Is college rejection the worst experience your child has met so far in their lives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:College rejection is no doubt tough on kids AND parents (especially those who have truly loved and invested in raising their children well). Considering the incredibly low acceptance rates for many competitive colleges, most kids who apply to these WILL experience rejection. By May of senior year, if families have planned well and applied to a few good safeties, kids are usually comfortable with where they are going and begin envisioning all of the fun they will have...

There are ways to salvage joy if we celebrate the successes and minimize the disappointments wrt college admissions. Not always easy.

Here's a good quick read to make any kid (and parent) feel better about the whole annoying thing! I like the pugs. https://raisingamericans.substack.com/p/deferred-or-rejected-by-a-dream-school

Thank you for sharing this very healthy perspective.

[Anonymous]

My DD understood the math so she decided not to fall in love till she had acceptances in hand. Like another PP, being visually disabled and with learning differences, she always had to work extra hard and accepted it. She suffered other losses, both grandparents died within a year and a friend was murdered.
It is hard for them, especially as they compare with peers. Bit nothing is certain and try to help your child appreciate their acceptances and not dwell on the rejection. Every acceptance is a dream school for many kids - it’s worth celebrating.

[Anonymous]

No. Loss of a parent, COVID and being canceled by an ex. College is just one blip.

[Anonymous]

Omg, all of you are not doing well raising your children if you are so worried about them handling rejection.

[Anonymous]

geez certainly not one of DCUM’s feel good threads

[Anonymous]

yes

[Anonymous]

Not even close.

Being diagnosed with a life altering chronic incurable illness was by far worse.

Rejection sucks but they get over it.

[Anonymous]

i think OP should have framed it as the “worst individual failure” as opposed to experience. No one will argue that death, illness, or disability that impacts a child are all far worse. And by failure, I mean in the context of failing to gain admittance

[Anonymous]

aren’t

[Anonymous]

When I was rejected from early admission (decades ago) I took it so hard, it surprised everyone. It seemed irrational. A few years later when I was broken up with, I also took it similarly hard. Like I was quietly sobbing throughout my college class lectures. I did lead a charmed life and I guess I was totally unprepared for rejection. I have a lot of anxiety too. Not sure how to fix that for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Is this a joke?

[Anonymous]

Can't help but feel embarrassed for OP posting this absurd post that should remind her how fortunate she's been to avoid hardship and tragedy. Be quiet and count your lucky stars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids grew up in NW DC where every extracurricular resource is scarce and competition for everything is really tough.

By college app time they had both racked up a long series of rejections: multiple travel sports teams, musical roles, private school applications, etc. etc.

They took college rejections in stride.

This is true of a lot of the private school grads I know. I know people for whom getting waitlisted (and later admitted) for kindergarten at one of the elite private schools is a formative memory. This is an extremely competitive area and if anything, many HS students underestimate their abilities and potential because they are so used to losing out to other people. A lot of kids here who feel "middle of the pack" would be valedictorians who got in everywhere they applied in a different setting (assuming same level of effort and resources).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was rejected from early admission (decades ago) I took it so hard, it surprised everyone. It seemed irrational. A few years later when I was broken up with, I also took it similarly hard. Like I was quietly sobbing throughout my college class lectures. I did lead a charmed life and I guess I was totally unprepared for rejection. I have a lot of anxiety too. Not sure how to fix that for my kids.

I didn't lead a charmed life but I am like this. Some people are just sensitive to rejection no matter how many times they experience it. Through therapy I've learned that it's related to getting rejected by my dad (like, as a person) as a child. I have worked in a field where regular rejection is just how it works and after suffering for years and waiting to "toughen up" I realized that I just need to be in more nurturing environments. It's just who I am and what I need. It's okay.

[Anonymous]

This is a very competitive area, most kids here have been getting rejected from different things for years before they apply to college.