DD's friend said her food stinks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people saying that broccoli stinks are crazy. Indian spices smell very strong but broccoli by itself doesn’t stink. It’s a very typical vegetable and hardly smells at all.

Roasted or steamed broccoli absolutely smells horrid if not eaten within a few hours. Absolutely.

Stir fry FTW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sad to hear OP. Shame in being who you are starts from here. I would talk to the teacher and make sure the culprit doesn’t sit next to your daughter. Definitely no steamed broccoli. But puliogre >>>> any lame American sandwich. This makes for a good conversation with your daughter about should she be who she is or try to fit in. If try to fit in, how much.

I posted previously about the guy I know who doesn’t eat ethnic smelly food before meetings.

We are a mixed Asian American family. We are extremely proud of our heritage. I had a boss from the Midwest who literally ate salad or grilled chicken everyday. Majority of my coworkers were white Americans. Some were more cultured than others. I would sometimes get a banh mi sandwich but I was fine eating a sandwich or salad for lunch like everyone else.

I grew up in a household where we only ate my parents’ native foods at home. That does not mean I have to expose or bring that food to school or work. I clearly remember my mother always trying to pack ethnic foods for me when I went to college and I didn’t want it in the communal dorm fridge either. Most recently, I had a cousin send her teen daughter to the US for boarding school. We took the girl out to eat ethnic food and she loved it. I was very surprised she didn’t want to take any leftovers to her dorm. She didn’t want to microwave the food or put it in the fridge in the shared kitchen.

I love all kinds of Asian food. I love Asian food from my home country as well my husband’s country. Asian food is my preferred food. That does not mean I have to eat Asian food all three meals of the day. We live in America. I eat cereal, bagels, sandwiches, pasta and lots of Asian food. I don’t need to pack Asian food to school or work.

Where do yo live?

What you described is how it used to be in the US 10+ years ago, but now a days in big metro areas it's so different. Why shouldn't we be able to eat our ethnic food 3x per day if we want? Why do we have to eat "American" food only out in public?

My dad used to take our ethnic food to work in the 70s/80s, and he was made fun of. DC's take our ethnic food to lunch and the response they get is, "that smells good".

It's sad that you can't take your ethnic food to lunches. DC#1 will be going off to college soon in a large urban area with all kinds of different ethnicities, and ethnic restaurants all around. I'm going to be sending our ethnic food to DC quite regularly. DC said they felt so lucky to be living in these times/area where ethnic foods is the norm, and if people don't like it, they just have to deal - Dc's words.

We live in the DMV area. Dh is a physician. Would you want your doctor to smell like ethnic foods? Would you want to go to a meeting and the consultant smell like curry? I would not want to walk into a lawyer’s office and smell potent ethnic foods.

Sometimes we will eat Chinese food and I have my kids brush their teeth and change before sports or an activity. I make them shower if they stink. I don’t want my kids to smell bad. My kids will sometimes say the food smells good and I tell them just to change so they don’t go around smelling like food.

You think people who eat greasy french fries and onion burgers from McDonald’s don’t smell bad? Have you ever smelled a McDonald’s? Every professional has to use breath mints or teeth brushing after a big meal. You are stigmatizing particular cultures for no reason. No one is saying this child’s clothes are smelly.

Most professionals I know avoid eating pungent foods at work or at work events. Plus I don't think many physicians are gorging on McDonald's extra value meals for lunch and then going back to the office.

[Anonymous]

I teach at a DMV elementary school with a wide range of cultures. Lots of South Asian and Korean kids. While most of my students say this has happened to them at some point, it’s usually only once. We intentionally have the kids share about their home foods and address the “that looks/smells funny” thing specifically. Nobody is microwaving anything at school— these lunches are not that smelly even if they’re warm in a thermos/bento/tiffin.

Kids, even in early grades, are very capable of learning how to not do this. There are even good picture books. The teachers can address it. Parents can address it, too, by teaching their kids that it is rude to make insulting comments about another person’s food.

[Anonymous]

I suggest a different approach…..

My son used to love taking pot stickers to school and they stunk to high heaven. Instead of getting offended he laughed and agreed they stunk. Kids don’t have anywhere to go when you agree with them (plus they were right). Instead of it being an experience that drove in a wedge, it brought them all closer together and they left him alone about it after that (yep, he continued taking them). We need to help teach our kids to not get offended at everything. It’s a social skill.

