Does the social needs forum feel like it’s changed?

[Anonymous]

As a former special education teacher of 10+ years, the posters saying advocates contribute to the teacher shortage are absolutely full of it. I quit after being repeatedly harassed by administration. I was told by my admin and team leader to tell parents during IEP meetings that their children with severe behaviors didn't qualify for one on one support when they obviously did. When I refused, I was viciously harassed until I quit. It has absolutely nothing to do with parents and everything to do with abusive administrators that are never held accountable, ever. Parents, when you are gaslighted by your IEP team, they had a pre-meeting and were threatened into not saying anything that could mean the principal has to call the central office to request additional support. I have zero respect for the spineless teachers that go along with it and let these kids down.

[Anonymous]

When you aren't lazy and do accurate data collection and write solid IEPs for your caseload, parents don't call advocates on you. I definitely had some questionable coworkers who met that criteria.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you aren't lazy and do accurate data collection and write solid IEPs for your caseload, parents don't call advocates on you. I definitely had some questionable coworkers who met that criteria.

Posts like this are what is making the forum negative. This is not at all true and this belief is harmful for teachers and parents. Are we saying that advocates should always be a welcome part of the eligibility or IEP process, or that they should only be used when there are "lazy" teachers? Or that the only reason a parent could want an advocate is because a teacher is lazy and not a number of other issues?

[Anonymous]

It definitely feels like it has changed. It’s no longer constructive and many trolls. Pretty much anything you post about people are so harsh. We go through so much trying to do our best to take care of our special needs kids and don’t need bashing and negativity and going after the posters. Sad really. I used to use this forum a lot but now not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you aren't lazy and do accurate data collection and write solid IEPs for your caseload, parents don't call advocates on you. I definitely had some questionable coworkers who met that criteria.

Posts like this are what is making the forum negative. This is not at all true and this belief is harmful for teachers and parents. Are we saying that advocates should always be a welcome part of the eligibility or IEP process, or that they should only be used when there are "lazy" teachers? Or that the only reason a parent could want an advocate is because a teacher is lazy and not a number of other issues?

NP. You need to read more carefully. The poster is saying that it's really rare for parents to seek to pay thousands of dollars to have someone help them if an IEP team is being helpful and careful. We have personally only called advocates for help when a team is being lazy or violating the law for other reasons and getting away with it and most parent we know only seek help when they are having a difficult time with an IEP team. I don't know if the parents are right or the IEP team is right but an advocate can help them come to a resolution.

No one said advocates are only used with lazy teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you aren't lazy and do accurate data collection and write solid IEPs for your caseload, parents don't call advocates on you. I definitely had some questionable coworkers who met that criteria.

Posts like this are what is making the forum negative. This is not at all true and this belief is harmful for teachers and parents. Are we saying that advocates should always be a welcome part of the eligibility or IEP process, or that they should only be used when there are "lazy" teachers? Or that the only reason a parent could want an advocate is because a teacher is lazy and not a number of other issues?

NP. You need to read more carefully. The poster is saying that it's really rare for parents to seek to pay thousands of dollars to have someone help them if an IEP team is being helpful and careful. We have personally only called advocates for help when a team is being lazy or violating the law for other reasons and getting away with it and most parent we know only seek help when they are having a difficult time with an IEP team. I don't know if the parents are right or the IEP team is right but an advocate can help them come to a resolution.

No one said advocates are only used with lazy teachers.

I did read carefully. The post said "When you aren't lazy and do accurate data collection and write solid IEPs for your caseload, parents don't call advocates on you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you aren't lazy and do accurate data collection and write solid IEPs for your caseload, parents don't call advocates on you. I definitely had some questionable coworkers who met that criteria.

Posts like this are what is making the forum negative. This is not at all true and this belief is harmful for teachers and parents. Are we saying that advocates should always be a welcome part of the eligibility or IEP process, or that they should only be used when there are "lazy" teachers? Or that the only reason a parent could want an advocate is because a teacher is lazy and not a number of other issues?

NP. You need to read more carefully. The poster is saying that it's really rare for parents to seek to pay thousands of dollars to have someone help them if an IEP team is being helpful and careful. We have personally only called advocates for help when a team is being lazy or violating the law for other reasons and getting away with it and most parent we know only seek help when they are having a difficult time with an IEP team. I don't know if the parents are right or the IEP team is right but an advocate can help them come to a resolution.

No one said advocates are only used with lazy teachers.

I did read carefully. The post said "When you aren't lazy and do accurate data collection and write solid IEPs for your caseload, parents don't call advocates on you."

This isn’t the teacher’s job board. There is a jobs and careers section.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a former special education teacher, I do get frustrated by the lack of understanding of SPED laws, eligibility criteria, educational vs. medical identification of disabilities, etc. No, your child is not automatically entitled to an IEP because they have XYZ diagnosis and the school district isn't breaking the law because they won't write one up for you right away. It's the "guns blazing" attitude.

I agree. I see so much inaccurate information posted about special education, services, diagnosis, and more. I see families who don’t want to hear facts and realities about special education, disabilities, and law. I see many parents “reporting” posts made by professionals, but the parents make so many out of line comments that are not respirated. Many professionals posts were deleted, and so the forum is biased and spreads more false information. Double standard, just like in education.

