Do room parents get preferential treatment?

[Anonymous]

Yes of course. They put in the time and money to volunteer, not to mention the face time in front of the teacher and the kids, and so they reap the "rewards", meager as they are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a room parent and we have a similar lottery for field trips. However, I am always give. First right of refusal since I spend a lot of time volunteering with the class, know all the kids, and the teachers know me. If a teacher is going to put a parent in charge of a group of elementary schoolers you bet they are going to lean on the ones they know.

That does not make sense at all. Such a system puts most volunteering opportunities in the hands of people who already have the opportunities. Any parent who goes through the volunteer training should have an equal chance. Handling a group of elementary schooler is not hard!

NP. And yet, some parents are very bad at it. They don't pay attention to instructions, they imagine that they are on a special outing with their kid and ignore everyone else, they argue (!) with the teacher about rules, etc.

I agree that it's unfair, but I would rather the chaperones take the job seriously.

OP, I avoided being room parent like the plague but if I got a chance to chat with the teacher at "back to school night" or during a conference I would always mention that I liked to volunteer for field trips and that I was very good at following the teacher's instructions. They would laugh, but also be like "yeah, good." I was never buddies with them but always tried to be helpful (like drop off extra t-shirts on tie dye day). I had pretty good luck going on field trips, though there may have also been less competition for it. Hard to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a room parent and we have a similar lottery for field trips. However, I am always give. First right of refusal since I spend a lot of time volunteering with the class, know all the kids, and the teachers know me. If a teacher is going to put a parent in charge of a group of elementary schoolers you bet they are going to lean on the ones they know.

That does not make sense at all. Such a system puts most volunteering opportunities in the hands of people who already have the opportunities. Any parent who goes through the volunteer training should have an equal chance. Handling a group of elementary schooler is not hard!

NP. And yet, some parents are very bad at it. They don't pay attention to instructions, they imagine that they are on a special outing with their kid and ignore everyone else, they argue (!) with the teacher about rules, etc.

I agree that it's unfair, but I would rather the chaperones take the job seriously.

OP, I avoided being room parent like the plague but if I got a chance to chat with the teacher at "back to school night" or during a conference I would always mention that I liked to volunteer for field trips and that I was very good at following the teacher's instructions. They would laugh, but also be like "yeah, good." I was never buddies with them but always tried to be helpful (like drop off extra t-shirts on tie dye day). I had pretty good luck going on field trips, though there may have also been less competition for it. Hard to know.

This is the truth. I went on DC's field trip this week. Teachers clearly said NO GIFT SHOP. One mom decided "rules for thee and not for me" and took her crew in for handfuls of candy. We were away from the school a total of 3.5 hours and every other kid managed to follow the rules. It was totally absurd.

[Anonymous]

I've been a room parent a few times. I always let other parents chaperone or volunteer to "host" class parties on a first-come basis. Mostmother room parents at my school do this but I've also encountered a few who take every opportunity for themselves. One of my kid's current room parent does this and she also acts like she is so busy because of everything she has to do. Like I say "thanks for doing xyz" and she responds "Someone has to step up and I'm just glad I'm able to put in the time!" Big eyeroll.0

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is absolutely not OK, OP. You need to speak to the teacher. Don't worry about coming across as rude. There is clearly favoritism going on, and the teacher needs to recognize the favoritism is not invisible, but it's noted and commented upon.

And to PP, in my years of experience with two kids who are now in 7th and 12th grade, room parents never got first dibs for other roles.

OP here — I plan to do this. It doesn’t matter for me since the year is nearly over, but maybe she’ll think twice about it in the future. As others have mentioned, in all of my kid’s classes until now, there’s been a sign up genius and preference is given to parents who haven’t yet had an opportunity to volunteer. I’ve never encountered any resistance to volunteering in my kid’s class simply because I’m not a room parent, so this is definitely a new experience.

