Best non-stressful selective schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at SLACs in the midwest. These schools tend to have a friendly, supportive culture both academically and socially. Faculty are generally quite strong and with a genuine interest in teaching and helping students learn. Kids tend to be into co-existence, not competition. Hope this helps; good luck to your DC.

Any school in the midwest, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:William & Mary

They have an entire wellness center focused on helping kids stay balanced.

I don't know about the wellness center, but DD picked WM as her top choice based on the campus visit, it seems quiet and peaceful compared to UVA which was crowded and hectic.

Advice to us from current parents with kids at WM: There's a real problem with depression and anxiety among the students. The school's trying, but they're not successfully handling it. This is second hand info of course so take it for what it's worth.

Selection bias. WM has a strain of students that are anxious and kind of revel in that.

This is one of the best descriptions of WM I've ever heard.
NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Brown

Even though it is so difficult to get into Brown?

L
Like most Ivies, the hardest part is getting in. Once there, it's hard to fall below a B.

Hearing from my freshman’s high school friends that Princeton STEM incredibly hard, class wide averages below 50 on chem and calc exams. Sounds miserable.

Maybe so, but ask them at the end of the semester what their final grade is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:William & Mary

They have an entire wellness center focused on helping kids stay balanced.

Big hint here that if the school needs a center for this, then stress is actually a huge problem on campus.

Think most colleges have a wellness center these days. Stress is not just related to academics.

[Anonymous]

My niece is going to University of Kentucky. Acceptance rate is 94%.

The classes are easy. In math she’s taking pre-algebra. My DC covered this in 7th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at SLACs in the midwest. These schools tend to have a friendly, supportive culture both academically and socially. Faculty are generally quite strong and with a genuine interest in teaching and helping students learn. Kids tend to be into co-existence, not competition. Hope this helps; good luck to your DC.

Any school in the midwest, really.

Your comment is accurate except for U Chicago & Northwestern, but it won’t convince most of the people reading this because they are thinking, “But my kid doesn’t look good in bib overalls and doesn’t know how to drive a tractor!!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Brown

Even though it is so difficult to get into Brown?

Difficult to get into Brown. But once there, they focus a lot on mental health and flexibility. The open curriculum means you can find classes that you love and not slog through requirements outside your wheelhouse (of course, there are still lots of requirements for your *major* but that's up to you to decide. The withdrawal policy is very, very flexible. I'm not certain but I think that even now (Thanksgiving weekend) it's possibly not too late to drop. Also, Fs don't go on the transcript (they're on an internal transcript so your advisor sees it, but not an external transcript.).

So what all of htis means is that there's not a cut-throat culture-- kids talk more about mental health than grades. They help each other because most classes don't have a curve. Etc.

[Anonymous]

I would honestly keep her closer to home so she can rely on you for support. Coming home for laundry or a nice meal and getting away from campus once a month can make a big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Brown

Even though it is so difficult to get into Brown?

L
Like most Ivies, the hardest part is getting in. Once there, it's hard to fall below a B.

Hearing from my freshman’s high school friends that Princeton STEM incredibly hard, class wide averages below 50 on chem and calc exams. Sounds miserable.

Maybe so, but ask them at the end of the semester what their final grade is.

The semester is more than half over, clearly c curve at best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:William & Mary

They have an entire wellness center focused on helping kids stay balanced.

Back in the day those were known as “bars.”

But william and mary has deli's not bars

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My niece is going to University of Kentucky. Acceptance rate is 94%.

The classes are easy. In math she’s taking pre-algebra. My DC covered this in 7th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You also might want to prep her that even though she's stacked an impressive HS resume, it might not be enough to get into "selective" schools.

You should do like everyone else, find a balanced list of schools and cross any off that are known to be cut-throat like Ivy, UChicago, etc.

+1

My kid has super high stats and initially wanted to go to CMU. Went to state flagship instead. It's a much better fit. CMU is way too intense for my DC who, even with high stats, is somewhat chill. DC is happy at the state flagship, and while it is less impressive than CMU, DC's mental health and happiness is, in the words of Mastercard, "pricesless".

