Theoretically, if you could have three kids each 10 years apart (so, for example, having the, at 24, 34 & 44) would you?

[Anonymous]

Not exactly that, but my 4 siblings and I are spaced out over around 22 years. Biggest gap is 13 years. Why would it be so terrible? It’s better (easier) than having a bunch of kids super close in age.

[Anonymous]

I've posted this before in another thread: my neighbor had her kids 20 years apart. Twins at 20, and a singleton at 40. The family is over the moon. The twins attended their new sibling's birth. They are a wonderful close family.

[Anonymous]

I had my kids at 26, 32, and 41. It was pretty "easy" since each kid was in school before the next came along. When the 3rd was born I stopped working outside the home and any pressure that was there before dissipated. I like the age spread.

[Anonymous]

Mine will be 10 and 15/5 years apart.

1) Had very young, bad relationship. Took a long time to find the right man.

2) Was easily conceived

3) We're on loss 5, year 2 of infertility of no known origin. At the earliest #2 and #3 might be 5 years apart.

I love the spacing of #1 and #2. #1 frequently babysits and enjoys it because teenager would rather stay home than go out anyway. I'm not happy about the spacing between #2 and 3 because I'd like to have been done having kids but I can't control that situation. Pn the positive, I will never know what it is like to parent two very young kids.

[Anonymous]

Not at 44. Now at almost 48, the last thing I want is to run around with a toddler or preschooler that is not my grandchild or niece /nephew - after doing that already twice. Now if I started at 16 or 17, so 17, 27 & 37, then may be. But I think it’s more realistic for most people who are able to control it, to have either 3 close together (1-4 years apart) or two close together and then another baby 6-10 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:38 years of active parenting? No way.

This is what gets me. I hear what people are saying about spacing out the cost and the "hard parts", but the idea of having young children dependent on me for that long just sounds exhausting. That might be a reflection of dynamics in my own family (I have one kid who is particularly high needs, and a partner who absolutely tries to share parenting equally but also has some selective hearing/attention and learned ineptitude that contributes to me being the primary parent).

I love my kids and am grateful every day for the experience of being a mother, but there is also a part of me that thinks about the independence I'll gain when they are grown and looks forward to that phase of my life, and I can't imagine having to wait 40 years for it.

[Anonymous]

God no. You'd spend your whole life child rearing. from 24 - at least 64.

[Anonymous]

No…though my parents had two pairs of kids, about ten years apart…so my youngest sibling is nearly 14 years younger. But that’s quite enough.

[Anonymous]

My coworker had 2 close together then a 6 year gap then 2 more close together. Worked well for Them.

[Anonymous]

No way! I have a 14 and nearly 11 year old. 46 and could not imagine running after a twi year old!

[Anonymous]

Yes! In fact, this is about to become my reality. I am about to have 3 each spaced 10 years apart: one born in 2003, one in 2013, and one due the beginning of 2024. I would love to have another in 2033/34 also. I will be 46 then, so we’ll see.

[Anonymous]

As adults I’m close to my sister 7 years younger and sister 6 years older.

My first two are six years apart, perfect for me. Now a third 12 years later.

There’s a big difference in my energy level. I had more than enough energy for the first two and not enough for third. I feel guilty about that.

[Anonymous]

This is my family. I assure you, active parenting stops. The oldest is more of an uncle than brother. The youngest getting the shaft from parents ready to retire.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids and #1 & 2 are 15 years apart. I wish the gap wasn’t so large but I had trouble getting pregnant with 2nd one.

[Anonymous]

Oh dear god no. By the time my second was out of diapers and sleeping through the night, I had zero desire to ever go through the infant years again. I can't imagine getting all the way up to the independence of late elementary, and then starting all over with a new infant. And then doing that yet another time?? Nope nope nope. I like having my kids go through similar stages right after each other.

Plus, DH's family has siblings spread out over a 16-year range. The older ones basically raised the babies. Seems unfair to the teens in that scenario, he was adamant about not doing that to our kids and I agree.