[Anonymous]

No. I have two older kids with a large age gap and was able to chaperone both when I wanted. I've never been a room parent because I work and, honestly, I don't really like kids in general, except my own. However, I've always donated (very) generously to the PTA and was attentive to the teachers. Not coffee mugs, but substantial gf to their favorite stores for Christmas, teachers appreciation week, valentine's day etc. Also buy a lot of things from the class wish list. This is public school. My youngest did private for K and it was a different ballgame, but it was mostly a competition between the SAHMs about who is the queen bee of the group and less about the volunteering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, there are people who WANT to chaperone?

Is this for real? DH and I both signed up and I know at least 10 other parents in our 1st grade class that did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, there are people who WANT to chaperone?

Is this for real? DH and I both signed up and I know at least 10 other parents in our 1st grade class that did.

DP - in our school we get enough volunteers… but barely. We have a very diverse population with a lot of recent immigrants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a room parent and we have a similar lottery for field trips. However, I am always give. First right of refusal since I spend a lot of time volunteering with the class, know all the kids, and the teachers know me. If a teacher is going to put a parent in charge of a group of elementary schoolers you bet they are going to lean on the ones they know.

That does not make sense at all. Such a system puts most volunteering opportunities in the hands of people who already have the opportunities. Any parent who goes through the volunteer training should have an equal chance. Handling a group of elementary schooler is not hard!

Most of the work a room parent sucks. They just constantly have to ask people for stuff and then get the stuff no one else volunteers to get. I have no problem giving room parents the opportunity first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, there are people who WANT to chaperone?

Is this for real? DH and I both signed up and I know at least 10 other parents in our 1st grade class that did.

Not PP but yes, totally for real.

I’ve chaperoned (and been room parent) if they really need it but otherwise? Happy to leave it to others. Knock yourselves out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teachers are professional. Professionals do not show favoritism. Teachers should not be casual, friends, with parents. Too much hanging-out at the school by the Room Mom is a problem.

It means they have problem kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, there are people who WANT to chaperone?

Is this for real? DH and I both signed up and I know at least 10 other parents in our 1st grade class that did.

DP - in our school we get enough volunteers… but barely. We have a very diverse population with a lot of recent immigrants.

PP here. I'm actually at a title one school with over half recent immigrants. I always volunteer just in case no one does, but the teacher told me that the other parents are as well.

A lot of new immigrants have jobs that really don't allow for chaperoning, or they don't speak English. (Not judging if it comes across that way)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teachers are professional. Professionals do not show favoritism. Teachers should not be casual, friends, with parents. Too much hanging-out at the school by the Room Mom is a problem.

It means they have problem kids

It also means their problem kids don’t get disciplinary records for bullying and physically hurt other kids. To answer your question, OP, yes, room parents and their close circle receive disturbing preferential treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a room parent and we have a similar lottery for field trips. However, I am always give. First right of refusal since I spend a lot of time volunteering with the class, know all the kids, and the teachers know me. If a teacher is going to put a parent in charge of a group of elementary schoolers you bet they are going to lean on the ones they know.

That does not make sense at all. Such a system puts most volunteering opportunities in the hands of people who already have the opportunities. Any parent who goes through the volunteer training should have an equal chance. Handling a group of elementary schooler is not hard!

Most of the work a room parent sucks. They just constantly have to ask people for stuff and then get the stuff no one else volunteers to get. I have no problem giving room parents the opportunity first.

+1 truly a thankless job so feel free to knock yourself out chaperoning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teachers are professional. Professionals do not show favoritism. Teachers should not be casual, friends, with parents. Too much hanging-out at the school by the Room Mom is a problem.

It means they have problem kids

Not in my case. I literally put in the time all year because I wanted to be at all the class parties, I wanted to go on the feel trip, and I wanted a good enough relationship with the teacher that I could let her know my preference for the following year’s teacher. At our school, the current year teacher places her students for the following year. I always got my preferred teacher for the grade. This was of high value to me.