The term ‘push present’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's traditional in your culture, then by all means, carry on. If it's not traditional, as in most of the US, asking for a push present is tacky and greedy. It's like a payment for having a baby. So transactional and gross.

In the cultures where it’s common it’s also like a payment for a baby, dumbass.

Good that so many cultures honor the risk and sacrifice. Sad that others act like this about the concept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's traditional in your culture, then by all means, carry on. If it's not traditional, as in most of the US, asking for a push present is tacky and greedy. It's like a payment for having a baby. So transactional and gross.

I think it’s reasonably traditional in the US to buy a durable gift like jewelry to commemorate the birth of a child.

The baby IS the gift.

The ultimate gift, to both parents.

That is how I see it anyway.

Sure. But the gift costs the non gestating parent far, far more, including stretch marks, tearing, risk of surgery, and risk of death.

That’s why the tradition arose, hundreds of years before now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's traditional in your culture, then by all means, carry on. If it's not traditional, as in most of the US, asking for a push present is tacky and greedy. It's like a payment for having a baby. So transactional and gross.

In the cultures where it’s common it’s also like a payment for a baby, dumbass.

Good that so many cultures honor the risk and sacrifice. Sad that others act like this about the concept.

Hahaha but +1

[Anonymous]

DCUM’s heads would spin off if y’all knew about my husband’s family traditions about bride prices. You think paying for a baby is bad? You should see the haul I got for marrying into the family! Rings, earrings, bracelets, all topped off with a 10 ct diamond tennis necklace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's traditional in your culture, then by all means, carry on. If it's not traditional, as in most of the US, asking for a push present is tacky and greedy. It's like a payment for having a baby. So transactional and gross.

I think it’s reasonably traditional in the US to buy a durable gift like jewelry to commemorate the birth of a child.

The baby IS the gift.

The ultimate gift, to both parents.

That is how I see it anyway.

Sure. But the gift costs the non gestating parent far, far more, including stretch marks, tearing, risk of surgery, and risk of death.

That’s why the tradition arose, hundreds of years before now.

Yeah, while the event itself is a major life event for both parents if they both intend to raise the child, I think we can safely give credit for the actual birthing to the moms on this one. And, sure, the “baby is the gift” but the marriage is the gift and we still do engagement/wedding rings. I say let people who want to do this do it in peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's traditional in your culture, then by all means, carry on. If it's not traditional, as in most of the US, asking for a push present is tacky and greedy. It's like a payment for having a baby. So transactional and gross.

I think it’s reasonably traditional in the US to buy a durable gift like jewelry to commemorate the birth of a child.

The baby IS the gift.

The ultimate gift, to both parents.

That is how I see it anyway.

Sure. But the gift costs the non gestating parent far, far more, including stretch marks, tearing, risk of surgery, and risk of death.

That’s why the tradition arose, hundreds of years before now.

Yeah, while the event itself is a major life event for both parents if they both intend to raise the child, I think we can safely give credit for the actual birthing to the moms on this one. And, sure, the “baby is the gift” but the marriage is the gift and we still do engagement/wedding rings. I say let people who want to do this do it in peace.

Have you seen the chairs we have to sleep in though? Shared sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM’s heads would spin off if y’all knew about my husband’s family traditions about bride prices. You think paying for a baby is bad? You should see the haul I got for marrying into the family! Rings, earrings, bracelets, all topped off with a 10 ct diamond tennis necklace.

What happens to all that if you divorce him?

[Anonymous]

It’s not the giving a gift, it’s the term ‘push present’ that makes it feel like something expected - not a nice to have. That’s what makes it tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not the giving a gift, it’s the term ‘push present’ that makes it feel like something expected - not a nice to have. That’s what makes it tacky.

Which is why it’s such an ugly re-brand of an ancient concept and people should be ashamed of themselves for falling for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM’s heads would spin off if y’all knew about my husband’s family traditions about bride prices. You think paying for a baby is bad? You should see the haul I got for marrying into the family! Rings, earrings, bracelets, all topped off with a 10 ct diamond tennis necklace.

What happens to all that if you divorce him?

It stays mine. That’s sort of the idea. It’s something to walk away with if the marriage falls apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's gross and the whole phenomenon is gross.

The best present a DH can give his wife is to be a hands-on dad, in the early days and beyond. Take initiative, do the work, stay up, and support mom.

But I suppose the women using these terms and asking for a "push present" are the same women who think that a big ring will make them happy. It's just so odd and misplaced.

Why not both? My husband has done 90% of the nighttime wake-ups since day one AND bought me a lovely diamond necklace to commemorate the birth of our son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's gross and the whole phenomenon is gross.

The best present a DH can give his wife is to be a hands-on dad, in the early days and beyond. Take initiative, do the work, stay up, and support mom.

But I suppose the women using these terms and asking for a "push present" are the same women who think that a big ring will make them happy. It's just so odd and misplaced.

Why not both? My husband has done 90% of the nighttime wake-ups since day one AND bought me a lovely diamond necklace to commemorate the birth of our son.

I’d bet the grateful, happy fathers usually are both. It’s the dads who think kids are something women want more than men who are going to roll their eyes at baby gifts then sleep through night feedings.

[Anonymous]

The name is so tacky. Back when I had babies 14-16 years ago, we used the term “baby bauble.” Then, the Instagrammers came along and made “push present” a thing. Boo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys are assuming that women are forcing men to buy these gifts.

My Dh picked out a diamond pendant all on his own and gave it to me in the hospital. He gave it after all the excitement had died down and it was just the 3 of us cuddling the baby.

I guess I should have given it back because the baby is the gift and show how ungrateful I was.

Wow we are all so shocked a DH could buy jewelry "all on his own"!

Did he call it a push present? This chain is about that term

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The name is so tacky. Back when I had babies 14-16 years ago, we used the term “baby bauble.” Then, the Instagrammers came along and made “push present” a thing. Boo!

Nah. The term precedes social media.