Sole breadwinner 350k/yr

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

You are trying to say that a 700k dual income household is the same as a 350k single income household?
No way. This is so far from the reality.

I'm saying it's not that different from a 1 earner $350k and public school vs. 2 earners, $750k and taxes and private schools.

Agree with the above. In fact we are contemplating this right now. Currently around 550k HHI with 1 in private and another one about to start private in a high income tax state (CA), with an Au Pair. We have run the numbers and it would be financially feasible and potential better for our quality of life to move to a state with no income tax, I’d become a SAHP, send our kids to a good public, and my spouse (who works remote) would become the sole breadwinner on a 350k income.

Where are these states with no income tax and good public schools? Certainly not Florida - you need to send your DC to private school if you want a decent environment (i.e., soap and toilet paper).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

You are trying to say that a 700k dual income household is the same as a 350k single income household?
No way. This is so far from the reality.

I'm saying it's not that different from a 1 earner $350k and public school vs. 2 earners, $750k and taxes and private schools.

And I think you’re right. I quit my biglaw counsel job and our finances are basically exactly the same as before. After income taxes, convenience taxes, childcare, commuting costs, etc, we are almost exactly where we started.

Not a “numerically-challenged SAHM.” This is just our reality.

You are numerically-challenged because you don’t realize that expensive childcare is short-term expense (unless you keep popping out brats every 5 years to justify your existence) whereas retirement and other savings compound in the long-term.

Also, if your entire salary was eaten up by the things you mentioned, either you were paid crap, or you budgeted like crap.

You are nasty. Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

75-100k for childcare?! When we did this we had an au pair and part time preschool. It was way less than that even counting pre-tax.

NP but this is unfortunately easily doable if you opt for expensive but not outrageous options. our last year for 4 and 1 yo: 65k+ nanny salary and nanny taxes. 16K morning pre-K for older DC during school year, 4K morning summer camp for older DC.

Sure, but most people don’t need 55hrs a week of childcare. Our peak Weald an Aupair which cost us all in 30k and part time preschool through a local church for about $600/mo. We threw in a few summer camps for another 5k.

Spending what you describe is bananas. Not all high earning dual income families need outrageously long childcare hours.

Right, but you have described 40k in annual childcare expenses, then add commuting, outsourcing household work etc and you are probably still spending more than half of one take home salary on that stuff (if you’re both in the 300s).

GMAFB. Commuting and outsourcing household work cost you more than $100k?

No, but adding childcare, commuting, and outsourcing does add up A LOT. And many people who work higher paying jobs need more childcare hours/time than the PP who is paying only $30k for an au pair. If you are paying a nanny a living wage, and above board, and need more than 40 hours of care/week, which is many working parents, bc at a minimum you are adding your commute time to that 40 hours you are working and the nanny has to be paid for that time too, so you’re paying that nanny 40 hours plus some overtime every single week. So you can easily spend $60k in a year on the childcare alone. I’m not trying to make a case that one should or shouldn’t work, but I think on this issue; both sides are obtuse. The working parents downplay the impact of loss of time with kids and the costs associated with having 2 working parents. The SAHM parents over estimate the costs of working, and overly weight the time they spend with their children, as if they are somehow superior for being with the kids more.

No one is “right”

The premise of the OP is that her spouse should be earning $350k. I value the work of a SAHP, but it’s ridiculous to state that the monetary value of SAHP services even comes close. I think it’s more like $50-70k, all in (that’s if the SAHP cooks and cleans themselves). Au pairs, babysitters, backup care, cleaning services don’t ever add up to the salary of a professional career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this sounds stupid but it’s depressing to think that I could have married someone making my salary and we’d have a 700k HHI. On 350k there are so many nice houses out of reach that would be affordable on two of my incomes.

Who's the lucky guy contractually obligated to OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

You are trying to say that a 700k dual income household is the same as a 350k single income household?
No way. This is so far from the reality.

I'm saying it's not that different from a 1 earner $350k and public school vs. 2 earners, $750k and taxes and private schools.

Agree with the above. In fact we are contemplating this right now. Currently around 550k HHI with 1 in private and another one about to start private in a high income tax state (CA), with an Au Pair. We have run the numbers and it would be financially feasible and potential better for our quality of life to move to a state with no income tax, I’d become a SAHP, send our kids to a good public, and my spouse (who works remote) would become the sole breadwinner on a 350k income.

