18-year-old DS wants to drop out

[Anonymous]

I have no shame, I would call his boss and ask him nicely if he could make the job offer contingent on his getting a high school diploma by May.

That's pretty shameless. Parents should not be calling their childrens' bosses, particularly when said children are adults.

More importantly, the offer has already been made. Only a terrible person would take that back and make it contingent upon something else.

OP: he's an adult. You can't do anything about this. The best that you can do at this point is try to encourage him to stay in school. Regardless of what happens, you should be happy that you have raised someone with marketable skills who will have no trouble being self-sufficient in the future. Lots of parents can't say that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now think of all the redshirted kids who will be 19 and 20 year old HS seniors and want to quit but the parents won't be able to stop them. It's coming. Ironic, since parents thought starting kids later in school would hive them such head start. They didn't think about the other end of K-12, only kindergarten.

My kid turned 18 earlier this month. He was 5 when he started kindergarten. Plenty of HS seniors are 18. Don’t know a single one that has been 20.

Ha very true. My kid started a year later than they were “allowed to” per our state law and was 18 when he graduated. You really don’t see 20 year olds in high school PP.

My friend's kid will be 19 when he graduates which is kind of odd to me. Red shirted and then held back.

19 is pretty normal, IMO. My kid with a December bday will be 19 when she graduates high school. 19 is common but 20 is rare IME.

But you had to red shirt or hold back right? I have one kid with an Oct bday and one with July. The October kid just missed the cut off and will turn 18 October of his senior year. My other kid will turn 18 a month after graduation. So isn't the only way you get to 19 is holding a kid back or red shirting a late bday kid? If I red shirted my July kid than he would still only turn 19 in July after graduation. If I red shirted my other kid he would turn 19 in October of his senior year (but then would have been turning 7 in Kinder)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He started working summers and weekends as a carpenters apprentice the summer before his junior year. His skills have improved and his boss offered him full time hours. Even working weekends he’s making a really good hourly wage and I think he’s enticed with that tripling if he were to be available full-time.

We are honestly fine with him not going to college and pursuing this after graduation. However, we are adamant he needs to graduate and it makes more sense to just finish out the year. The job will be available in 6 months.

He’s fighting us on it and we realize we can do very little to stop him. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

What do you mean “very little to stop him”? You’re the parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:JUST SAY NO. As long as he lives in your house, eats your food, drives your car - he goes to high school.

Sounds like a great way to force him to move out and destroy your relationship with your son at the same time.

Coddler. The parent is right in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would move mountains to convince him (obv you can’t force) to finish high school. Including calling his boss, but I’m kind of shocked his boss wouldn’t care if he finished high school or not. It doesn’t sound like he is a good boss and definitely doesn’t have his best interests in mind- forget best, but just general interest. Surely he knows that finishing high school is a necessity

Why do you think his boss would give AF about this kid? The boss has a reliable worker and wants that reliable worker to be available for more jobs to generate more revenue for the business. He wants that money now, not in May. In fact, it is probably better for the boss if this kid has less career mobility because that means he will be stuck with boss and will have less ability to bargain for higher compensation in the future.

Any decent human being wouldn’t encourage a kid to drop out of high school.

[Anonymous]

He may only need English 12 to graduate.
Have you checked?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would move mountains to convince him (obv you can’t force) to finish high school. Including calling his boss, but I’m kind of shocked his boss wouldn’t care if he finished high school or not. It doesn’t sound like he is a good boss and definitely doesn’t have his best interests in mind- forget best, but just general interest. Surely he knows that finishing high school is a necessity

Why do you think his boss would give AF about this kid? The boss has a reliable worker and wants that reliable worker to be available for more jobs to generate more revenue for the business. He wants that money now, not in May. In fact, it is probably better for the boss if this kid has less career mobility because that means he will be stuck with boss and will have less ability to bargain for higher compensation in the future.

Any decent human being wouldn’t encourage a kid to drop out of high school.

PP here and while I agree with you most people are only thinking about what's good for them as evidenced by the employer incentivizing the kid to drop out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now think of all the redshirted kids who will be 19 and 20 year old HS seniors and want to quit but the parents won't be able to stop them. It's coming. Ironic, since parents thought starting kids later in school would hive them such head start. They didn't think about the other end of K-12, only kindergarten.

Irrelevant. My on time kid will turn 18 half way through senior year. If they want to drop out, I can't stop them. Does it really matter if that senior is 19 instead?

But maybe your claim is that the 19yo could also drop out junior year when they turn 18. But a high school drop out is a high school drop out, painted with the same brush.

[Anonymous]

If you can, I would pay him to stay in school.

[Anonymous]

OP, you tell your son that he needs to finish high school. If he doesn't want to finish high school then he cannot live in your home. Its that simple. He wants the money now because he has no expenses. If he had to support himself/family he'd being singing a different tune. I would not call his boss. The boss doesn't have a vested in interest in your child he's looking out for his business.
If it were me. I'd find out what my child's plan was. Lay out exactly how much support I'm willing to provide and let them know that if it doesn't work out they can always come home.

[Anonymous]

I’d explain it to him that this guy may hire him without a diploma but most other carpentry jobs will require it. Especially if he ever wants a union job, which he should want as then he will get over $35 plus pension plus healthcare. Have him do some research about other carpentry positions that are posted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him that $35/hr is only good money if he doesn't have to pay for rent, utilities, insurance, etc. None of which he has to pay while in high school.

That worked with my brother when he went through this phase in high school. He worked construction with his friend's dad and made a lot of money one summer. When my parents sat him down and did a budget of what he'd need to use that good paycheck on, it wasn't quite as enticing as it is as an 18 year old with no obligations/responsibilities.

35 x 40 x 52 is 72,000 if he works 'full time'. Right out of high school that is excellent and will likely be much higher at 22 (avg age of college grad). But yes, the HS degree is important. He will regret not doing it later.

[Anonymous]

Jesus was a carpenter. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

I agree with offering him an incentive to finish - money, a car, a trip - whatever would get him to stick it out. I don't think cutting off financial support would work because he could support himself now with no high school. It may be a lower standard of living then he is used to, but being 18 and living on your own (or with roommates) could also be be very enticing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I nearly dropped out, but by the time I turned 16 and was old enough to, I had already gone more than halfway through high school. It was hell, and I didn't want it to be for nothing, which it would be. Plus, you never know where life will take you, especially with a physical job, so having even the tiniest sliver of an education to slap on a resume is important.

He's literally got what - seven months left of school? Tell him to suck it up and finish. He can work full time when school is on break for the holidays, Presidents Day week, spring break, etc. Then once he graduates he can work full time to his heart's content.

And his boss is a real jerk to offer this now - he should have said your son has a full time job offer waiting for him contingent ONLY upon HS graduation.

I agree on all fronts.

I think his boss really values our son and wants to keep him longterm. He’s told us many times he’s his best and most dedicated employee. Our kid is a really hard worker and we understand academics aren’t his thing but we do think a HS diploma is bare minimum.

Actually the boss sounds like a scum bag who clearly cares about his company more than your son. I would be adamant about your son finishing. He is getting terrible advice from his boss who is probably filling his ears with dreams. School first, then he can work full time for this guy.