Is college rejection the worst experience your child has met so far in their lives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His mother’s cancer was pretty bad.

+1

Not by a long shot.

Giving your child coping abilities is one of the most priceless gifts you can give them, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Watching the grandfather he was extremely close to die from a terminal cancer was pretty bad.

He's had many rejections/demotions in sports (some where a coach told him he was getting moved up; only to have a higher up TD block it because of a butt kisser); he's had some coaches ghost the team, he's seen really, really bad parent behavior and had a few injuries that caused him to miss a season, etc. The sports world was pretty brutal to him, much, much more so than anything related to school. This is why I think sports can be so beneficial for kids. It's a place where they deal with difficult people, learn to work together and to overcome disappointment, they experience their first rejections, see there are better alternatives, watch what they thought was a bad thing end up opening so many other doors and opportunities. And, they learned sometimes all the hard work and RESULTS won't make a difference. Somethings are not under your control.

Things with school have been very merit-based for him so far which is such a welcome change.

Oh and we have always had the 'if they don't want me, I don't want them' mindset with coaches, schools, etc.

Great post until the bolded, that's a pretty strange mindset to have. Agree with the rest, for all of the people here that mock sports it's more than an EC to get into college, it teaches the value of hard/team work and the joys of winning and lows of losing...pretty important stuff to learn when your are young.

DP. Words to live by. Teach your child to value themselves.

[Anonymous]

My kid is just entering HS but they've been demoted from sports team assignments (and found their team), performed at the bottom in competitions (and also 1st), and will be at a magnet high school that was not their first choice by far.

They are resilient already. I am hoping they handle college apps well when the time comes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We try to provide a safe, comfortable childhood then boom! At the end of it all, the devastating rejection. Will it make them stronger and more resilient or bitter?

Maybe you should have attempted to nurture resilience rather plowing through every obstacle that your child may face

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We try to provide a safe, comfortable childhood then boom! At the end of it all, the devastating rejection. Will it make them stronger and more resilient or bitter?

Maybe you should have attempted to nurture resilience rather plowing through every obstacle that your child may face

Hey guys, the Op made it clear in their other post that the kid is not a snowflake. Everyone let’s chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids grew up in NW DC where every extracurricular resource is scarce and competition for everything is really tough.

By college app time they had both racked up a long series of rejections: multiple travel sports teams, musical roles, private school applications, etc. etc.

They took college rejections in stride.

Same, and to the other PP, you have no idea, DC is in the performing arts and has been getting painful rejections since elementary school, which may seem small now but we’re emotionally hard at the time. In HS DC has tried out for the same EC every year since 10th, which was the first year that was possible, and received a very personal rejection every time. That said, for college, we have focused on the data and the long shots that their reaches were (are for the ones still remaining). I am thrilled that DC has some solid hard target acceptances and am bracing myself for a sea of rejections overs the next 9 days. DC seems to be weathering it okay.

I raised 2 kids in NWDC. To say extracurricular resources are scarce is incredibly tone deaf.

[Anonymous]

No. My oldest is disabled and thriving 10 years postgrad. DS had a sports injury and COVID happened, so he didn't get recruited for sports. He's doing well at his first choice school. My DD got accepted to 5 out of 6 colleges, 3 in the Top 100. She had a sports injury twice during high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We try to provide a safe, comfortable childhood then boom! At the end of it all, the devastating rejection. Will it make them stronger and more resilient or bitter?

OP you need help. What a bizarre post.

OP you’re in the 4th stage of grief. Give it time, you’ll reach that last step.

[Anonymous]

College rejection is no doubt tough on kids AND parents (especially those who have truly loved and invested in raising their children well). Considering the incredibly low acceptance rates for many competitive colleges, most kids who apply to these WILL experience rejection. By May of senior year, if families have planned well and applied to a few good safeties, kids are usually comfortable with where they are going and begin envisioning all of the fun they will have...

There are ways to salvage joy if we celebrate the successes and minimize the disappointments wrt college admissions. Not always easy.

Here's a good quick read to make any kid (and parent) feel better about the whole annoying thing! I like the pugs. https://raisingamericans.substack.com/p/deferred-or-rejected-by-a-dream-school

[Anonymous]

What a question. Public school was closed for a year and a half here. Lots of people died. Most 18 year old have lost a relative at some point, to cancer, old age whatever.

[Anonymous]

Kid survived a significant family crisis, loss of all possessions, and parental illness and mental health difficulties. She’s able to handle rejections from colleges that she had a one in 3 chance (or less) of getting into. It’s about cultivating self worth, resilience and perspective. And managing expectations. You can start now even if you haven’t done it so far!

[Anonymous]

Seriously? If college rejection is the worst experience to date your kid is sheltered and needs to get out more. I would put that not even in the top 3 for my kid

[Anonymous]

HAHAHAHA. No.

[Anonymous]

Were you preparing your child for a future spent in a fairy tale? Of course they need experience with disappointment and learning how to rebound.

Your use of the word "devastating" makes me worry that you are not helping them put this in perspective.

I heard once that it is much safer if your child has a few bumps in the road when they are still living home, because the ones who have their first major disappointment (e.g., a break up, failed course, etc) in college are at risk for an unhealthy reaction.

Your child will be fine, unless your attempt to shield them from real life has left them frail.

[Anonymous]

My kid had been rejected from a program she wanted. The next year she reapplied and got in. I thought that was a GREAT lesson for her to experience.

She also lost her only grandparent and her only parent underwent cancer treatment.