Venting about multiple acceptances (warning: not a pretty sight)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You absolutely need to call to see where your child is in the waitlist and if there is anything more that you can do. I have never heard of a school which accepted kids off the wait list in order of how quiet their parents were. You're not going to harm your child's chances.

My friend had a dd on the waitlist to a private elementary school in the area and called to find out what if any could be done. And she wanted to know why she had been put on the wait list in the first place. She had great WPSII scores, did great on her playdate, and came from preschool "royalty", if you know what I mean. Turns out, her file was incomplete. The preschool AD never wrote a letter (not just for her, but for the entire graduating class) so she looked like a kid who had some issue (otherwise, her preschool would have written a letter...). Because of that call, the private school called the preschool directly, got feedback, and the girl got off the wait list and into the private school.

In the end, your child will be okay even if they don't get into this school. But you might as well do what you can, and then let the chips fall where they may.

We were accepted off Beauvoir waitlist - never called or anything - got a call over the summer. This was a few years ago.....

[Anonymous]

What's preschool royalty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's preschool royalty?

NCRC, St. John's, Little Folks

[Anonymous]

All the schools are looking for the same type of kids/families

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's preschool royalty?

NCRC, Aidan, St. John's

[Anonymous]

I am sorry but I am howling with laughter... truly belly laughing. "Preschool Royalty" ...that is classic.... My children actually attend/attended one of those listed by both previous posters and its a great preschool but royal? Hardly.... ha ha ha ha ha.. come on people. That is soooo funny.

[Anonymous]

Are multiple acceptances the norm??

[Anonymous]

Bump

[Anonymous]

In my experience, it tends to be feast for famine. Both my children were lucky to get in everywhere they applied and they both had equally qualified friends who did not get accepted anywhere or to only one school. No rhyme or reason. Hopefully, the economic downturn will make it easier for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Applied to 8 - accepted at 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as a teacher who's sat on admissions committees, many of these schools are evaluating the parents just as much as the children. Will the family as a whole fit in with the community? Will the family as a whole add something to the character or vibrancy of the school community? Sometimes perfectly wonderful children have their applications torpedoed by pushy, rude, distant, noncommittal, aloof, etc. parents. Also, lawyers, World Bank/IMF, and lobbying-related folks are a dime a dozen. Most schools love authors, artists, journalists, entrepreneurs, etc.

I can tell you that I once adamantly suggested that a child not be accepted because a parent made it very clear that the only reason he was applying his child to our school was to get him into another school for which we were an unofficial feeder. See, the thing is, we'd have just as much preferred not to be a feeder for that school and were in a totally different place philosophically. The kid was great, but... not a good fit from a whole family perspective.

Finally, just as wonderful as almost all children may be, there are definitely kids who present themselves as "more wonderful" than others in terms of what a school wants. For example, we used to really take a long look at boys who didn't seem to be the stereotypical sporty, boyish types and girls who didn't seem to be the stereotypical princess types. Anyone who defied stereotypes was always interesting to us because we didn't want our students to grow up in an environment that reinforces sometimes unhealthy societal stereotypes. As another example, the somewhat quiet, polite, cooperative observer who doesn't talk a lot but asks really insightful or thoughtful questions when he/she does earns a second look. And another: Kids who aren't afraid to try something unfamiliar or difficult earn points. These sorts of behaviors or tendencies are things which can't really be taught just for a playdate, and they lend a lot of insight into the character and thinking of a child. Most admissions folks I know really value authenticity and usually aren't fooled by "scripts."

This is the most accurate portrayal of the admissions process, at top DC-area private schools, that I have seen posted on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

I found that quote on the first page of this thread, and actually thought that some of the reactions to it were helpful although in a different way.

[Anonymous]

One of the frustrating things about this process is that you do get pigeon-holed and stereotyped. If you are part of the DC "pack" - lawyer, World Bank, etc. - there really is no way to distinguish yourself. There is no space on that application to write about all the pro bono work that you or your spouse do, all the volunteer work, etc. You basically are interesting or not based on your profession. Which leads those of us in the "cursed" professions wondering how they choose - title? prestige of firm? There is anecdotal evidence this is not true, either, or at least these schools aren't familiar with terms like "V5", Profits per Partner and the AmLaw 20 when they make these decisions. I make that remark based on other people's stories that I've heard who are at the top of the profession but rejected everywhere. Making it in the legal world apparently means nothing to these schools at least by the metrics we normally use in the profession.

We applied to one of the "royal" preschools. We were rejected the first year, despite friends writing letters, etc. Nonetheless, I sent DC to summer camp there that year in advance of applying again. Immediately, the comments from the teachers began about how much they loved DC, how good DC was at making choices, etc. The next year DC was accepted. Sad, and heartbreaking, that Mommy and Daddy weren't good enough (I mean, two non-diverse lawyers? Yuk.). Yet, at the same time, thrilling that DC earned the spot on his/her own. Unfortunately, there we were again when it was time to leave preschool. A couple of boring lawyers with a non-diverse kid. We applied to six schools and got into one. It was our #2 school, so I suppose we should be happy. There is something about this entire process, though, that makes you sad because you know they are judging you - and not your kid - and that your kid is frankly better than you are, so you are the thing holding your kid back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: ... Sad, and heartbreaking, that Mommy and Daddy weren't good enough (I mean, two non-diverse lawyers? Yuk.). Yet, at the same time, thrilling that DC earned the spot on his/her own. ... There is something about this entire process, though, that makes you sad because you know they are judging you - and not your kid - and that your kid is frankly better than you are, so you are the thing holding your kid back.

Good post. I think it speaks to the experience of many of us here, even those applying to middle and high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: ... Sad, and heartbreaking, that Mommy and Daddy weren't good enough (I mean, two non-diverse lawyers? Yuk.). Yet, at the same time, thrilling that DC earned the spot on his/her own. ... There is something about this entire process, though, that makes you sad because you know they are judging you - and not your kid - and that your kid is frankly better than you are, so you are the thing holding your kid back.

It seems like many people (myself included) take it personally when schools reject our DCs. We feel that it means *we* have not made the cut somehow. Could it be that the schools really aren't evaluating *us* at all? Perhaps they don't care much at all about our professions, income, zip code, etc (except at the margins for billionaires and senators), and they're really just evaluating our children after all. So to the poster above, maybe you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I suspect you were never holding your DC back. Maybe your DC just blossomed over that year between applications. Maybe the school just had more spots open up. Maybe it just wasn't about *you*.

I'm re-reading this before I post it, and I could see someone thinking this is condescending or that I am criticizing the PP. I really am not aiming for that. I sincerely think that many of us (me included) get overly wrapped up in hunting down the best school for our DC and doing whatever it takes to get DC into that school. (Why else would we be posting here so much?) When DC gets rejected, we are hugely disappointed and we look for where *we* came up short (money, power, connections) rather than accepting (against our own hopes) that maybe DC just wasn't right for that school.

Who knows. I'm just trying to keep all this in perspective. Sorry to hijack the thread.