Where are these states with no income tax and good public schools? Certainly not Florida - you need to send your DC to private school if you want a decent environment (i.e., soap and toilet paper).

There absolutely are good schools in Florida! I don’t understand how someone can think that in such a large state there aren’t any decent public school districts. How do you end up so ignorant and uneducated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

75-100k for childcare?! When we did this we had an au pair and part time preschool. It was way less than that even counting pre-tax.

NP but this is unfortunately easily doable if you opt for expensive but not outrageous options. our last year for 4 and 1 yo: 65k+ nanny salary and nanny taxes. 16K morning pre-K for older DC during school year, 4K morning summer camp for older DC.

Sure, but most people don’t need 55hrs a week of childcare. Our peak Weald an Aupair which cost us all in 30k and part time preschool through a local church for about $600/mo. We threw in a few summer camps for another 5k.

Spending what you describe is bananas. Not all high earning dual income families need outrageously long childcare hours.

Right, but you have described 40k in annual childcare expenses, then add commuting, outsourcing household work etc and you are probably still spending more than half of one take home salary on that stuff (if you’re both in the 300s).

GMAFB. Commuting and outsourcing household work cost you more than $100k?

No, but adding childcare, commuting, and outsourcing does add up A LOT. And many people who work higher paying jobs need more childcare hours/time than the PP who is paying only $30k for an au pair. If you are paying a nanny a living wage, and above board, and need more than 40 hours of care/week, which is many working parents, bc at a minimum you are adding your commute time to that 40 hours you are working and the nanny has to be paid for that time too, so you’re paying that nanny 40 hours plus some overtime every single week. So you can easily spend $60k in a year on the childcare alone. I’m not trying to make a case that one should or shouldn’t work, but I think on this issue; both sides are obtuse. The working parents downplay the impact of loss of time with kids and the costs associated with having 2 working parents. The SAHM parents over estimate the costs of working, and overly weight the time they spend with their children, as if they are somehow superior for being with the kids more.

No one is “right”

The premise of the OP is that her spouse should be earning $350k. I value the work of a SAHP, but it’s ridiculous to state that the monetary value of SAHP services even comes close. I think it’s more like $50-70k, all in (that’s if the SAHP cooks and cleans themselves). Au pairs, babysitters, backup care, cleaning services don’t ever add up to the salary of a professional career.

Not to mention that childcare is for a limited amount of time and you absolutely lose out on the time value of money by not working for a number of years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

You are trying to say that a 700k dual income household is the same as a 350k single income household?
No way. This is so far from the reality.

I'm saying it's not that different from a 1 earner $350k and public school vs. 2 earners, $750k and taxes and private schools.

Agree with the above. In fact we are contemplating this right now. Currently around 550k HHI with 1 in private and another one about to start private in a high income tax state (CA), with an Au Pair. We have run the numbers and it would be financially feasible and potential better for our quality of life to move to a state with no income tax, I’d become a SAHP, send our kids to a good public, and my spouse (who works remote) would become the sole breadwinner on a 350k income.

Where are these states with no income tax and good public schools? Certainly not Florida - you need to send your DC to private school if you want a decent environment (i.e., soap and toilet paper).

There absolutely are good schools in Florida! I don’t understand how someone can think that in such a large state there aren’t any decent public school districts. How do you end up so ignorant and uneducated?

Adding that not only does Florida have good public schools, but it has solid in-state colleges. UF is an excellent school and wait for it…tuition is $7k a year. Not only would you not have to pay for private school k-12, but you could avoid having to save much at all in 529s. Similar story in Texas.

[Anonymous]

I do think that one $350k salary in a location with good public schools and an in-state flagship college or two is = two earners making 700k in a HCOL location requiring private school and large 529 savings. The caveat is not having 2 large 401ks, but if you have no or low state income tax and a paid off house then it matters a lot less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

You are trying to say that a 700k dual income household is the same as a 350k single income household?
No way. This is so far from the reality.

I'm saying it's not that different from a 1 earner $350k and public school vs. 2 earners, $750k and taxes and private schools.

Agree with the above. In fact we are contemplating this right now. Currently around 550k HHI with 1 in private and another one about to start private in a high income tax state (CA), with an Au Pair. We have run the numbers and it would be financially feasible and potential better for our quality of life to move to a state with no income tax, I’d become a SAHP, send our kids to a good public, and my spouse (who works remote) would become the sole breadwinner on a 350k income.

