Quiet kids as table buffers for louder kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the issue is a teaching style in the early grades that is not appropriate for a lot of kids and a teaching workforce for early elementary that is dominated by women who don't have a clue how to engage a different type of personality beyond the quiet and well-behaved girl who can sit for long stretches stereotype.

BTW, I say this as a parent of a boy who could sit and do all the things any teacher ever wanted and was quiet and a girl who was chatty and had trouble sitting still for long periods when she was younger.

They are both thriving in high school and no she does not have ADHD and she is not a "troublemaker". Did her energy and chattiness annoy some teachers who were kind of lazy and boring and didn't seem to actually like children? Sure. The label troublemaker is terrible and you all who are saying that kind of suck.

We're not talking about your DD's type if she was not labeled a troublemaker. These parents are well aware of their kids' issues. One of these kids can disrupt an entire class.

She was labeled a trouble maker by some teachers! And clearly by some on this thread she would be too. Some want kids to just shut up and sit there.

A life long skill. Huh.

If someone is disruptive at woprk, they get phased out of the projects and teams, and before long, the company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides of this.

As a teacher, yes I always did this.

As a parent I have been annoyed as my child has been used as a buffer child consistently.

I am not sure what you think the alternative is though?

I have the kid who won't stop talking and I ask that she not be put near people she would prefer to talk to. Keeps her quiet, she won't bug her neighbor, and everyone can focus on their work better. Why does this bother the "buffer"? They weren't going to misbehave or talk either way so the end result is the same for them. But now the classroom has less chatter.

Did it occur to you to teach your kid how to behave in a classroom setting?

Well, she has ADHD, so how could I "teach" her to do that?

Proper medication.

Gee whiz. If it only it made her shut up and never talk. She already has preferential seating nearest the teacher with other kids like her. We're doing our best. Sorry your goody two shoes has to be inconvenienced once in awhile.

Great attitude for productive, healthy parenting, here folks? Wow. And you see why parents have their kid moved away from this kid.

Maybe the parents of kids who want to get work done will have your kid sit by themselves, so they have no one to disrupt. With her attitude, it seems inevitable.

Got it, troll. Do you even have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides of this.

As a teacher, yes I always did this.

As a parent I have been annoyed as my child has been used as a buffer child consistently.

I am not sure what you think the alternative is though?

I have the kid who won't stop talking and I ask that she not be put near people she would prefer to talk to. Keeps her quiet, she won't bug her neighbor, and everyone can focus on their work better. Why does this bother the "buffer"? They weren't going to misbehave or talk either way so the end result is the same for them. But now the classroom has less chatter.

Did it occur to you to teach your kid how to behave in a classroom setting?

Well, she has ADHD, so how could I "teach" her to do that?

Proper medication.

Gee whiz. If it only it made her shut up and never talk. She already has preferential seating nearest the teacher with other kids like her. We're doing our best. Sorry your goody two shoes has to be inconvenienced once in awhile.

Great attitude for productive, healthy parenting, here folks? Wow. And you see why parents have their kid moved away from this kid.

Maybe the parents of kids who want to get work done will have your kid sit by themselves, so they have no one to disrupt. With her attitude, it seems inevitable.

Got it, troll. Do you even have kids?

So anyone who doesn't agree with you is a "troll"?

You feel no obligation to give your child life skills? And subject the rest of the class room to disruptions? It is not one kids' classroom, it is a classroom of many kids, who are there to learn, not babysit and clean up after you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides of this.

As a teacher, yes I always did this.

As a parent I have been annoyed as my child has been used as a buffer child consistently.

I am not sure what you think the alternative is though?

I have the kid who won't stop talking and I ask that she not be put near people she would prefer to talk to. Keeps her quiet, she won't bug her neighbor, and everyone can focus on their work better. Why does this bother the "buffer"? They weren't going to misbehave or talk either way so the end result is the same for them. But now the classroom has less chatter.

Did it occur to you to teach your kid how to behave in a classroom setting?

Well, she has ADHD, so how could I "teach" her to do that?

Proper medication.

Gee whiz. If it only it made her shut up and never talk. She already has preferential seating nearest the teacher with other kids like her. We're doing our best. Sorry your goody two shoes has to be inconvenienced once in awhile.

So for those asking, this sounds like one alternative for teachers- put all the kids that talk a lot nearest teacher. That makes more sense to me with idea teacher can have eyes on them v splitting them around room, but admittedly not a teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides of this.

As a teacher, yes I always did this.

As a parent I have been annoyed as my child has been used as a buffer child consistently.

I am not sure what you think the alternative is though?

I have the kid who won't stop talking and I ask that she not be put near people she would prefer to talk to. Keeps her quiet, she won't bug her neighbor, and everyone can focus on their work better. Why does this bother the "buffer"? They weren't going to misbehave or talk either way so the end result is the same for them. But now the classroom has less chatter.

