Theoretically, if you could have three kids each 10 years apart (so, for example, having the, at 24, 34 & 44) would you?
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Anonymous
| I know someone who was in this situation. When I met her the kids were 9, 19, and 29. She and her DH had struggled with infertility after the first, who they had in college. They were delighted to have the second and the third was a major surprise when the mom was around 40. They are a very happy, if eccentric, family. |
Anonymous
As if any of those men were involved in childrearing, or even living in the same house as their children. |
Anonymous
| Absolutely not. I can’t imagine being deep in the baby years AND parenting a new teen simultaneously. Frankly I had mine close together so that once I was done with diapers, I was done forever. |
Anonymous
|
That's apparently what I'm trying to do. Had one in my 20s, 30s, and now trying again in my 40s. I wanted each of them to have my practically undivided attention as babies. I love the baby stage, I don't mind waking up 6 times a night, I don't mind changing diapers, etc. Adolescence is NOT the most comfortable stage (toddlerhood compared to it is such a sweet time), but it's reassuring to see them become responsible, caring adults, and it's exciting to see them grow aware of the wide open world and the role they can play in it. College is criminally expensive. Thank goodness I can afford it, but it's not right that a lot of privates are now 85K+ a year. |
Anonymous
| Definitely not. I had mine in my early-mid 30s and when I see some of my friends still raising high schoolers in their 60's I can't imagine it. Not saying anything about older mothers, just can't imagine being an active parent for 40 years!! Also the siblings wouldn't really be close - my DH is 12 years younger than his next oldest sibling and they were more like aunts than siblings. Even how they are really at different generational stages. |
Anonymous
| ^ my first two have a close bond despite the age difference. For me it's the best of both worlds: they are parented as only kids, but they do appreciate their sibling, because they're too far apart to fight over possessions or parental attention. |
Anonymous
| Absolutely not. DH had a vasectomy after 7 years of secondary infertility to avoid just that. Once we were done with the little kid years, we were done done. |
Anonymous
| No, that sounds terrible. My kids are 8, 6, and infant and even the gap between the Ginger’s two feels big. Why on earth would anyone do what you suggest, OP? |
Anonymous
| No way. Mine are 5 years apart, and I wouldn't want them any further than that. I like to do the parenting somewhat close together. |
Anonymous
| If that was the only way I could have three kids, I guess so. But mine are each 3.5 years apart and sometimes I feel like that’s too far - into different things at different times, potty training totally done and then starting back with a newborn again etc. We wanted them closer together, but it didn’t happen for us, so if it had taken 10 years, I guess we would have been thrilled to have another child at all! |
Anonymous
| I have 8 years between my oldest and my twins, and then I have 6 years between my twins and my youngest. It's been interesting. I can say that the bookends, 14 years apart, didn't become close until they were adults - they'd hardly known each other. |
Anonymous
| I am 12 years older than my sibling. We are good friends. |
Anonymous
A former co-worker did this on purpose for this very reason. He and his wife had three daughters, each 8 years apart. |
Anonymous
| Absolutely not. We have twins and we LOVE it. I can't fathom having three kids 10 years apart. My brother and I were 9.5 years apart and it was hard to be close once I left for college and he was only 8. |
Anonymous
|
Oh hell no. You'd be parenting for like 50 years. Your kids would have weird relationships with each other. You'd be paying for college for two solid decades.
Though also, I should note -- I would never have 3 kids. Two tops, I have never, ever wanted 3 kids. |