Where are these states with no income tax and good public schools? Certainly not Florida - you need to send your DC to private school if you want a decent environment (i.e., soap and toilet paper).

There absolutely are good schools in Florida! I don’t understand how someone can think that in such a large state there aren’t any decent public school districts. How do you end up so ignorant and uneducated?

Your argument is a bit crass and rude. But anyway, let me explain this to you. There are very few outliers, Pineview comes to mind. Overall though, Florida public schools are underfunded. The teaching methods in Miami, the largest school district are antiquated - rote memorization, teachers just reading from slides, etc. Teachers are overworked and overwhelmed, yet underpaid. Some “excellent” schools have no soap and toilet paper (school that my friend’s DS attends, top school). The equipment is a joke - one functioning copy machine for a school of 1100 kids. Math books arriving months after school starts. Disintegrating furniture in the teacher’s offices (saw with my own eyes, absolutely shameful). This is from top schools, in terms of program and test scores. Yes - the kids learned a lot of material, but is it ok to have 35 kids in second grade? In a tiny classroom? No. It’s not. Is it ok for you, if your smart but quiet and well behaved DC gets ignored for years, because the teachers only pay attention to the ones who misbehave? Also, if your DC is used to MC or UMC diet at home, you’ll be packing lunch each day, because the lunch they serve isn’t what you’d want your DC to eat.

[Anonymous]

We were double biglaw for a bunch of years, then double other corporate jobs making about 700 total. The other jobs were also high stress like biglaw. It was a mess and indirectly led to our divorce.

Your mileage may vary

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make around $310K and my husband makes around $325, but will monetize his promotion in January and probably make closer to $400K. When I've wanted a higher HHI in the past, which is reasonable because we have three kids and live in a HCOL area, I've asked for promotions and at the same time also hustled for better paying jobs. Since I graduated form grad school in 2015 I've jumped from making $71K to $95K (promotion) to $129K (job change) to $310K (job change) and I'm interviewing for a job right now that will pay around $435K. I may actually make more than my husband soon, which is something I never ever imagined! If you want something it's fair to talk to your spouse about getting a better paying job, but you also need to focus on getting promotions or better paying jobs. See how far you and your spouse can climb together, supporting one another. It's far easier to hustle for a better paying job than it is to get a divorce and search for someone who makes the equivalent salary to you.

How did you jump from $130k to $310k???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

You are trying to say that a 700k dual income household is the same as a 350k single income household?
No way. This is so far from the reality.

I'm saying it's not that different from a 1 earner $350k and public school vs. 2 earners, $750k and taxes and private schools.

Agree with the above. In fact we are contemplating this right now. Currently around 550k HHI with 1 in private and another one about to start private in a high income tax state (CA), with an Au Pair. We have run the numbers and it would be financially feasible and potential better for our quality of life to move to a state with no income tax, I’d become a SAHP, send our kids to a good public, and my spouse (who works remote) would become the sole breadwinner on a 350k income.

Where are these states with no income tax and good public schools? Certainly not Florida - you need to send your DC to private school if you want a decent environment (i.e., soap and toilet paper).

There absolutely are good schools in Florida! I don’t understand how someone can think that in such a large state there aren’t any decent public school districts. How do you end up so ignorant and uneducated?

Your argument is a bit crass and rude. But anyway, let me explain this to you. There are very few outliers, Pineview comes to mind. Overall though, Florida public schools are underfunded. The teaching methods in Miami, the largest school district are antiquated - rote memorization, teachers just reading from slides, etc. Teachers are overworked and overwhelmed, yet underpaid. Some “excellent” schools have no soap and toilet paper (school that my friend’s DS attends, top school). The equipment is a joke - one functioning copy machine for a school of 1100 kids. Math books arriving months after school starts. Disintegrating furniture in the teacher’s offices (saw with my own eyes, absolutely shameful). This is from top schools, in terms of program and test scores. Yes - the kids learned a lot of material, but is it ok to have 35 kids in second grade? In a tiny classroom? No. It’s not. Is it ok for you, if your smart but quiet and well behaved DC gets ignored for years, because the teachers only pay attention to the ones who misbehave? Also, if your DC is used to MC or UMC diet at home, you’ll be packing lunch each day, because the lunch they serve isn’t what you’d want your DC to eat.

Wow it’s shocking the schools are bad in Miami. Can you even identify any large cities in the US with good school districts? Newsflash: Good public schools mostly come down to kids having educated and married parents. Let’s assume the schools in Florida are all like the schools in Miami.