Did it occur to you to teach your kid how to behave in a classroom setting?

Well, she has ADHD, so how could I "teach" her to do that?

Proper medication.

Gee whiz. If it only it made her shut up and never talk. She already has preferential seating nearest the teacher with other kids like her. We're doing our best. Sorry your goody two shoes has to be inconvenienced once in awhile.

So for those asking, this sounds like one alternative for teachers- put all the kids that talk a lot nearest teacher. That makes more sense to me with idea teacher can have eyes on them v splitting them around room, but admittedly not a teacher.

+1
And by themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides of this.

As a teacher, yes I always did this.

As a parent I have been annoyed as my child has been used as a buffer child consistently.

I am not sure what you think the alternative is though?

I have the kid who won't stop talking and I ask that she not be put near people she would prefer to talk to. Keeps her quiet, she won't bug her neighbor, and everyone can focus on their work better. Why does this bother the "buffer"? They weren't going to misbehave or talk either way so the end result is the same for them. But now the classroom has less chatter.

Did it occur to you to teach your kid how to behave in a classroom setting?

Well, she has ADHD, so how could I "teach" her to do that?

Proper medication.

Gee whiz. If it only it made her shut up and never talk. She already has preferential seating nearest the teacher with other kids like her. We're doing our best. Sorry your goody two shoes has to be inconvenienced once in awhile.

So for those asking, this sounds like one alternative for teachers- put all the kids that talk a lot nearest teacher. That makes more sense to me with idea teacher can have eyes on them v splitting them around room, but admittedly not a teacher.

In the modern classroom there is no “nearest the teacher”. We move. A lot. Small groups meet with teachers while other kids are expected to remain on task elsewhere. Sometimes the lesson is up front on the board, but sometimes it’s walking around teaching from individual desk groups.

And when I have a class of 32 and 7 have “preferential seating away from door and near point of instruction”, it’s physically impossible to accommodate all 7, even if I taught solely from the front of the room 100% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides of this.

As a teacher, yes I always did this.

As a parent I have been annoyed as my child has been used as a buffer child consistently.

I am not sure what you think the alternative is though?

I have the kid who won't stop talking and I ask that she not be put near people she would prefer to talk to. Keeps her quiet, she won't bug her neighbor, and everyone can focus on their work better. Why does this bother the "buffer"? They weren't going to misbehave or talk either way so the end result is the same for them. But now the classroom has less chatter.

Did it occur to you to teach your kid how to behave in a classroom setting?

Well, she has ADHD, so how could I "teach" her to do that?

Proper medication.

Gee whiz. If it only it made her shut up and never talk. She already has preferential seating nearest the teacher with other kids like her. We're doing our best. Sorry your goody two shoes has to be inconvenienced once in awhile.

So for those asking, this sounds like one alternative for teachers- put all the kids that talk a lot nearest teacher. That makes more sense to me with idea teacher can have eyes on them v splitting them around room, but admittedly not a teacher.

In the modern classroom there is no “nearest the teacher”. We move. A lot. Small groups meet with teachers while other kids are expected to remain on task elsewhere. Sometimes the lesson is up front on the board, but sometimes it’s walking around teaching from individual desk groups.

And when I have a class of 32 and 7 have “preferential seating away from door and near point of instruction”, it’s physically impossible to accommodate all 7, even if I taught solely from the front of the room 100% of the time.

Are you talking ES or HS classes too? In either case, makes sense that if 1/4 or 1/2 or all of class wants nearest teacher or teacher want certain kids near, run out of space to accommodate all.

[Anonymous]

HS teacher here. I stopped assigning groups and seats a lot time ago. There are way too many seat requests, accommodations and then parent emails for any configuration. They can pick their seats and I limit group projects. I prefer the kids who talk sit together. When apart, they still talk and either talk across the room or talk to whoever is near them. If it’s too loud, I politely ask them to take their conversation in the hall to continue talking while the rest of us are working, so we can concentrate. This stops it 99.9% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the issue is a teaching style in the early grades that is not appropriate for a lot of kids and a teaching workforce for early elementary that is dominated by women who don't have a clue how to engage a different type of personality beyond the quiet and well-behaved girl who can sit for long stretches stereotype.

BTW, I say this as a parent of a boy who could sit and do all the things any teacher ever wanted and was quiet and a girl who was chatty and had trouble sitting still for long periods when she was younger.

They are both thriving in high school and no she does not have ADHD and she is not a "troublemaker". Did her energy and chattiness annoy some teachers who were kind of lazy and boring and didn't seem to actually like children? Sure. The label troublemaker is terrible and you all who are saying that kind of suck.

We're not talking about your DD's type if she was not labeled a troublemaker. These parents are well aware of their kids' issues. One of these kids can disrupt an entire class.