This board is not called “special needs PARENTS”- it’s “special needs kids.” Posts made by professionals are often belittled and not appreciated or welcome.

[Anonymous]

Yes! I posted twice recently about gestalt language and finding a therapist. Instead, I got pages of nasty replies saying it wasn't a thing, I was jumping on the trend, arguing about if it's a thing, etc. Take the arguments off this board - I am going by what our current, professional therapists are calling it and asking for help finding someone local. In the past, people were so kind even if they didn't have suggestions. Now I'm scared to post.

[Anonymous]

There’s this one specific poster who comes onto all my threads and ruins them. I end up having to abandon or delete the posts. It wasn’t a problem a year or two ago but now she finds every single thread I make on the SN forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I posted twice recently about gestalt language and finding a therapist. Instead, I got pages of nasty replies saying it wasn't a thing, I was jumping on the trend, arguing about if it's a thing, etc. Take the arguments off this board - I am going by what our current, professional therapists are calling it and asking for help finding someone local. In the past, people were so kind even if they didn't have suggestions. Now I'm scared to post.

Not to prove you point (lol - arguing that what you say is true isn’t true)…. But I remember back in 2014-2015 when I had a 3 year old and was finding myself on this forum more and more, one thing this forum liked to shit all over was PANDAS. Not relevant to me, but I just remember reading threads about aggressive kids (I was reading because ds was an incredibly handsy hyper toddler - and quickly got a adhd asd diagnosis). Whenever someone posted about “what do you think is going on with my aggressive kid” there were twenty posts about “probably adhd” and one short post “I would look into pandas”. And then several people would shit on them “made up” “doesn’t exist”. I didn’t even know what pandas was but figured it was made up.

Fast forward to 2018 and my kid got pandas. It took two months and withdrawing from school to figure out what was going on. I spent those two months doing hours and hours of internet research, academic paper research etc - looking for anything that would explain it. I vaguely remember landing in threads and webpages about pandas. I paid no attention because I didn’t know what pandas was but I knew from here that it wasn’t real. Ultimately a reputable psych tested for pandas and others based on how we’d described his overnight change, and he was immediately diagnosed. So point is that eight years ago, this forum had jerks telling ppl them were kooks.

Also, back then, there was a LOT of the typical feedback of “lady get a grip, SPD isn’t real and eventually you’ll have a adhd diagnosis porbably with asd.” People were pretty cruel on those threads with regularity. Or maybe it just sucks to hear the truth when you’re hoping it’s something less. But I thought ppl on this forum were “mean but helpful”. Even back then.

So just adding some perspective to the folks who think it was all sunshine and lollipops back in the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s this one specific poster who comes onto all my threads and ruins them. I end up having to abandon or delete the posts. It wasn’t a problem a year or two ago but now she finds every single thread I make on the SN forum.

Can you give examples? And please stop getting things deleted. It's not helpful to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I posted twice recently about gestalt language and finding a therapist. Instead, I got pages of nasty replies saying it wasn't a thing, I was jumping on the trend, arguing about if it's a thing, etc. Take the arguments off this board - I am going by what our current, professional therapists are calling it and asking for help finding someone local. In the past, people were so kind even if they didn't have suggestions. Now I'm scared to post.

Not to prove you point (lol - arguing that what you say is true isn’t true)…. But I remember back in 2014-2015 when I had a 3 year old and was finding myself on this forum more and more, one thing this forum liked to shit all over was PANDAS. Not relevant to me, but I just remember reading threads about aggressive kids (I was reading because ds was an incredibly handsy hyper toddler - and quickly got a adhd asd diagnosis). Whenever someone posted about “what do you think is going on with my aggressive kid” there were twenty posts about “probably adhd” and one short post “I would look into pandas”. And then several people would shit on them “made up” “doesn’t exist”. I didn’t even know what pandas was but figured it was made up.

Fast forward to 2018 and my kid got pandas. It took two months and withdrawing from school to figure out what was going on. I spent those two months doing hours and hours of internet research, academic paper research etc - looking for anything that would explain it. I vaguely remember landing in threads and webpages about pandas. I paid no attention because I didn’t know what pandas was but I knew from here that it wasn’t real. Ultimately a reputable psych tested for pandas and others based on how we’d described his overnight change, and he was immediately diagnosed. So point is that eight years ago, this forum had jerks telling ppl them were kooks.

Also, back then, there was a LOT of the typical feedback of “lady get a grip, SPD isn’t real and eventually you’ll have a adhd diagnosis porbably with asd.” People were pretty cruel on those threads with regularity. Or maybe it just sucks to hear the truth when you’re hoping it’s something less. But I thought ppl on this forum were “mean but helpful”. Even back then.

So just adding some perspective to the folks who think it was all sunshine and lollipops back in the day.

