Do room parents get preferential treatment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is normal and I don't have a problem with it. I'd like to chaperone if they have space, but the room parents do extra stuff and should get to be first in line for this kind of thing.
- Not a room parent

+1

Teachers also pick parents who will definitely show up. You’d be surprised at how often parents will bail at the last minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes room parents get first dibs on field trip chaperoning. If you don't like that - be a room parent.

Uh, no. Room parents deserve zero preference. In reality the teacher should be including different parents on every event or trip.

OP, tell the teacher directly that you would like to go next time. If she still only picks the room parents, contact the principal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a room parent and we have a similar lottery for field trips. However, I am always give. First right of refusal since I spend a lot of time volunteering with the class, know all the kids, and the teachers know me. If a teacher is going to put a parent in charge of a group of elementary schoolers you bet they are going to lean on the ones they know.

This doesn't make sense. Since you're always around, they should allow other parents to chaperone before going to you. Lots of parents really do want to participate when they can. You should back out of all of the extra volunteer opportunities to give other parents a chance.

Huh? Your answer makes no sense. Why should room parent do the grunt work of doing the room parent duties for no rewards? Yes, I think of chaperoning as a "reward" for parents because they get to experience an outside school activity of their child and get to take cute pictures. "Volunteer opportunities" are doing the "room parent" work. No one is fighting to do those.

IMHO, teachers tend to lean towards reliable, friendly and sensible parents that they know. Especially in a situation where the safety of all the kids is very important.

+1

“Reward?” Are you 5? If being a room mom is too much “grunt work” for you, don’t do it. I promise the world wont stop turning without you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn't the teacher choose a parent that they know is reliable and trustworthy to chaperone the trip?

Other parents are “helpful, pleasant, reliable and trustworthy,” which everyone will find out when the teacher stops with the idiotic preferential treatment.

The desperation of you room moms on this thread is pathetic. I’m embarrassed for you.

[Anonymous]

I regularly volunteer at our elem school. The number of parents who volunteer but don't show up, with no warning, or say they will bring something in but don't, is way more than most people would expect. It makes sense for the teacher to pick a chaperone they know will show up.

[Anonymous]

Wow, some serious room parent hate here. I’ve had that roll multiple times for both my kids. One delightful child and one challenging child. Yes i went out n most field trips for both, teachers knew me and knew I was reliable. Some parents would meet us at the destination since bus space is limited. Yes I would chat with the teacher because ITS A FRIENDLY THING TO DO. Teachers work hard so at pickup I would smile and ask about her day or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn't the teacher choose a parent that they know is reliable and trustworthy to chaperone the trip?

Other parents are “helpful, pleasant, reliable and trustworthy,” which everyone will find out when the teacher stops with the idiotic preferential treatment.

The desperation of you room moms on this thread is pathetic. I’m embarrassed for you.

Yes but the teacher doesn’t know who is helpful, reliable, pleasant and trustworthy before the field trip and doesn’t want to find out during that someone isn’t. I guarantee you this teacher has gotten burned by a truly randomized system before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teachers are professional. Professionals do not show favoritism. Teachers should not be casual, friends, with parents. Too much hanging-out at the school by the Room Mom is a problem.

It means they have problem kids

It also means their problem kids don’t get disciplinary records for bullying and physically hurt other kids. To answer your question, OP, yes, room parents and their close circle receive disturbing preferential treatment.

LOL

No teacher likes problem kids. These kids make the work day of the teachers a nightmare. Parents of problem kids are no-shows for most things.
Teacher can't stand problem kids and so the parents of such kids are never the room parents.

Room parents normally have NT, bright, well behaved and likable kids. Room parents are generally the super organized types that the teachers like to have around. Most teachers also already have the most helpful and pleasant parents identified to be room parents.

LOL! Our school is begging for room parents, teachers don't have a choice, they get the one person that volunteers.

And those are not the parents of problem or SN kids. LOL. If there is only one person who volunteers then they get first dibs for field trips!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is normal and I don't have a problem with it. I'd like to chaperone if they have space, but the room parents do extra stuff and should get to be first in line for this kind of thing.
- Not a room parent

+1

Teachers also pick parents who will definitely show up. You’d be surprised at how often parents will bail at the last minute.