She was labeled a trouble maker by some teachers! And clearly by some on this thread she would be too. Some want kids to just shut up and sit there.

A life long skill. Huh.

If someone is disruptive at woprk, they get phased out of the projects and teams, and before long, the company.

What kind of work do you do?
This isn’t my experience at work at all. The people who are talkative, outgoing, and personable tend to do fine.
I’ve never seen anyone phased out for being disruptive.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand the complaint. The loud kids going to be distracting no matter where they sit. It seems like evenly distributing them in class is best for everyone. Your child needs to learn to focus on their own work no matter what is going on around them. They will also have to work with/among loud annoying people as adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HS teacher here. I stopped assigning groups and seats a lot time ago. There are way too many seat requests, accommodations and then parent emails for any configuration. They can pick their seats and I limit group projects. I prefer the kids who talk sit together. When apart, they still talk and either talk across the room or talk to whoever is near them. If it’s too loud, I politely ask them to take their conversation in the hall to continue talking while the rest of us are working, so we can concentrate. This stops it 99.9% of the time.

What about kids in the class that don’t have any friends to do group projects with in the class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides of this.

As a teacher, yes I always did this.

As a parent I have been annoyed as my child has been used as a buffer child consistently.

I am not sure what you think the alternative is though?

I have the kid who won't stop talking and I ask that she not be put near people she would prefer to talk to. Keeps her quiet, she won't bug her neighbor, and everyone can focus on their work better. Why does this bother the "buffer"? They weren't going to misbehave or talk either way so the end result is the same for them. But now the classroom has less chatter.

Did it occur to you to teach your kid how to behave in a classroom setting?

Well, she has ADHD, so how could I "teach" her to do that?

Proper medication.

Why not give your kid anxiety medication if they can’t handle sitting next to a child who talks a lot? Why should we have to medicate our kids to please your kid? (Different poster)

You medicate your kid to help them to focus and learn better. That is in their best interest.

+1

Terrible parenting to ignore ADD/ADHD or any similar issue. I have never heard of a medication to give anyone "selective listening" skills. PP sounds nuts. I feel bad for her kid, who does not seem to have a sane advocate for them.

Np. Do you have a child with ADHD or are you an adult with ADHD? Medication can help but a medicated child may still not have the same focus as a child without ADHD.

Also, what pp is discribing could absolutely happen to a child with ADHD. A child with ADHD may struggle to focus when there are more distractions around, such as friends that they want to talk to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HS teacher here. I stopped assigning groups and seats a lot time ago. There are way too many seat requests, accommodations and then parent emails for any configuration. They can pick their seats and I limit group projects. I prefer the kids who talk sit together. When apart, they still talk and either talk across the room or talk to whoever is near them. If it’s too loud, I politely ask them to take their conversation in the hall to continue talking while the rest of us are working, so we can concentrate. This stops it 99.9% of the time.

What about kids in the class that don’t have any friends to do group projects with in the class?

I’m a different teacher.

I limit groups now. Remember when we were in high school? One kid did all the work and the other 2-3 benefited. It’s the same now, and even worse. One kid looks up the answers online and the other 2-3 watch YouTube. I have classes of 36 or more. I can’t adequately monitor all groups, so I do it as little as possible.

I also agree with the teacher above. Loud kids can sit together. I spent years doing the buffer method and decided everyone loses. Now that classes can have 10 or more disruptive students each, I would run out of buffers anyway.

And to the people above criticizing teachers for their management, know that school isn’t what it used to be. Teachers can’t have control of their classrooms because every tool we had has been taken away. And the kids know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was just volunteering in my DD's class. On nearly every single boy's desk there was a sign taped on. It said something like "Remember to sit quietly, raise your hand, don't talk when others are speaking, don't touch other people" with a picture of a stop sign. I looked and didn't see any signs on girl desks.

What is going on with boys? Is school asking too much of boys? Do we need same sex classes? I do think that boys and girls learn differently.

What’s going on with boys is largely that teachers are biased against boys.

Some boys misbehave and so do some girls. Some boys are quiet and studious. Just like some girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does this mean?

Assigned seating in class or at lunch where well behaved kids are sprinkled amongst the troublemakers.

I mean, isn't that just how assigned seating works? Or are you suggesting labeling each kid as well-behaved or trouble maker and segregating accordingly? Hopefully you realize how silly that sounds.

Not silly at all- common. For example at a table of four a teacher will put: 2 well behaved girls and one quiet boy with a troublemaking boy. Never more than one troublemaker together. It is pretty obvious.

I'm not a teacher .... but that seems like a very practical approach. What would you prefer, all the troublemakers grouped together at one table?? That would be a disaster for everyone in the room.

Troublemakers should be penalized until they know I the behavior off.