Best non-stressful selective schools
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Anonymous
This is great advice. |
Anonymous
Dated a girl who crashed out of Chicago but kept a memorable t-shirt -U Chicago on the front. ‘Yes, H*LL does freeze over’ on the back. |
Anonymous
This is a steaming pile of BS. |
Anonymous
Good idea |
Anonymous
I agree! College of Wooster could be a good option. |
Anonymous
| Wooster and Midwest SLACs all sound like good advice, OP. And kudos to you for genuinely looking for a fit. |
Anonymous
Doesn't William & Mary have a reputation for being a pressure cooker? That's what I have heard. |
Anonymous
| Same college can be very stressful for one person and very low stress for another. |
Anonymous
I don't know about the wellness center, but DD picked WM as her top choice based on the campus visit, it seems quiet and peaceful compared to UVA which was crowded and hectic. |
Anonymous
+1 I think there’s a lot of value in “grinder” schools like CMU. |
Anonymous
Advice to us from current parents with kids at WM: There's a real problem with depression and anxiety among the students. The school's trying, but they're not successfully handling it. This is second hand info of course so take it for what it's worth. |
Anonymous
My DD who has ADHD and an anxiety disorder is a sophomore at WM. She is doing very well. She says she’s busy and she feels pushed academically, but— and this is what we watch for— she is not feeling overwhelmed. Given her history of perfectionism and ADHD, we check in periodically and make sure she know she can withdraw from a class by late October and still have a full load. At WM the first 2 withdrawals don’t even show up on the transcript. Thus far, she has not withdrawn. Her sibling did withdraw from a class sophomore year at his college and it was fine. She’s at 18 credits (4 3 credit classes, a 5 credit language, a music lesson and a performing arts group), and says alls well. If that changes she’ll talk to her advisors (double major) and us. I’d rather have her at 13-15 and feeling good than 16-18 and overwhelmed/ panicked. My other kid goes to a midwestern SLAC, which was a great choice. He also has ADHD and anxiety. Feels more pressure than my WM kid. But has weaker EF skills. Which comes to my point: a lot of this is kid specific. Some kids can take more pressure and more pressure and more pressure and be fine. Some get overwhelmed easy. It’s fair to ask how your kids strengths and weaknesses will play out in a given college. But “my kid is/isn’t doing well at WM/ midwestern SLAC”. is a data set of 1. School policies help: like withdrawal for any reason without penalty late into the semester, accessible professors, strong tutoring center, good linkage between on campus crisis counseling and off campus (long term) mental health care, reasonable accommodations policies, a wellness center with drop in and semester classes and resources (my SLAC kid did “Relaxation Techniques” and “Meditation” classes for one credit, P/F), a system for anyone (parents, RAs, professors, peers) to anonymously report a concern. These help. So does the tone set by Admin. None of this helps if your kid doesn’t use it. BUT, and this is HUGE— do everything you can to build resilience during HS. My WM kid did junior year in the basement, 5 APs. It could have made her or broken her. There were days she was almost broken. But, we pushed in all the help we could, and came out with incredible self confidence (“if I can do that, I can do anything”). She also learned great self advocacy across multiple media (email, zoom, in person), and has no trouble staying after class to talk to a prof or going to office hours. We also did psychiatrists/meds, therapists, executive functioning coaches, etc. Remember: once they start college, you lose the ability to intervene if they need treatment unless it’s life threatening. You can say “I think it would be helpful to make a therapy appointment”. And, they can ignore you. We also reset out expectations. In some classes, we expect As. It’s right in the kids wheelhouse. In others, a B is great and took hard work. Our expectation depends on the class and the effort. A B where the kid never got tutoring, missed some classes, never went to office hours and hall asses the papers is a problem. An B that the kid worked hard for gets congratulated. So, they tell us if a grade is good or not, for them. And, I think they are pretty honest with themselves and us. In fact, while typing this I just got a “I got an 83 in Hard Class’s midterm. Class average was 82. My current grade overall is 87”— with dancing emojis. This is a pre-rec for her major in an area of weakness. The series of 4 classes (this is #3) are known as the weed classes for the major. Last semester, her roommate failed Class #2 despite tutoring and office visits and studying with DD and decided to change majors. So, I learned to put away my perfectionist tendencies and reinforce DD’s feeling good about less than a A, because in this case, a B/B+ is great for her. I do think being aware of add/drop and withdrawal and re-setting expectations to “what’s reasonable for this kid” has helped a lot on the pressure front. |
Anonymous
But, how did you handle it in MS and HS? And how do you expect WM to “handle it”. Your kid shouldn’t go to college unless their mental health is stable. If you hand a college an anxious/depressed ADULT child, and expect them to “fix” a problem that has existed in your home a decade or more without being “fixed”, you will be disappointed. Schools put policies in place to ease transitions, have mental health supports and short term treatment, have policies that flag serious mental issues. But they can’t look at 5000 kids at “fix them” or “handle it”. That’s your job as a parent. If your kid still has a ways to go, gap year or community college while they work in their mental health. |
Anonymous
Depression and anxiety are widespread among teens generally these days, due to various factors. It’s not really specific to W&M students. Wasn’t W&M also on a list of happiest students recently? |
Anonymous
Yes, but only for some people. |