+2
I work a lot and don't have time to do as much as I'd like at school.
My friend is a class mom and she puts in a lot of effort and time (and money!) to make things fun for the kids and make the teachers feel appreciated.
If she gets preferential treatment for her hard work, that is a-ok with me.

[Anonymous]

I've been a room parent for one of my kids' classes (i.e. I switch which kid I do it for) for six years now. For field trips, sometimes I've had the teachers email the room parents first to ask if they want to do it (I guess assuming that we're the ones who would) and then they'll ask other parents if they'd want to go. I actually work a full-time job, so chaperoning isn't always at the top of my list so I generally say I'll if needed but if not let others do it. Having seen multiple different teachers and their approaches, I do think sometimes they think it's easiest to email the room parents and sometimes they'll just email the whole class. I've never thought about it one way or the other, but then I don't feel the need/desire to chaperone and I could see being annoyed if it wasn't offered up to everyone. Of course, it if was done first-come, first-served then that's also a bit unfair to the people who can't/don't read personal email during the day. I guess there's a best practices way of doing it - maybe give everyone three days to respond and then draw names out of a hat? But those seem like adding more work for the teachers so I can see choosing the path of least resistance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teachers are professional. Professionals do not show favoritism. Teachers should not be casual, friends, with parents. Too much hanging-out at the school by the Room Mom is a problem.

It means they have problem kids

Not in my case. I literally put in the time all year because I wanted to be at all the class parties, I wanted to go on the feel trip, and I wanted a good enough relationship with the teacher that I could let her know my preference for the following year’s teacher. At our school, the current year teacher places her students for the following year. I always got my preferred teacher for the grade. This was of high value to me.

Ugh, you're the kind of person who makes room parents look bad. I have never once asserted my opinion about which teachers my kids should have. I trust the school to make the best choices for all involved. You sound awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my old school, I saw this first-hand. We also had a lot of teachers with kids in the school. The lottery for field trip volunteers was ALWAYS rigged and the teacher-moms always got to go. I really thought this was unfair.

We don’t do this at my current school. We just sent out the signup for our second field trip. We asked parents who went on the first one to wait a few days to sign up so that others would have a chance.

It shouldn’t be about “rewarding” parents who volunteer. We should be making sure that as many kids/parents as possible can share some ES experiences.

On a related note, my old school had a “Volunteer of the Year” award. One year, it went to a dad who was independently wealthy and didn’t have to work. He had more money than he knew what to do with and just hung out at the school all the time out of boredom. I felt like it should have gone to a working mom who had to take time off work to volunteer or a SAHM who had to arrange childcare for younger children.

What I did pre-COVID was to send a list of all the upcoming field trips and parties and ask parents to respond to which ones they wanted to do (rank their top three). Then I created a spreadsheet and everyone got a chance to do what they wanted and I tried to give everyone their top choice or give them maybe two opportunities if they didn't get their first pick. (And yes, I work full time but I love a good color-coded spreadsheet).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of the parents of kids with behavioral problems show up to chaperone.

I was told that there were no slots left when I wanted to chaperone my kid one time. I went to the principal and told her that I will pay for whatever it costs for entrance to the event. They told me that the bus does not have enough space. I told her, I will drive my own car and be ready to meet the group at the entrance of the event. This is what happened. And no, the truth is that there are never enough chaperones.

[Anonymous]

My kid is currently in class with this nightmare room mom who is hoarding volunteer opportunities (so much so that the PTA had to create a clause that you can only coordinate one event per person).. She has issues with the other two room moms because she does not include them in what is going on, and takes it on herself without telling them. Has problems working with people and is not doing all of this stuff to be altruistic but rather on a power trip. I don't understand what she thinks she will achieve- respect from others? favoritism towards her kid? It's very strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is currently in class with this nightmare room mom who is hoarding volunteer opportunities (so much so that the PTA had to create a clause that you can only coordinate one event per person).. She has issues with the other two room moms because she does not include them in what is going on, and takes it on herself without telling them. Has problems working with people and is not doing all of this stuff to be altruistic but rather on a power trip. I don't understand what she thinks she will achieve- respect from others? favoritism towards her kid? It's very strange.

And she's probably on this board!