would you pick your kid up for lunch on the first day of school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds tempting of course, but no, I would not. This is similar to dropping your kids off at college on the first day, and then staying past that first day just to make sure they have what they need. Your child doesn't end up bonding with new people in the same boat, loses out on an opportunity to make new friends. It ends up being that your good intentions actually change the outcome of what could have been a learning opportunity for your child. I definitely understand not wanting your child to feel uncomfortable. But let's face it: school is for most.

Don’t want to hijack the thread but staying beyond the first day when taking your kid to college does not translate to not making friends. Plenty of parents do this, we did this with our son who went to school 7 hours away. Of course we didn’t hover, we gave him space and just went and got things he found he needed, treated him and his new roommate to a dinner out, and my son made tons of friends.

[Anonymous]

You're paying tuition for your daughter to attend this school and administration is sticking up for the bully? Transfer her out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: My rising ninth grader is in between friend groups. She had some good friends but then her friend moved away, the friend group broke up (the other girls got accepted by the popular group and my daughter didn't) and my DD was being bullied at the beginning of the year which prevented her from making friends. Her bully has been telling people in the popular group not to hang out with her. There are two girls that have talked about wanting to befriend her but not wanting to make the queen bee mad.

My daughter tried to befriend a group of kids known for being on the nerdier side because she was getting to know two girls in this group. She started sitting with them at lunch and the other kids in that group have been spreading rumors about my daughter. One of them literally jumps when my daughter walks into a room. My daughter had to start hanging out with some kids in the grade below her but when she starts high school, she will lose opportunities to hang out with them (they were all in an elective together).

She has been very worried about this school year. She is at a small K-12 private. We have tried talking to the counselor who basically said "Oh, I'm sure things will get better in high school" and hasn't done anything. We even talked to the principal about the rumors who said "Well, I've known Larla since she was little. She is a good kid who wouldn't gossip about you. Maybe she is telling the truth and your daughter is the problem."

Our zoned school is full of drug problems and is frequently on lockdown. I don't want my kid to go there but if things don't improve it might be our only option since the other privates in my city are all 25-45 minutes away. My younger kid loves the school, and I wouldn't be able to drive them both.

My daughter is very worried about the first day and wants me to pick her up for lunch on the first day if she doesn't find a group to sit with. Would you?

Get her out of that school, are you nuts?

[Anonymous]

Nope

[Anonymous]

I agree that you sunlike be exploring other schools, either the local public or figure out a car pool so sue can go to another private. A lot of privates have a bus option as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're paying tuition for your daughter to attend this school and administration is sticking up for the bully? Transfer her out.

I am confused by this. The school got two of the three bullies to transfer out and used the threat of expulsion to make that happen.

No school is going to be able to tell you the strategies they use, but it’s pretty obvious the school did intervene.

[Anonymous]

Our public school has lunch groups specifically for kids who are strugging socially. There is a counselor that allows them to eat in her office and facilitates a positive anxiety free lunch experience.

Your school kinda sucks in how they are dealing with this.

[Anonymous]

Put her in the public school. She will be in honors and ap classes around nice kids. She will be fine and much happier than that twisted psych experiment you have her in now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you switched your kid to a small private K-12 for middle school. How, exactly, did you think it would go, OP? Middle school is the WORST time to start private school. I can't believe you didn't think about that. Your poor child and the horrible situation you put her in. Switch her to public ASAP.

LOLOL! I moved my son to a very small private school for middle school (grades 6-8) and it was a great move for him. He was in classrrom sizes no more than 12 kids, got an excellecnt educational foundation and made wonderful and kind friends. It was truly a wonderful little bubble for him to have during the tough transition that ages 11-14 bring!

Sounds like OPs school just sucks.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do this. I also wouldn't pay or allow my kid to attend a private where they allow this.

Switch schools.

[Anonymous]

To everyone saying that I am paying for my daughter to be bullied, I am not. We get some FA and family pays for the rest. Still, this thread has given me a lot to think about.

[Anonymous]

I would get her out of that school before the school year starts. The environment is toxic and it’s not going to get better. Find another school for your daughter even if it’s public ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To everyone saying that I am paying for my daughter to be bullied, I am not. We get some FA and family pays for the rest. Still, this thread has given me a lot to think about.

That doesn’t make it better.

My daughter is transferring schools because of bullying at her old school. We had a pretty limited tolerance once the true bullying started and the school demonstrated an inability to deal with it effectively or really at all. We considered some options that would have been inconvenient, but worth it to us to get her out of that environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: My rising ninth grader is in between friend groups. She had some good friends but then her friend moved away, the friend group broke up (the other girls got accepted by the popular group and my daughter didn't) and my DD was being bullied at the beginning of the year which prevented her from making friends. Her bully has been telling people in the popular group not to hang out with her. There are two girls that have talked about wanting to befriend her but not wanting to make the queen bee mad.

My daughter tried to befriend a group of kids known for being on the nerdier side because she was getting to know two girls in this group. She started sitting with them at lunch and the other kids in that group have been spreading rumors about my daughter. One of them literally jumps when my daughter walks into a room. My daughter had to start hanging out with some kids in the grade below her but when she starts high school, she will lose opportunities to hang out with them (they were all in an elective together).

She has been very worried about this school year. She is at a small K-12 private. We have tried talking to the counselor who basically said "Oh, I'm sure things will get better in high school" and hasn't done anything. We even talked to the principal about the rumors who said "Well, I've known Larla since she was little. She is a good kid who wouldn't gossip about you. Maybe she is telling the truth and your daughter is the problem."

Our zoned school is full of drug problems and is frequently on lockdown. I don't want my kid to go there but if things don't improve it might be our only option since the other privates in my city are all 25-45 minutes away. My younger kid loves the school, and I wouldn't be able to drive them both.

My daughter is very worried about the first day and wants me to pick her up for lunch on the first day if she doesn't find a group to sit with. Would you?

Absolutely not. She’s gotta navigate this herself. Do not coddle. Plan something to celebrate after the first successful day maybe! Watch a favorite shoe, get cupcakes, high fives! Picking her up is a set up. What’s gonna happen on day 2, 3….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you switched your kid to a small private K-12 for middle school. How, exactly, did you think it would go, OP? Middle school is the WORST time to start private school. I can't believe you didn't think about that. Your poor child and the horrible situation you put her in. Switch her to public ASAP.

LOLOL! I moved my son to a very small private school for middle school (grades 6-8) and it was a great move for him. He was in classrrom sizes no more than 12 kids, got an excellecnt educational foundation and made wonderful and kind friends. It was truly a wonderful little bubble for him to have during the tough transition that ages 11-14 bring!

Sounds like OPs school just sucks.

“LOLOL?” Multiple exclamation points? Are you 80?