Is college rejection the worst experience your child has met so far in their lives?

[Anonymous]

Kids were much more devastated by the loss of the family pet. One DD much more devastated by a the breakup w/ boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

His first GF breaking up with him hit him harder than college rejections. We know where his priorities lie. And this is a really smart kid with super high stats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His first GF breaking up with him hit him harder than college rejections. We know where his priorities lie. And this is a really smart kid with super high stats.

ha, ha. My son was DEVASTATED after his 1st girlfriend broke up with him too. College rejection? meh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't they be disapopinted and upset and also not rejected for life?
The way the parent/OP phrased this it seems like she thinks that it's her fault, or that she is supposed to protect from the big/bad world, or thatall of the work until now is for nothing.

Yes, I find all of these responses really weird. It's okay to be disappointed and even crushed for a while about college rejections. And then register for the school that did accept them and realize life will be ok. Disappointment and heartbreak comes for everyone, I dont' really understand many of your responses to these 18 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't they be disapopinted and upset and also not rejected for life?
The way the parent/OP phrased this it seems like she thinks that it's her fault, or that she is supposed to protect from the big/bad world, or thatall of the work until now is for nothing.

Yes, I find all of these responses really weird. It's okay to be disappointed and even crushed for a while about college rejections. And then register for the school that did accept them and realize life will be ok. Disappointment and heartbreak comes for everyone, I dont' really understand many of your responses to these 18 year olds.

Huh? We're just saying that our kids weren't really phased. By age 18 they. had experienced a MYRIAD of other rejections. Sports rosters, play parts, etc.

Heck, my kid applied to private school in DC in 7th and was rejected. Applied again in 9th to 5 schools and was rejected by 3 of them.

By college he genuinely was not phased by the college rejections. He had learned to expect nothing but to keep trying: "you don't win if you don't play the game".

[Anonymous]

Looks like your kids have not stretched their boundaries enough.. Any kid by this time would have suffered multiple rejections, disappointments, moments of despair, lack of focus etc etc. It's normal! It could be in Sports or a bad test grade, GPA or social issues like breaking up with the best friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't they be disapopinted and upset and also not rejected for life?
The way the parent/OP phrased this it seems like she thinks that it's her fault, or that she is supposed to protect from the big/bad world, or thatall of the work until now is for nothing.

Yes, I find all of these responses really weird. It's okay to be disappointed and even crushed for a while about college rejections. And then register for the school that did accept them and realize life will be ok. Disappointment and heartbreak comes for everyone, I dont' really understand many of your responses to these 18 year olds.

Huh? We're just saying that our kids weren't really phased. By age 18 they. had experienced a MYRIAD of other rejections. Sports rosters, play parts, etc.

Heck, my kid applied to private school in DC in 7th and was rejected. Applied again in 9th to 5 schools and was rejected by 3 of them.

By college he genuinely was not phased by the college rejections. He had learned to expect nothing but to keep trying: "you don't win if you don't play the game".

Sorry. Should have been clearer. I'm not referring to posters talking about their own kids. I am referring to posters whose response is that OP's kid didn't experience enough failure previously and that this is somehow OP's fault.

[Anonymous]

No. His father has no interest in him and he was diagnosed with a severe mental illness. That being said he leads a comfortable life with me and grandparents so he knows how lucky he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looks like your kids have not stretched their boundaries enough.. Any kid by this time would have suffered multiple rejections, disappointments, moments of despair, lack of focus etc etc. It's normal! It could be in Sports or a bad test grade, GPA or social issues like breaking up with the best friend

But some kids still think college rejection is a much bigger deal than that. Or just another pile on and the pile of rejections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We try to provide a safe, comfortable childhood then boom! At the end of it all, the devastating rejection. Will it make them stronger and more resilient or bitter?

I doubt that college rejection is worse than the Covid 19 and we all went through that.

[Anonymous]

No.

I think it was having to say goodbye via Zoom to a relative who was about to die.

[Anonymous]

This should not be the worst thing or even a kind of bad thing. If it is, the kid will most likely go through life with some idea of false expectations, of entitlement, of superiority.

College is just one blip in a lifetime of a lot more important things. I think a kid who is devastated by a college rejection should sign immediately up at the nearby community college. They will get what they really need, get those credits, and rethink what college is actually supposed to be for when they finish ip somewhere. It's not an anointing. It really is just education. After they are done,literally NO ONE cares where they went.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We try to provide a safe, comfortable childhood then boom! At the end of it all, the devastating rejection. Will it make them stronger and more resilient or bitter?

OP here. Everyone’s comments are helpful. To clarify, when I say “we” I mean all these parents (including me) who are showing so much angst with the college results this week. Yes, my child’s original list was reach heavy and they adjusted to safer schools and I think they will be fine. They lived through the loss of many beloved pets, their mother fighting breast cancer, the pandemic, sitting on the basketball bench a whole season, not being invited to sleepovers, not cast in musicals, etc, etc. As I write this I realize they’ll be okay. They will process it and I will too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We try to provide a safe, comfortable childhood then boom! At the end of it all, the devastating rejection. Will it make them stronger and more resilient or bitter?

OP here. Everyone’s comments are helpful. To clarify, when I say “we” I mean all these parents (including me) who are showing so much angst with the college results this week. Yes, my child’s original list was reach heavy and they adjusted to safer schools and I think they will be fine. They lived through the loss of many beloved pets, their mother fighting breast cancer, the pandemic, sitting on the basketball bench a whole season, not being invited to sleepovers, not cast in musicals, etc, etc. As I write this I realize they’ll be okay. They will process it and I will too.

Thanks for clarifying about your kid. They will be fine and even great. Wishing them best of luck and their mother a full recovery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Watching the grandfather he was extremely close to die from a terminal cancer was pretty bad.

He's had many rejections/demotions in sports (some where a coach told him he was getting moved up; only to have a higher up TD block it because of a butt kisser); he's had some coaches ghost the team, he's seen really, really bad parent behavior and had a few injuries that caused him to miss a season, etc. The sports world was pretty brutal to him, much, much more so than anything related to school. This is why I think sports can be so beneficial for kids. It's a place where they deal with difficult people, learn to work together and to overcome disappointment, they experience their first rejections, see there are better alternatives, watch what they thought was a bad thing end up opening so many other doors and opportunities. And, they learned sometimes all the hard work and RESULTS won't make a difference. Somethings are not under your control.

Things with school have been very merit-based for him so far which is such a welcome change.

Oh and we have always had the 'if they don't want me, I don't want them' mindset with coaches, schools, etc.

Great post until the bolded, that's a pretty strange mindset to have. Agree with the rest, for all of the people here that mock sports it's more than an EC to get into college, it teaches the value of hard/team work and the joys of winning and lows of losing...pretty important stuff to learn when your are young.