that wasn't fun.

Well, to be fair, a 50 year old can biologically be a parent to a 35 y.o.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, people are jerks, you ran into two of them. It’s rude to ask a woman her age. That’s what these clerks did. Even if you look like you’re 70, they shouldn’t ask you about the senior discount. It’s up to you to bring it up if you want to. Don’t take it personally!

Never trust anyone under 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Some women and maybe even most look their age give or take a few years- they can look good for their age by being fit and making savvy hair style and fashion choices, but most won’t actually look any younger. I know there are outliers and women of color typically age better, but I can’t count the number of White women who have declared to me, “I am 57 or whatever age” in a can-you-believe it sort of way. Clearly, they expect to elicit the “You would never know it, you look much younger” response. I used to work in a clothing boutique and some women actively solicit this sort of stuff and truly believe everyone tells them how much younger they look.

I wholeheartedly agree, except that I’d extend that to men and women of all races. While there is the very, very occasional person who makes me think that “Black don’t crack,” most people look decidedly their age.

Also, the reason those women are soliciting compliments is because they are getting them. It’s phony, I know, but people are always telling me I look so much younger than I am (without any encouragement on my part). If I were less self aware and realistic, I would let it go to my head. It’s hard for it not to and aging is tough enough so people want to pretend they look younger when kinder people offer little white lies.

But yes, with minuscule exceptions, we all look our age.

[Anonymous]

Discounts are good right!

[Anonymous]

If I could get a discount based on how I look NGL I would lol ND I'd use it every time NFG.

[Anonymous]

When I was in my 20's anyone over the age of 45 was "senior" to me, it's just our perspective at that age. It's not you OP, it's them. But also I would be mortified if someone offered me a senior discount which is why I refuse to try to take advantage of the "senior hours" at Costco. No way Jose. I'll wait to go in at 10am with the rest of the teenagers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s random, like when 46 year olds get carded. No one actually thinks they’re under 21.

I was going to post the same thing. I'm 46 in a few days and have gotten carded once or twice since turning 40. I am under no illusion that I look under 21, but I do get a chuckle out of it.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. I am a few years older than you, have some gray hairs, don't wear makeup, and have never been asked if I'm a senior. I would be pretty upset if that happened. Despite best intentions to age gracefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 46. This ... is the second time in a year that this has happened. First time at a hair salon where apparently they have a discount for seniors on the day of the week I was there. Yesterday it happened again. I was checking out at a store and the cashier asked if I was a senior. I said yes to see what happened - I got 10% off each item.

Maybe I DO look a decade older than I am? I don't walk with a limp or a cane or anything. A week ago I got my hair dyed so it's a chestnut brown without any gray, parted in the middle just past my shoulders - it's not like an old lady pouf hairdo. I was wearing jeans from Nordstrom Rack and a solid-colored v-neck t-shirt with sneakers. I'm not gaunt or anything. I'm not wrinkly. I've never smoked, tanned and on an average day drink about two liters of water.

If it had just been that one guy I'd chalk it up to him just being horrible at guessing people's ages. Now it's a second person. So maybe ... could I look 55 even though I'm 46? (And yes, I know it's 62 or 65, but for discounts in restaurants it's often 55 so I'm guessing both people meant they thought I might be that age because surely there's no way I look 65, right?)

OP - you are the victim of an ageist micro-aggression. Twice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At forty-six, I seriously DOUBT that you could look 62 or 65 w/out tanning, smoking or not coloring your hair.

But I would ask people close to me if I did look old(er,) preferably people who will not be afraid to offend me.

Ouch I can imagine your self-esteem may take a hit but focus on the fact that you are getting $$ off stuff!!!

But why? Even if she does, how would this feedback help her look younger?

OP, it's most probably not about your looks.

I knew a couple, both in their 30s. When buying movie tickets, they'd ask for one student and one senior and were never turned down.

Maybe 5 seniors came before you, and you automatically offered a discount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god. That’s awful. Were you wearing makeup?

No, I've never worn makeup. Maybe this is the problem?

Yes, this is the problem. Your face loses color and vibrancy as you age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got asked this question one month after I turned 60. (I've got 2 kids in HS) But I was happy with the 10% grocery discount.

which stores provide that?

Harris Teeter, on Thursday.

I accepted my senior discount from the high school age cashier when I was 45, ha.

Anyone over 40 look ancient to people in their 20s and under.

Thank you. Alas I don't have a H-T near me. Any other markets offer this discount?