DD's friend said her food stinks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and let her be like all the other kids for lunch.

Ugh don't do this.

Fine you let YOUR kid cry in the bathroom every day and get made fun of every day for her smelly food. This is one small thing OP can do to help her kid - she should do it. Her kid can eat Indian food for the other two meals each day plus eat non-smelly Indian snacks at school.

Considering so many schools are peanut free these days, hardly anyone is bringing PB&J for lunch.

Don't be tone deaf.

Get real. So many kids are getting lunch at school anyway. This is not a huge issue no matter what kids are eating at school, which is rarely PB&J.

[Anonymous]

There was a boy in high school who brought egg salad every day. It stunk! I had to relocate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ethnic food is typical food. Suggesting that the Mom pack food that is more typical to Americans and not food that is typical to Indians is not necessary.

OP: I would encourage you to role play some responses for your daughter. Something like "It smells fine. You might think it smells different but this is what my family eats." or "Smells and tastes great to me" or "Why would you say that? That is rude."

If she is comfortable she can say that your family eats food that uses different spices then many people use in the US. You think it tastes great and that the food Americans eat smell strange to people in India.

Unfortunately, she is not alone. Kids from different cultures here this. My friends from Singapore have had this issue and you can read about similar cases online pretty easily.

I get what you're saying but these types of "barbs" don't shut the teasing down. You'll have to prepare her for the variety of responses. Eww your family eats THAT? Gross, it stinks. Or That smells GOOD bto you? Whats wrong with you? Etc etc.

So you need to help op with how her DD might proceed. Clever comebacks don't help unless the kid is prepared to argue back.

I do like your next suggestion that she simply explain the differences.

I remember in elementary school I laughed out loud at a Korean immigrant kid who pronounced something in a way I found funny. A teacher scolded me but she also explained to me why he pronounced things the way he did. I totally got it, and never laughed at him again. I see in my own kid that he easily grasps the concept that people from different countries do things differently and that's ok. Meaning, I think if your child is confident enough to explain simply why her food is different, other kids might be able to "get" it and leave her alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and let her be like all the other kids for lunch.

Ugh don't do this.

Fine you let YOUR kid cry in the bathroom every day and get made fun of every day for her smelly food. This is one small thing OP can do to help her kid - she should do it. Her kid can eat Indian food for the other two meals each day plus eat non-smelly Indian snacks at school.

Considering so many schools are peanut free these days, hardly anyone is bringing PB&J for lunch.

Don't be tone deaf.

Get real. So many kids are getting lunch at school anyway. This is not a huge issue no matter what kids are eating at school, which is rarely PB&J.

Tone deaf, meaning: pbj is not the point. The point pp is making is, pack an American lunch.

[Anonymous]

I wrote earlier that I can relate to this, because I was this kid in elementary school. I wish people would shut up about the smell. This isn't about the smell, it's just about OP's daughter being different. Kids are singling her and her lunch out because it's different. My lunches didn't smell, they just weren't a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and potato chips (80s kid here!) like everyone else's. Once I started bringing in the same lunch as everyone else and buying pizza on Fridays, the teasing about my food stopped. Trust me, OP, it's not about the smell of steamed broccoli. If you had broccoli along with a ham sandwich (get that you're prob veg, so sub that ham for just a plain cheese sandwich), your daughter wouldn't be teased. I know this from personal experience.

[Anonymous]

P.s. If you're oiling her hair, stop now and save it for the weekends.

[Anonymous]

I work in a school, and the kids say "don't yuck my yum" when other kids criticize their food. It might be a line from Sesame Street or similar. The kids all get it. My school is very diverse and I see a lot of different foods in the packed lunches. There are many smells going on at once! If your child is in a school that is not very diverse, the children may have less education/experience in being accepting of differences. It's hard to say if those kids feel your child's lunch is smelly, or if they are picking on her because she is different, or both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and let her be like all the other kids for lunch.

Ugh don't do this.

Fine you let YOUR kid cry in the bathroom every day and get made fun of every day for her smelly food. This is one small thing OP can do to help her kid - she should do it. Her kid can eat Indian food for the other two meals each day plus eat non-smelly Indian snacks at school.

Considering so many schools are peanut free these days, hardly anyone is bringing PB&J for lunch.

Don't be tone deaf.

Get real. So many kids are getting lunch at school anyway. This is not a huge issue no matter what kids are eating at school, which is rarely PB&J.

Tone deaf, meaning: pbj is not the point. The point pp is making is, pack an American lunch.

No, the point is an “American” lunch includes food from many cultures becauee Americans come from many backgrounds. I swear the responses on this thread are from 1983 not 2023.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s worth mentioning this to the teacher. I am a teacher. You can try to not bring broccoli but skipping your ethnic food because it smells different is not okay. The kids who are saying it smells are being insensitive and frankly culturally ignorant (which is perfectly age appropriate) but this is a great learning opportunity for the class. They could do a unit in family traditions including foods and maybe even dress, then they can discuss how to act when something is different and how saying “gross” might make others feel.

