Quiet kids as table buffers for louder kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides of this.

As a teacher, yes I always did this.

As a parent I have been annoyed as my child has been used as a buffer child consistently.

I am not sure what you think the alternative is though?

I have the kid who won't stop talking and I ask that she not be put near people she would prefer to talk to. Keeps her quiet, she won't bug her neighbor, and everyone can focus on their work better. Why does this bother the "buffer"? They weren't going to misbehave or talk either way so the end result is the same for them. But now the classroom has less chatter.

Did it occur to you to teach your kid how to behave in a classroom setting?

Well, she has ADHD, so how could I "teach" her to do that?

Proper medication.

Why not give your kid anxiety medication if they can’t handle sitting next to a child who talks a lot? Why should we have to medicate our kids to please your kid? (Different poster)

You medicate your kid to help them to focus and learn better. That is in their best interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This stopped after ES for us. Actually it stopped IN ES for us after I sent a scathing note about it.

I should have done that.

Two years of being the buffer kid on field trips, seating arrangement, choir risers, lunch tables. Ugh.

She never got to see her friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only time it seems to happen is high school is teachers pairing kids for group work/group projects. Drives my DD crazy.

+1. Not the “real world” (ie job setting) at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides of this.

As a teacher, yes I always did this.

As a parent I have been annoyed as my child has been used as a buffer child consistently.

I am not sure what you think the alternative is though?

I have the kid who won't stop talking and I ask that she not be put near people she would prefer to talk to. Keeps her quiet, she won't bug her neighbor, and everyone can focus on their work better. Why does this bother the "buffer"? They weren't going to misbehave or talk either way so the end result is the same for them. But now the classroom has less chatter.

Did it occur to you to teach your kid how to behave in a classroom setting?

Well, she has ADHD, so how could I "teach" her to do that?

Proper medication.

Why not give your kid anxiety medication if they can’t handle sitting next to a child who talks a lot? Why should we have to medicate our kids to please your kid? (Different poster)

You medicate your kid to help them to focus and learn better. That is in their best interest.

It's not a magic pill that puts them into a zombie like stupor, you know that, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a quiet kid and am a quiet adult, and this thread is kind of throwing me for a loop. I never thought of being quiet as a positive attribute, while being extroverted and gregarious as a negative one.
I have always wanted to be more like the “troublemakers.”

There's a time and a place for this type of personality. In a classroom while the teacher is teaching is not the time and place to be class clown.

How do you have a “time and place” for your personality?
Don’t we all have times and places where we wish we could change our personalities? I can’t tell you how many situations I have been in where I would have preferred to be someone who was more talkative and outgoing.

Sometimes we have to get out of our comfort zones and do the small talk, be conversational, and if that's not your personality you do your best then you get to go home and recharge. I'm an introvert by nature but sometimes I have to fake it until I make it.

Sure. I can do that for short periods of time as an adult.
It seems crazy to expect a child to do that for 7 hours a day though. I feel for these kids. If you told me that I had to go to a party and socialize and crack jokes from 8am-3pm every day, I would be miserable.

[Anonymous]

My kid with ADHD who is both often the chatter AND very distracted by the other kids who are disrupting class had a MUCH easier time during Covid when the switched kids to individual desks that were spaced apart. In middle she's at a school where most classes have standard desks and seems to only have difficulty staying focused in the one class where the kids are at tables.

I wish schools would give kids more running around time, but also realize that if you want kids to pay attention and focus, sitting them at tables together where you also have to turn, sometimes awkwardly to see the boards/teachers, creates distraction and focusing issues, especially for kids who already struggle there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only time it seems to happen is high school is teachers pairing kids for group work/group projects. Drives my DD crazy.

+1. Not the “real world” (ie job setting) at all.

Huh. This is exactly my experience of the “real world.” The quiet person who will do the work is paired with the more extroverted public speaker and “face” of the project.

(The “troublemaker” also typically gets paid more.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides of this.

As a teacher, yes I always did this.

As a parent I have been annoyed as my child has been used as a buffer child consistently.

I am not sure what you think the alternative is though?

I have the kid who won't stop talking and I ask that she not be put near people she would prefer to talk to. Keeps her quiet, she won't bug her neighbor, and everyone can focus on their work better. Why does this bother the "buffer"? They weren't going to misbehave or talk either way so the end result is the same for them. But now the classroom has less chatter.

Did it occur to you to teach your kid how to behave in a classroom setting?

Well, she has ADHD, so how could I "teach" her to do that?

Medication and a ball gag for all i care. Don't expect tweens and teen to do your job.

For all you care? Stuff it. My kid can sit next to your and bug the shit out of her for all I care.

