Venting about multiple acceptances (warning: not a pretty sight)

[Anonymous]

Seems to me that these schools are looking for kids who can handle the "rigors" of separation from their parents/caregivers at the age when the playdates occur. How do you think the kid is going to react to being away from their parent all day if they can't handle being away for 30 minutes for an evaluation?

How do you expect an evaluation to take place if a child is scared and intimidated by being around other kids, toys, blocks etc. for a half-hour?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems to me that these schools are looking for kids who can handle the "rigors" of separation from their parents/caregivers at the age when the playdates occur. How do you think the kid is going to react to being away from their parent all day if they can't handle being away for 30 minutes for an evaluation?

How do you expect an evaluation to take place if a child is scared and intimidated by being around other kids, toys, blocks etc. for a half-hour?

No, not when a child is two or barely three. Most schools don't make children this young stay alone. If they do, they usually don't throw them into an existing class. Instead, they have several of their peers/applicants play in a room together - without an existing class.

I'm basing this on about twenty schools in NW DC. If you know of any others, please post their names. I'm interested. Oh, also, I'm not including Montessori schools. My son did have a great time at one Montessori - I stayed with him for a while, and then when he was comfortable, I left the room but was asked to stay at the school until he was done. (He was accepted.)

I don't really care about a debate. I just wanted to say the whole thing made me sad and made me realize this school wasn't for us. (Interestingly, it's not as competitive as many other schools in DC, but very convenient for parents who want a long school day for their children.) Exmissions are terrible.

[Anonymous]

I have to say, one of the things that saddens me out the most on these boards is this attitude "I think the question is: Do they stand out because of their own qualities? Or do they stand out because of their family's wealth/connections, the preschool they attend, etc.? For many of us, it is difficult to see how much differentiation there can be among all these bright children."

For God's sake - believe in your child!!! and yourself and your family.


My DD got into our first choice playgroup, only choice preschool and only choice private school. I KNOW she is an outstanding and amazing child AND I know the schools see it. She is smart, engaging, beautiful, and confident and YES she is only 4 but its clear that she is AMAZING. She is also an incredibly self-confident 4 year old. Further, she is uncommonly kind and innately sweet. She likes herself and that results in her being kind and open to others. YES, she STANDS OUT!!! I do NOT need to "sell" my child or myself or my husband/family/etc... I know we are smart, fun, and good-looking good choices for these schools. We are NOT terribly rich, or terribly connected or tremendously successful. We went to okay schools ourselves. We are actually pretty normal but we LIKE ourselves. We like our family. We think we are special. Listen ladies, modest self-confidence goes a long way (I am not being modest right now, I know, but it is to make a point.) Know who you are, who your child is and know that he/she and your family are special. If you don't believe that why should these schools and ADs?

If you have never learned it before now, how you feel about yourself and your child is very obvious to others. It creates feelings about you in others. Dump the self angst or the angst about your child and BELIEVE in her or him, BELIEVE in your family. Then, when you truly find the school that is the RIGHT FIT for your CHILD and FAMILY (and yes, this REALLY matters) it will be obvious to you and the school. Your child WILL stand out. Your family WILL stand-out.

SELF-CONFIDENCE, liking yourself and your child, that is the most powerful weapon in life and the application process. Do not give up if you don't get in the first time, try again and next time go in feeling like they will see how excellent your child is. Be happy, be upbeat, be interested and interesting. Be confident in who your child is and who you are.

[Anonymous]

Ironically, that's exactly how we felt until our self-confidence was shredded by the letters we received in March.

[Anonymous]

Well, except for the good-looking part.

[Anonymous]

But our daughter is good-looking!

[Anonymous]

We were accepted into two of the top three - I don't think we stood out in any special way. Our DS is very bright, he separated well, he is polite and quiet. I guess we are just all-around "nice" people - not show-offs. I actually think that most of the parents I have come into contact at Beauvoir are very "nice" people. Not showy or full of themselves. Thats what I like about it. It seems down to earth - in spite of all the hooplah!. Now - and I know I am generalizing - all the people I have met from Potomac area seem to be very showy - flashy cars, clothes and attitudes.
Anyway, I think our DS was accepted because he is so easy going on top of being very bright. Th eother school was Maret - but we are going with Beauvoir. I liked Maret too but we did not feel like we got as much information there - partly our fault. I am sure it is a wonderful place.

