Looking for a "thing" at midlife

[Anonymous]

I need a hobby or passion. I'm 44. I have interests and hobbies, but nothing I"m super passionate about other than being a mom. But I feel that making that my life's purpose is dangerous. Kids grow up. They are their own people.

I work and like my job, but it's kind of corporate and when I'm not doing it, I don't think about it at all.

I think it needs to be something I can do on my own or with others, and that I could spend money on but could also do relatively cheaply. Like I could go on a one week retreat to do it in a foreign country, but could also do it locally by just going to a class or meet up once a week, or setting up a little space in my home to do it.

Anyone have ideas? I know some are obvious -- yoga, gardening, some kind of art or textile craft. But I'm not sure those sound right to me. I like yoga but I don't know if I love it enough to be one of those people who does it daily. I don't have a ton of space for gardening. I crochet but it's just a way to keep my hands busy.

I know I'm being really broad here. I just need ideas. I'm feeling adrift.

[Anonymous]

Try to earn some small amount of money from a hobby. Even if it's a token amount, and costs more than it earns. Or how about local politics, like attending meetings and running for some council position. Or how about volunteering someplace?

[Anonymous]

PTA organizing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try to earn some small amount of money from a hobby. Even if it's a token amount, and costs more than it earns. Or how about local politics, like attending meetings and running for some council position. Or how about volunteering someplace?

I would love something I could earn a small amount of money from, even if it was still a net expense.

I think I'm looking for something that might provide me with some validation, like "ok I'm good at this." Even if it's not something I'll ever do for a living or that could ever sustain me.

Any ideas for things in this category?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PTA organizing?

I think I need something more self-focused. My work and parenting are very focused on helping others meet their needs, and I do some volunteer work as well, but I think I need something in my life that is just about fulfilling myself.

[Anonymous]

Photography
Genealogy
Indoor plants
Music of any kind
Stained glass
Making crossword puzzles
Little outfits for premature babies
Anything handmade for the less fortunate, from sweaters to toiletry kits
Aquarium or terrarium

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PTA organizing?

I think OP is looking for something that will go beyond her kids living in her home- PTA after elementary is very limited and obviously non existent when they go to college.

What about trying out a community art class, tennis class, pickleball, baking/pastry class, etc?

[Anonymous]

Writing of any type but especially fiction. There are reading/editing groups, conferences, etc.

[Anonymous]

Good to diversify. I had a friend whose entire life was her kids. Then they grew up and started their own lives, and she was crushed.

How about helping out where you can make a real impact? For example, work at a food bank or there's a group (forgot the name) that helps the migrants that TX and FL governors ship to DC. You'll probably find it very fulfilling to see the impact you can make. I worked once at a place that handed out food bundles to people who drove up, and it was really rewarding (but also emotionally draining).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to earn some small amount of money from a hobby. Even if it's a token amount, and costs more than it earns. Or how about local politics, like attending meetings and running for some council position. Or how about volunteering someplace?

I would love something I could earn a small amount of money from, even if it was still a net expense.

I think I'm looking for something that might provide me with some validation, like "ok I'm good at this." Even if it's not something I'll ever do for a living or that could ever sustain me.

Any ideas for things in this category?

Writing and online self-publishing novels? Some people do well with cheap sales on Amazon in certain genres (romance, fantasy, horror, etc).

For a while my mom got really into canning and tried to make a business out of it, but food businesses are tough.

It really depends on what you like!

[Anonymous]

PP again, check out paper piece quilting.

[Anonymous]

Gardening but something very specific and maybe environmentally focused like

- native plants
- microclimates
- watershed gardens
- salad gardens
- square foot gardening
- different types of composting, vermicomposting
- hill gardening
- raising chickens or goats
- join a CSA that allow volunteering

Other ideas - hobbies that you can take with you into older age:

chess
woodworking
knitting
cooking - canning, preserving, baking, decorating
hiking- orienteering
geneology
instrument playing
learn a new language
investing
antiquing

[Anonymous]

Are you looking for exercise, mental stimulation, outdoor time? Tango, salsa, swing are big in the dmv area and have festivals all over. Pickle ball has certainly become a thing. Tennis still has this too. Golf - some groups are friendlier and less corporate. Skiing/hiking has some great women bonding groups.

[Anonymous]

I also need a thing besides music, which is my thing. Following this for ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for exercise, mental stimulation, outdoor time? Tango, salsa, swing are big in the dmv area and have festivals all over. Pickle ball has certainly become a thing. Tennis still has this too. Golf - some groups are friendlier and less corporate. Skiing/hiking has some great women bonding groups.

OP here. Exercise and outdoor time could be good. I worry pickle ball might just be a fad and die out, and I want something I can do a long time. Not sure tennis/golf are for me (may just lack the hand/eye coordination to be any good at them).

Do you know of any women's hiking groups in the DMV? How do people find these?