⬆️⬆️⬆️ This is why we can't have nice things. I'm guessing your kid had also cleared a room or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides of this.

As a teacher, yes I always did this.

As a parent I have been annoyed as my child has been used as a buffer child consistently.

I am not sure what you think the alternative is though?

I have the kid who won't stop talking and I ask that she not be put near people she would prefer to talk to. Keeps her quiet, she won't bug her neighbor, and everyone can focus on their work better. Why does this bother the "buffer"? They weren't going to misbehave or talk either way so the end result is the same for them. But now the classroom has less chatter.

Did it occur to you to teach your kid how to behave in a classroom setting?

Well, she has ADHD, so how could I "teach" her to do that?

Medication and a ball gag for all i care. Don't expect tweens and teen to do your job.

For all you care? Stuff it. My kid can sit next to your and bug the shit out of her for all I care.

⬆️⬆️⬆️ This is why we can't have nice things. I'm guessing your kid had also cleared a room or two.

Hardly. But that PP deserves zero consideration. A ball gag?

[Anonymous]

Wow. If my quiet, attentive child complained about this, I would (nicely) tell her to stop being a B and take the stick out of her behind. People are different. WWJD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. If my quiet, attentive child complained about this, I would (nicely) tell her to stop being a B and take the stick out of her behind. People are different. WWJD?

After 5 months of eating every lunch beside a person who wouldn’t shut up Jesus would switch seats with Luke and say ‘your turn.’

That’s WJWD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. If my quiet, attentive child complained about this, I would (nicely) tell her to stop being a B and take the stick out of her behind. People are different. WWJD?

After 5 months of eating every lunch beside a person who wouldn’t shut up Jesus would switch seats with Luke and say ‘your turn.’

That’s WJWD.

Can we be friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides of this.

As a teacher, yes I always did this.

As a parent I have been annoyed as my child has been used as a buffer child consistently.

I am not sure what you think the alternative is though?

I have the kid who won't stop talking and I ask that she not be put near people she would prefer to talk to. Keeps her quiet, she won't bug her neighbor, and everyone can focus on their work better. Why does this bother the "buffer"? They weren't going to misbehave or talk either way so the end result is the same for them. But now the classroom has less chatter.

Did it occur to you to teach your kid how to behave in a classroom setting?

Well, she has ADHD, so how could I "teach" her to do that?

Proper medication.

Why not give your kid anxiety medication if they can’t handle sitting next to a child who talks a lot? Why should we have to medicate our kids to please your kid? (Different poster)

You medicate your kid to help them to focus and learn better. That is in their best interest.

+1

Terrible parenting to ignore ADD/ADHD or any similar issue. I have never heard of a medication to give anyone "selective listening" skills. PP sounds nuts. I feel bad for her kid, who does not seem to have a sane advocate for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the issue is a teaching style in the early grades that is not appropriate for a lot of kids and a teaching workforce for early elementary that is dominated by women who don't have a clue how to engage a different type of personality beyond the quiet and well-behaved girl who can sit for long stretches stereotype.

BTW, I say this as a parent of a boy who could sit and do all the things any teacher ever wanted and was quiet and a girl who was chatty and had trouble sitting still for long periods when she was younger.

They are both thriving in high school and no she does not have ADHD and she is not a "troublemaker". Did her energy and chattiness annoy some teachers who were kind of lazy and boring and didn't seem to actually like children? Sure. The label troublemaker is terrible and you all who are saying that kind of suck.

We're not talking about your DD's type if she was not labeled a troublemaker. These parents are well aware of their kids' issues. One of these kids can disrupt an entire class.

She was labeled a trouble maker by some teachers! And clearly by some on this thread she would be too. Some want kids to just shut up and sit there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on both sides of this.

As a teacher, yes I always did this.

As a parent I have been annoyed as my child has been used as a buffer child consistently.

I am not sure what you think the alternative is though?

I have the kid who won't stop talking and I ask that she not be put near people she would prefer to talk to. Keeps her quiet, she won't bug her neighbor, and everyone can focus on their work better. Why does this bother the "buffer"? They weren't going to misbehave or talk either way so the end result is the same for them. But now the classroom has less chatter.

Did it occur to you to teach your kid how to behave in a classroom setting?

Well, she has ADHD, so how could I "teach" her to do that?

Proper medication.

Gee whiz. If it only it made her shut up and never talk. She already has preferential seating nearest the teacher with other kids like her. We're doing our best. Sorry your goody two shoes has to be inconvenienced once in awhile.

Great attitude for productive, healthy parenting, here folks? Wow. And you see why parents have their kid moved away from this kid.

Maybe the parents of kids who want to get work done will have your kid sit by themselves, so they have no one to disrupt. With her attitude, it seems inevitable.