[Anonymous]

Umm, my child went from the play group of our choice, to our number one preschool, to one of the Big Three. I don't feel too much like a "loser" when it comes to getting my child placed in good private schools.

I agree with the other posters that this teacher sounds like someone who has very little power in her life (I mean, she's a TEACHER) and it has all gone to her head. Stereotyping people like she does is so ignorant in this day and age. It's sad that someone like her has any power at all to affect children's lives.

I couldn't agree more with the posters who have called out the author of this ridiculous post. Off all the inflammatory things I've read on DCUM, the "she's a TEACHER" comment is one of the most disgusting things I've read. The fact that it is followed up with the "stereotyping is ignorant" conclusion without a hint of irony is a pretty good one too.

I read a good description of teachers somewhere (can't remember where or who wrote it), but it was something along the lines of teachers doing society's heaving lifting for not much thanks and even less money. And if the poster doesn't get that, he/she IS a loser, despite getting her child in to the "play group of choice". Ugh. What a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Please do not let a rejection or waitlist letter "shred your self-confidence" in your child and yourself. That is so unfair to your child. Truly, it is often just a numbers game. I know this year was really bad for admissions for many schools because of the numbers of priority candidates (unusually so). Keep your chin up and your self-confidence intact and reapply to your 2 or 3 favorite schools next year.

Oh, I saw the other post. DO always write thank you notes, its not brown-nosing, its good manners and many schools care about good manners. Also, it helps solidify you and your child in an AD's mind. Also, interest and over-eagerness are very different. Don't be afraid to show your desire for a school. Aloofness is NEVER good in this case. It makes it seem like you are uninterested or hiding something. Just be yourself!!

[Anonymous]

"I know this year was really bad for admissions for many schools because of the numbers of priority candidates (unusually so)."

This seems to be the case EVERY year.

[Anonymous]

I know, I know. That does seem to be true, but actually last year was much better than this year according to AD friends of mine at a few schools.

[Anonymous]

question for the "insider," how often should we call to check on the waitlist? i feel like i am pestering. i had a major faux pau the other day on the phone with them. now what? already wrote a short note expressing interest. what else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are the losers--stop taking everything so personally. The poster was being totally reasonable and straightforward. He/she didn't put down the various professions, or types of children, but merely commented that the more unusual families and kids will stand out more. I guess that really touches a nerve!

Umm, my child went from the play group of our choice, to our number one preschool, to one of the Big Three. I don't feel too much like a "loser" when it comes to getting my child placed in good private schools.

I agree with the other posters that this teacher sounds like someone who has very little power in her life (I mean, she's a TEACHER) and it has all gone to her head. Stereotyping people like she does is so ignorant in this day and age. It's sad that someone like her has any power at all to affect children's lives.

It's especially sad because she chose to answer in this way to OP, who was looking for support.

I did not interpret the Teacher's post in the way that you did. However, you sound a bit pushy, hyper-competitive and reflect the need to one-up the Joneses.

[Anonymous]

Oooh, the waitlist thing is a tough one. I have friends who have gotten in off the waitlist and its happened in 2 different ways, 1.) they did nothing but say they wanted to be on the waitlist and the AD was very positive and they rather quickly got a call saying they were in, and 2.) they were obnoxious and pushed and had a deep-pocket donor call the school for them and they got in. I dont know about you, but I would not want to be #2, even if that meant getting my child in. Some behaviors are never worth it for some of us. Also, #2 doesn't always work and may backfire on you. My best advice would be to calmly call and write in the very beginning and then check back in a month or so. Do NOT get your hopes up but do say a few prayers!

[Anonymous]

You absolutely need to call to see where your child is in the waitlist and if there is anything more that you can do. I have never heard of a school which accepted kids off the wait list in order of how quiet their parents were. You're not going to harm your child's chances.

My friend had a dd on the waitlist to a private elementary school in the area and called to find out what if any could be done. And she wanted to know why she had been put on the wait list in the first place. She had great WPSII scores, did great on her playdate, and came from preschool "royalty", if you know what I mean. Turns out, her file was incomplete. The preschool AD never wrote a letter (not just for her, but for the entire graduating class) so she looked like a kid who had some issue (otherwise, her preschool would have written a letter...). Because of that call, the private school called the preschool directly, got feedback, and the girl got off the wait list and into the private school.

In the end, your child will be okay even if they don't get into this school. But you might as well do what you can, and then let the chips fall where they may.