+1 Great reply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wrote earlier that I can relate to this, because I was this kid in elementary school. I wish people would shut up about the smell. This isn't about the smell, it's just about OP's daughter being different. Kids are singling her and her lunch out because it's different. My lunches didn't smell, they just weren't a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and potato chips (80s kid here!) like everyone else's. Once I started bringing in the same lunch as everyone else and buying pizza on Fridays, the teasing about my food stopped. Trust me, OP, it's not about the smell of steamed broccoli. If you had broccoli along with a ham sandwich (get that you're prob veg, so sub that ham for just a plain cheese sandwich), your daughter wouldn't be teased. I know this from personal experience.

I agree that it may be more about singling her out for being different. However, broccoli really does smell bad. My caucasian kid sometimes takes leftover stir fry or pasta dishes in her thermos and she has commented that they don't smell great by lunchtime. I can imagine broccoli would be really strong smelling kept in those conditions...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wrote earlier that I can relate to this, because I was this kid in elementary school. I wish people would shut up about the smell. This isn't about the smell, it's just about OP's daughter being different. Kids are singling her and her lunch out because it's different. My lunches didn't smell, they just weren't a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and potato chips (80s kid here!) like everyone else's. Once I started bringing in the same lunch as everyone else and buying pizza on Fridays, the teasing about my food stopped. Trust me, OP, it's not about the smell of steamed broccoli. If you had broccoli along with a ham sandwich (get that you're prob veg, so sub that ham for just a plain cheese sandwich), your daughter wouldn't be teased. I know this from personal experience.

I agree that it may be more about singling her out for being different. However, broccoli really does smell bad. My caucasian kid sometimes takes leftover stir fry or pasta dishes in her thermos and she has commented that they don't smell great by lunchtime. I can imagine broccoli would be really strong smelling kept in those conditions...

I meant to add that her friends have commented on the smell from her food.

[Anonymous]

I regularly volunteer at lunch at it’s just a very overwhelming time- so much noise and mess and different smells. My kid has extreme food aversions and I know she has said similar things about friends food, of several varieties and has moved seats when she felt like she was going to vomit. We’ve worked with her a lot on using polite words but there really isn’t any nice way to be grossed out by someone’s food and it’s just a really hard time for some kids. It’s just a lot going on. Think if everybody brought a strong smelling lunch - it would be literally hundreds of smells!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and let her be like all the other kids for lunch.

Ugh don't do this.

Fine you let YOUR kid cry in the bathroom every day and get made fun of every day for her smelly food. This is one small thing OP can do to help her kid - she should do it. Her kid can eat Indian food for the other two meals each day plus eat non-smelly Indian snacks at school.

Considering so many schools are peanut free these days, hardly anyone is bringing PB&J for lunch.

Don't be tone deaf.

Get real. So many kids are getting lunch at school anyway. This is not a huge issue no matter what kids are eating at school, which is rarely PB&J.

Tone deaf, meaning: pbj is not the point. The point pp is making is, pack an American lunch.

What is an American lunch? There’s no such thing anymore. Calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and let her be like all the other kids for lunch.

Ugh don't do this.

Fine you let YOUR kid cry in the bathroom every day and get made fun of every day for her smelly food. This is one small thing OP can do to help her kid - she should do it. Her kid can eat Indian food for the other two meals each day plus eat non-smelly Indian snacks at school.

Considering so many schools are peanut free these days, hardly anyone is bringing PB&J for lunch.

Don't be tone deaf.

Get real. So many kids are getting lunch at school anyway. This is not a huge issue no matter what kids are eating at school, which is rarely PB&J.

Tone deaf, meaning: pbj is not the point. The point pp is making is, pack an American lunch.

No, the point is an “American” lunch includes food from many cultures becauee Americans come from many backgrounds. I swear the responses on this thread are from 1983 not 2023.

Yes, you're right. But stop pretending you don't know what kids eat for lunch at school. You're like Oh gee golly I can't comprehend what you mean I've never noticed that Americans school kids eat sandwiches.

Give it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and let her be like all the other kids for lunch.

Ugh don't do this.

Fine you let YOUR kid cry in the bathroom every day and get made fun of every day for her smelly food. This is one small thing OP can do to help her kid - she should do it. Her kid can eat Indian food for the other two meals each day plus eat non-smelly Indian snacks at school.

Considering so many schools are peanut free these days, hardly anyone is bringing PB&J for lunch.

Don't be tone deaf.

Get real. So many kids are getting lunch at school anyway. This is not a huge issue no matter what kids are eating at school, which is rarely PB&J.

Tone deaf, meaning: pbj is not the point. The point pp is making is, pack an American lunch.

No, the point is an “American” lunch includes food from many cultures because Americans come from many backgrounds. I swear the responses on this thread are from 1983 not 2023.

I am so shocked that this happened in the first place, and these responses! My god! No wonder these kids are mean; they have parents that think that "American food" (whatever the hell that is) is the only acceptable food option for kids to bring to school.

OP, how old is your child, and where in the DMV is she going to school that kids are not used to different types of foods? This is NOT okay, and 100% something I would bring up with the teacher. Regardless of whether your child is bringing broccoli or boiled cabbage, or gimbap, it's not okay for the kids to be mean enough as to send your kid crying about the food she clearly has no problems eating.

I'm Indian as well, OP, and have a DD in MS. I have sent all sorts of things for her lunch all these years, with no problems whatsoever. My only criterion for packing foods for her has been "Will she eat this?" It should be yours as well.