There actually are plenty of outliers in Florida in terms of good school districts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

You are trying to say that a 700k dual income household is the same as a 350k single income household?
No way. This is so far from the reality.

I'm saying it's not that different from a 1 earner $350k and public school vs. 2 earners, $750k and taxes and private schools.

Agree with the above. In fact we are contemplating this right now. Currently around 550k HHI with 1 in private and another one about to start private in a high income tax state (CA), with an Au Pair. We have run the numbers and it would be financially feasible and potential better for our quality of life to move to a state with no income tax, I’d become a SAHP, send our kids to a good public, and my spouse (who works remote) would become the sole breadwinner on a 350k income.

Where are these states with no income tax and good public schools? Certainly not Florida - you need to send your DC to private school if you want a decent environment (i.e., soap and toilet paper).

There absolutely are good schools in Florida! I don’t understand how someone can think that in such a large state there aren’t any decent public school districts. How do you end up so ignorant and uneducated?

Your argument is a bit crass and rude. But anyway, let me explain this to you. There are very few outliers, Pineview comes to mind. Overall though, Florida public schools are underfunded. The teaching methods in Miami, the largest school district are antiquated - rote memorization, teachers just reading from slides, etc. Teachers are overworked and overwhelmed, yet underpaid. Some “excellent” schools have no soap and toilet paper (school that my friend’s DS attends, top school). The equipment is a joke - one functioning copy machine for a school of 1100 kids. Math books arriving months after school starts. Disintegrating furniture in the teacher’s offices (saw with my own eyes, absolutely shameful). This is from top schools, in terms of program and test scores. Yes - the kids learned a lot of material, but is it ok to have 35 kids in second grade? In a tiny classroom? No. It’s not. Is it ok for you, if your smart but quiet and well behaved DC gets ignored for years, because the teachers only pay attention to the ones who misbehave? Also, if your DC is used to MC or UMC diet at home, you’ll be packing lunch each day, because the lunch they serve isn’t what you’d want your DC to eat.

Here’s a link to the top 10 public school districts in Florida. St Johns is #1.

https://www.niche.com/k12/search/best-school-districts/s/florida/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

100%. More to life than just high HHI. $350k with one SAHP can be a great life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

75-100k for childcare?! When we did this we had an au pair and part time preschool. It was way less than that even counting pre-tax.

NP but this is unfortunately easily doable if you opt for expensive but not outrageous options. our last year for 4 and 1 yo: 65k+ nanny salary and nanny taxes. 16K morning pre-K for older DC during school year, 4K morning summer camp for older DC.

Sure, but most people don’t need 55hrs a week of childcare. Our peak Weald an Aupair which cost us all in 30k and part time preschool through a local church for about $600/mo. We threw in a few summer camps for another 5k.

Spending what you describe is bananas. Not all high earning dual income families need outrageously long childcare hours.

Right, but you have described 40k in annual childcare expenses, then add commuting, outsourcing household work etc and you are probably still spending more than half of one take home salary on that stuff (if you’re both in the 300s).

GMAFB. Commuting and outsourcing household work cost you more than $100k?

No, but adding childcare, commuting, and outsourcing does add up A LOT. And many people who work higher paying jobs need more childcare hours/time than the PP who is paying only $30k for an au pair. If you are paying a nanny a living wage, and above board, and need more than 40 hours of care/week, which is many working parents, bc at a minimum you are adding your commute time to that 40 hours you are working and the nanny has to be paid for that time too, so you’re paying that nanny 40 hours plus some overtime every single week. So you can easily spend $60k in a year on the childcare alone. I’m not trying to make a case that one should or shouldn’t work, but I think on this issue; both sides are obtuse. The working parents downplay the impact of loss of time with kids and the costs associated with having 2 working parents. The SAHM parents over estimate the costs of working, and overly weight the time they spend with their children, as if they are somehow superior for being with the kids more.

No one is “right”

The premise of the OP is that her spouse should be earning $350k. I value the work of a SAHP, but it’s ridiculous to state that the monetary value of SAHP services even comes close. I think it’s more like $50-70k, all in (that’s if the SAHP cooks and cleans themselves). Au pairs, babysitters, backup care, cleaning services don’t ever add up to the salary of a professional career.

Salary plus taxes plus working costs plus outsourcing needed because there’s no time for the working parent to do it.