+1 I agree with this and I still think all those "mean" posts are helpful. It's good to know pandas exists. Also good to know the attitude towards the condition so I'd be prepared for skepticism with providers and others. It's the same situation with SPD and never getting an ASD or ADHD diagnosis. I appreciate the debate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I posted twice recently about gestalt language and finding a therapist. Instead, I got pages of nasty replies saying it wasn't a thing, I was jumping on the trend, arguing about if it's a thing, etc. Take the arguments off this board - I am going by what our current, professional therapists are calling it and asking for help finding someone local. In the past, people were so kind even if they didn't have suggestions. Now I'm scared to post.

Not to prove you point (lol - arguing that what you say is true isn’t true)…. But I remember back in 2014-2015 when I had a 3 year old and was finding myself on this forum more and more, one thing this forum liked to shit all over was PANDAS. Not relevant to me, but I just remember reading threads about aggressive kids (I was reading because ds was an incredibly handsy hyper toddler - and quickly got a adhd asd diagnosis). Whenever someone posted about “what do you think is going on with my aggressive kid” there were twenty posts about “probably adhd” and one short post “I would look into pandas”. And then several people would shit on them “made up” “doesn’t exist”. I didn’t even know what pandas was but figured it was made up.

Fast forward to 2018 and my kid got pandas. It took two months and withdrawing from school to figure out what was going on. I spent those two months doing hours and hours of internet research, academic paper research etc - looking for anything that would explain it. I vaguely remember landing in threads and webpages about pandas. I paid no attention because I didn’t know what pandas was but I knew from here that it wasn’t real. Ultimately a reputable psych tested for pandas and others based on how we’d described his overnight change, and he was immediately diagnosed. So point is that eight years ago, this forum had jerks telling ppl them were kooks.

Also, back then, there was a LOT of the typical feedback of “lady get a grip, SPD isn’t real and eventually you’ll have a adhd diagnosis porbably with asd.” People were pretty cruel on those threads with regularity. Or maybe it just sucks to hear the truth when you’re hoping it’s something less. But I thought ppl on this forum were “mean but helpful”. Even back then.

So just adding some perspective to the folks who think it was all sunshine and lollipops back in the day.

+1 I agree with this and I still think all those "mean" posts are helpful. It's good to know pandas exists. Also good to know the attitude towards the condition so I'd be prepared for skepticism with providers and others. It's the same situation with SPD and never getting an ASD or ADHD diagnosis. I appreciate the debate.

I disagree with this. While I absolutely think we should be kind to each other, one of the benefits of DCUM’s demographic is that we are highly educated and evidence based. There are a LOT of snakeoil salesmen in the SN world as well as trendy narratives that are amplified by social media instead of evidence. PANDAS is a great example of that. It’s absolutely true that there are sudden neurological conditions that can cause severe behavioral changes, including infections. But there have been practitioners willing to take advantage of parents to diagnose everything as PANDAS and prescribe risky & expensive treatments. I 100% want DCUM to continue to be a place where this is called out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I posted twice recently about gestalt language and finding a therapist. Instead, I got pages of nasty replies saying it wasn't a thing, I was jumping on the trend, arguing about if it's a thing, etc. Take the arguments off this board - I am going by what our current, professional therapists are calling it and asking for help finding someone local. In the past, people were so kind even if they didn't have suggestions. Now I'm scared to post.

Not to prove you point (lol - arguing that what you say is true isn’t true)…. But I remember back in 2014-2015 when I had a 3 year old and was finding myself on this forum more and more, one thing this forum liked to shit all over was PANDAS. Not relevant to me, but I just remember reading threads about aggressive kids (I was reading because ds was an incredibly handsy hyper toddler - and quickly got a adhd asd diagnosis). Whenever someone posted about “what do you think is going on with my aggressive kid” there were twenty posts about “probably adhd” and one short post “I would look into pandas”. And then several people would shit on them “made up” “doesn’t exist”. I didn’t even know what pandas was but figured it was made up.

Fast forward to 2018 and my kid got pandas. It took two months and withdrawing from school to figure out what was going on. I spent those two months doing hours and hours of internet research, academic paper research etc - looking for anything that would explain it. I vaguely remember landing in threads and webpages about pandas. I paid no attention because I didn’t know what pandas was but I knew from here that it wasn’t real. Ultimately a reputable psych tested for pandas and others based on how we’d described his overnight change, and he was immediately diagnosed. So point is that eight years ago, this forum had jerks telling ppl them were kooks.

Also, back then, there was a LOT of the typical feedback of “lady get a grip, SPD isn’t real and eventually you’ll have a adhd diagnosis porbably with asd.” People were pretty cruel on those threads with regularity. Or maybe it just sucks to hear the truth when you’re hoping it’s something less. But I thought ppl on this forum were “mean but helpful”. Even back then.

So just adding some perspective to the folks who think it was all sunshine and lollipops back in the day.

+1 I agree with this and I still think all those "mean" posts are helpful. It's good to know pandas exists. Also good to know the attitude towards the condition so I'd be prepared for skepticism with providers and others. It's the same situation with SPD and never getting an ASD or ADHD diagnosis. I appreciate the debate.

Agree. PP also benefitted from being on notice to be cautious about PANDAS practitioners. With an actual PANDAS case the last thing she needed was a huckster pumping her kid full of infusions not covered by insurance.