Looking for a "thing" at midlife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to offer a different perspective. I have family in Southern Europe who I visit several times a year, and I often reflect back on life there when I'm trying to make sense of aspects of life here. As all my relatives and acquaintances age, I don't know anyone who is searching for meaning in life while working, raising their families, and just getting older. They just live their lives. I think this preoccupation with finding some meaning or purpose in life is very much an American thing, a type of first world problem. We have so much yet paradoxically it is never enough.

I'm an empty nester and older than you and I get what you're saying, OP since I have similar thoughts, but I also want to say that it is okay, more than okay, to live in the present and be content with what you're doing right now, and who you are right now. One thing I'm trying to do is inject small moments of "joy" and discovery throughout my day like trying a new recipe, practicing a new skill, and making an effort to have dinner outdoors on cooler evenings.

I agree. It's similar to the idea that you shouldn't retire unless you have something to retire to. Sure there are people who retire and sit at home in front of the TV all day and deteriorate mentally and physically, but most people can be fully content just living life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to offer a different perspective. I have family in Southern Europe who I visit several times a year, and I often reflect back on life there when I'm trying to make sense of aspects of life here. As all my relatives and acquaintances age, I don't know anyone who is searching for meaning in life while working, raising their families, and just getting older. They just live their lives. I think this preoccupation with finding some meaning or purpose in life is very much an American thing, a type of first world problem. We have so much yet paradoxically it is never enough.

I'm an empty nester and older than you and I get what you're saying, OP since I have similar thoughts, but I also want to say that it is okay, more than okay, to live in the present and be content with what you're doing right now, and who you are right now. One thing I'm trying to do is inject small moments of "joy" and discovery throughout my day like trying a new recipe, practicing a new skill, and making an effort to have dinner outdoors on cooler evenings.

I agree. It's similar to the idea that you shouldn't retire unless you have something to retire to. Sure there are people who retire and sit at home in front of the TV all day and deteriorate mentally and physically, but most people can be fully content just living life.

If the OP is interested in finding and trying some things, as many of us are, that’s perfectly okay too. We all have different needs and wants, only some of which we may want to share online. There’s no need to criticize anyone, implicitly or otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to offer a different perspective. I have family in Southern Europe who I visit several times a year, and I often reflect back on life there when I'm trying to make sense of aspects of life here. As all my relatives and acquaintances age, I don't know anyone who is searching for meaning in life while working, raising their families, and just getting older. They just live their lives. I think this preoccupation with finding some meaning or purpose in life is very much an American thing, a type of first world problem. We have so much yet paradoxically it is never enough.

I'm an empty nester and older than you and I get what you're saying, OP since I have similar thoughts, but I also want to say that it is okay, more than okay, to live in the present and be content with what you're doing right now, and who you are right now. One thing I'm trying to do is inject small moments of "joy" and discovery throughout my day like trying a new recipe, practicing a new skill, and making an effort to have dinner outdoors on cooler evenings.

I agree. It's similar to the idea that you shouldn't retire unless you have something to retire to. Sure there are people who retire and sit at home in front of the TV all day and deteriorate mentally and physically, but most people can be fully content just living life.

If the OP is interested in finding and trying some things, as many of us are, that’s perfectly okay too. We all have different needs and wants, only some of which we may want to share online. There’s no need to criticize anyone, implicitly or otherwise.

I didn't mean to criticize at all, just offer the perspective that it's okay if you don't find a "thing." I'm sorry if the comment came across as criticizing; that definitely was not my intent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to offer a different perspective. I have family in Southern Europe who I visit several times a year, and I often reflect back on life there when I'm trying to make sense of aspects of life here. As all my relatives and acquaintances age, I don't know anyone who is searching for meaning in life while working, raising their families, and just getting older. They just live their lives. I think this preoccupation with finding some meaning or purpose in life is very much an American thing, a type of first world problem. We have so much yet paradoxically it is never enough.

I'm an empty nester and older than you and I get what you're saying, OP since I have similar thoughts, but I also want to say that it is okay, more than okay, to live in the present and be content with what you're doing right now, and who you are right now. One thing I'm trying to do is inject small moments of "joy" and discovery throughout my day like trying a new recipe, practicing a new skill, and making an effort to have dinner outdoors on cooler evenings.

I agree. It's similar to the idea that you shouldn't retire unless you have something to retire to. Sure there are people who retire and sit at home in front of the TV all day and deteriorate mentally and physically, but most people can be fully content just living life.

If the OP is interested in finding and trying some things, as many of us are, that’s perfectly okay too. We all have different needs and wants, only some of which we may want to share online. There’s no need to criticize anyone, implicitly or otherwise.

I didn't mean to criticize at all, just offer the perspective that it's okay if you don't find a "thing." I'm sorry if the comment came across as criticizing; that definitely was not my intent.

No, I’m the one who’s sorry - it wasn’t your post so much as an accumulation of other DCUM posts, I think. You weren't criticizing the OP at all, I see. I apologize for being rude, and thank you for your own apology.

[Anonymous]

I began running at age 48 after a wholly sedentary life. All you need is a pair of sneakers and to walk out the door. There’s a huge community and races are a thrill!

[Anonymous]

Omg. This really is the nicest sub forum. I’m sending everyone hugs too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I began running at age 48 after a wholly sedentary life. All you need is a pair of sneakers and to walk out the door. There’s a huge community and races are a thrill!

And your health.

Always know you are lucky if sports are an option!

[Anonymous]

I started doing a lot of yoga, gardening and flipping items on Ebay in my 40s. I like to keep busy so it takes more than one thing!

[Anonymous]

Photography...Invest in a decent camera and learn how to take good photos. There are local communities, online resources and even workshops you can attend. If you become good enough maybe you can eventually have a side photography business.

[Anonymous]

I’m having the same thoughts … would like to find something with my new found time. I’m thinking about keeping it simple and trying a new dish to cook and inviting some friends over. After that, I may look at another couple things like mediation and decluttering. So not really hobbies but things to try.