Is $500 the new standard gift for a wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spend $100 for me or $200 for us as a couple.

These days we are often paying $1000+ to attend a wedding between the flights and hotels for multiple day events and an increasing number of destination weddings. I’m not going to also gift $500, lol.

If I'm paying $1K+ to attend a destination wedding, there will be no cash gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spend $100 for me or $200 for us as a couple.

These days we are often paying $1000+ to attend a wedding between the flights and hotels for multiple day events and an increasing number of destination weddings. I’m not going to also gift $500, lol.

If I'm paying $1K+ to attend a destination wedding, there will be no cash gift.

What if it's a destination for you but it's just in town for the host?

[Anonymous]

I knew someone who bragged about "covering his plate" but gave a gift on the low end for my wedding. I didn't mind the gift, but the bragging was.. in character.

I give more when the wedding is cheaper (per head), because that's a recipient who is wise with money. If bride's daddy is paying $100K, I'm donating to charity in their honor.

[Anonymous]

Also, are people giving amounts per guest or per guest couple?

Also,.what about 2nd wedding?

15 years ago, my parents' well off friends gave $400 per couple attending.

If you are going to the wedding as a guest of the parents, and the bride or groom aren't for friends, you should cover your plate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should give 300

No, I *should* drink less, eat more vegetables, and stop swearing so much.

But there is no *should* when it comes to gifts. Gifts are entirely optional and 100% at the discretion of the giver.

I've been to many weddings -- from simple backyard affairs to four-day $500K extravaganzas. The amount spent on the event, the amount I spent to dress/get there has nothing to do with how much I give the couple. Our relationship is the only thing that matters.

And this thread just reminded me that the couple who hosted the four-day extravaganza still hasn't sent a thank you note. That factors into future gifts.

Did you send a thank you note for the extravaganza?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spend $100 for me or $200 for us as a couple.

These days we are often paying $1000+ to attend a wedding between the flights and hotels for multiple day events and an increasing number of destination weddings. I’m not going to also gift $500, lol.

If I'm paying $1K+ to attend a destination wedding, there will be no cash gift.

What if it's a destination for you but it's just in town for the host?

That's different, but unlikely to cost $1K+.

[Anonymous]

Also are some of you attending 20 wedding per year and some attending 2?

Maybe you are realizing that weddings are too obscene expensive in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spend $100 for me or $200 for us as a couple.

These days we are often paying $1000+ to attend a wedding between the flights and hotels for multiple day events and an increasing number of destination weddings. I’m not going to also gift $500, lol.

If I'm paying $1K+ to attend a destination wedding, there will be no cash gift.

You would be an extreme outlier then. But go you!

[Anonymous]

My DD got married 4 years ago. Many of our friends are fairly well off. Their friends were 25-30ish. The received $500+ gifts from a few people. The norm was more in the $100-250 range. A few people gave no gift. DD also had 2 showers (no overlap in guests) so received registry gifts at those.

I tend to give $250 to kids of friends, $500 for relatives.

[Anonymous]

What if you don’t go to the wedding? I was invited to an out of state wedding in a few weeks. I think I got the invite because my cousin and I attend a funeral and his fiancé, who I met for the first time and I spoke for awhile at the after dinner and the next morning. I hadn’t seen or spoke to the groom (my cousin) in many years, but I’m close to his sister. I was going to spend $150. Cheap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering this also. Do you take into account venue/expense of the wedding or just the relationship?

The amount of the gift is dependent upon my relationship with the bride and groom. The cost of the wedding is irrelevant.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you don’t go to the wedding? I was invited to an out of state wedding in a few weeks. I think I got the invite because my cousin and I attend a funeral and his fiancé, who I met for the first time and I spoke for awhile at the after dinner and the next morning. I hadn’t seen or spoke to the groom (my cousin) in many years, but I’m close to his sister. I was going to spend $150. Cheap?

You are only obligated to send a gift if your are also invited to the reception. This "cover your plate" is new and it is common and tacky you cannot afford a reception, don't have one. I do not give cash gifts ever.

[Anonymous]

We just went to a friend's wedding and gave $300.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is highly dependent on your social class, which is why everyone is talking past each other.

What? I didn’t realize everyone was given a social class they are dependent on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you don’t go to the wedding? I was invited to an out of state wedding in a few weeks. I think I got the invite because my cousin and I attend a funeral and his fiancé, who I met for the first time and I spoke for awhile at the after dinner and the next morning. I hadn’t seen or spoke to the groom (my cousin) in many years, but I’m close to his sister. I was going to spend $150. Cheap?

Not cheap at all.