^. This! My class of 2020 happy go lucky NMF, 4.8, AP kid visited and toured CMU and thought it was way too stressful and decided not to apply there or any Ivy. They ended up deciding between Pitt and UMD (honors for both). Fast forward to today, they graduated from UMD in 3 years and are doing its plus one program for their masters this year. They good great grades, play a club sport, got a good internship and an outstanding job offer when they graduate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My niece is going to University of Kentucky. Acceptance rate is 94%.

The classes are easy. In math she’s taking pre-algebra. My DC covered this in 7th grade.

Is this because she has to take pre-algebra in order to enroll in higher level math? Some schools don’t offer credits for those classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My niece is going to University of Kentucky. Acceptance rate is 94%.

The classes are easy. In math she’s taking pre-algebra. My DC covered this in 7th grade.

A 94% acceptance rate isn’t selective though.

(Not criticizing- my DD is considering a school with a similar acceptance rate depending on where else she is admitted).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:William & Mary

They have an entire wellness center focused on helping kids stay balanced.

Doesn't William & Mary have a reputation for being a pressure cooker? That's what I have heard.

My DD who has ADHD and an anxiety disorder is a sophomore at WM. She is doing very well. She says she’s busy and she feels pushed academically, but— and this is what we watch for— she is not feeling overwhelmed.

Given her history of perfectionism and ADHD, we check in periodically and make sure she know she can withdraw from a class by late October and still have a full load. At WM the first 2 withdrawals don’t even show up on the transcript. Thus far, she has not withdrawn. Her sibling did withdraw from a class sophomore year at his college and it was fine.

She’s at 18 credits (4 3 credit classes, a 5 credit language, a music lesson and a performing arts group), and says alls well. If that changes she’ll talk to her advisors (double major) and us. I’d rather have her at 13-15 and feeling good than 16-18 and overwhelmed/ panicked.

My other kid goes to a midwestern SLAC, which was a great choice. He also has ADHD and anxiety. Feels more pressure than my WM kid. But has weaker EF skills.

Which comes to my point: a lot of this is kid specific. Some kids can take more pressure and more pressure and more pressure and be fine. Some get overwhelmed easy. It’s fair to ask how your kids strengths and weaknesses will play out in a given college. But “my kid is/isn’t doing well at WM/ midwestern SLAC”. is a data set of 1. School policies help: like withdrawal for any reason without penalty late into the semester, accessible professors, strong tutoring center, good linkage between on campus crisis counseling and off campus (long term) mental health care, reasonable accommodations policies, a wellness center with drop in and semester classes and resources (my SLAC kid did “Relaxation Techniques” and “Meditation” classes for one credit, P/F), a system for anyone (parents, RAs, professors, peers) to anonymously report a concern. These help. So does the tone set by Admin. None of this helps if your kid doesn’t use it.

BUT, and this is HUGE— do everything you can to build resilience during HS. My WM kid did junior year in the basement, 5 APs. It could have made her or broken her. There were days she was almost broken. But, we pushed in all the help we could, and came out with incredible self confidence (“if I can do that, I can do anything”). She also learned great self advocacy across multiple media (email, zoom, in person), and has no trouble staying after class to talk to a prof or going to office hours. We also did psychiatrists/meds, therapists, executive functioning coaches, etc. Remember: once they start college, you lose the ability to intervene if they need treatment unless it’s life threatening. You can say “I think it would be helpful to make a therapy appointment”. And, they can ignore you.

We also reset out expectations. In some classes, we expect As. It’s right in the kids wheelhouse. In others, a B is great and took hard work. Our expectation depends on the class and the effort. A B where the kid never got tutoring, missed some classes, never went to office hours and hall asses the papers is a problem. An B that the kid worked hard for gets congratulated. So, they tell us if a grade is good or not, for them. And, I think they are pretty honest with themselves and us.

In fact, while typing this I just got a “I got an 83 in Hard Class’s midterm. Class average was 82. My current grade overall is 87”— with dancing emojis. This is a pre-rec for her major in an area of weakness. The series of 4 classes (this is #3) are known as the weed classes for the major. Last semester, her roommate failed Class #2 despite tutoring and office visits and studying with DD and decided to change majors. So, I learned to put away my perfectionist tendencies and reinforce DD’s feeling good about less than a A, because in this case, a B/B+ is great for her.

I do think being aware of add/drop and withdrawal and re-setting expectations to “what’s reasonable for this kid” has helped a lot on the pressure front.

Just your post is making me anxious...