In the case of your daughter, it sounds like maybe those kids were just being mean for the sake of being mean —- I could be wrong. They either didn’t have social filters (which most kids don’t) and were just saying the first thing that popped in their minds (that they were literally just grossed out by the smell) OR their goal was merely to be mean. Try to determine which scenario it was. If they were just trying to be mean and then she should sit somewhere else.

She’s not the only kid with a stinky lunch. In my opinion the whole lunchroom stinks. Lol.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the “mean” kid is mean or has sensory issues. Maybe what doesn’t smell bad to use smells very strong and bad to them. When my kid was bullied, I made fun of the bully and then we began to laugh about how silly that kid was. Later, we learned the dad was stalking the mom. Years later, we talked about that. The kid was still a mean bully to my kid but at least we had context.

[Anonymous]

Also, does your kid like Taylor Swift?

“ Someday, I'll be living in a big old city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?
You, with your switching sides
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation
You have pointed out my flaws again
As if I don't already see them
I walk with my head down
Trying to block you out, 'cause I'll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again…”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I teach at a DMV elementary school with a wide range of cultures. Lots of South Asian and Korean kids. While most of my students say this has happened to them at some point, it’s usually only once. We intentionally have the kids share about their home foods and address the “that looks/smells funny” thing specifically. Nobody is microwaving anything at school— these lunches are not that smelly even if they’re warm in a thermos/bento/tiffin.

Kids, even in early grades, are very capable of learning how to not do this. There are even good picture books. The teachers can address it. Parents can address it, too, by teaching their kids that it is rude to make insulting comments about another person’s food.

Thank you, teacher PP. Honestly, in this day and age, in the DC area, there is no reason why your kid should be offended by the smell of different ethnic foods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t think of any Americanized Indians who pack Indian food to school or work. Every Indian home I have ever been to smells like curry.

Over the years, I have heard many people complain about coworkers or people who smell or their food smells. You don’t want to be known as the person who smells or whose food smells. Wouldn’t you want your daughter to be liked and not cry in the bathroom???

Dh’s best friend is Indian. One of mh kid’s best friend is Indian and another child’s best friend is half Indian. They don’t go around school smelling like Indian food.

I have Asian friends (non Indian) who don’t like to cook Asian food at home because they don’t want their house smelling like Asian food. One guy I know won’t eat Asian food for almost a week before an important client meeting or business trip. You don’t want the impression of you to be a foul smell.

Foul smell? Curry? So ignorant.

I am the pp. we are East Asian and I love curry. I like Indian curry, Japanese curry, Korean curry, etc. I would not want to walk around smelling like curry.

There is no curry in Indian food. That is a word made up by the British to describe Indian food with a sauce. There was an exceedingly long thread on here awhile back trying to educate people about that.

Wtf? Have you ever been to India? All of the sauces are described as curry and the best cooks don't actually have a name of anything they cook. There is the actual curry leaf too that is primarily associated with one of the strong flavors in every dish.

That said the issue here isn't curry it's the smell that vegetables give off after being in a container for hours which smells like farts.

Yes, I am Indian American and have been to India many times. We don’t use “curry” to describe our food except possibly some people who use it to describe food to non Indians. There is a curry leaf and we will identify that as a curry leaf. But otherwise there are many spice mixtures and many individual dishes with their own names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sad to hear OP. Shame in being who you are starts from here. I would talk to the teacher and make sure the culprit doesn’t sit next to your daughter. Definitely no steamed broccoli. But puliogre >>>> any lame American sandwich. This makes for a good conversation with your daughter about should she be who she is or try to fit in. If try to fit in, how much.

I posted previously about the guy I know who doesn’t eat ethnic smelly food before meetings.

We are a mixed Asian American family. We are extremely proud of our heritage. I had a boss from the Midwest who literally ate salad or grilled chicken everyday. Majority of my coworkers were white Americans. Some were more cultured than others. I would sometimes get a banh mi sandwich but I was fine eating a sandwich or salad for lunch like everyone else.

I grew up in a household where we only ate my parents’ native foods at home. That does not mean I have to expose or bring that food to school or work. I clearly remember my mother always trying to pack ethnic foods for me when I went to college and I didn’t want it in the communal dorm fridge either. Most recently, I had a cousin send her teen daughter to the US for boarding school. We took the girl out to eat ethnic food and she loved it. I was very surprised she didn’t want to take any leftovers to her dorm. She didn’t want to microwave the food or put it in the fridge in the shared kitchen.

I love all kinds of Asian food. I love Asian food from my home country as well my husband’s country. Asian food is my preferred food. That does not mean I have to eat Asian food all three meals of the day. We live in America. I eat cereal, bagels, sandwiches, pasta and lots of Asian food. I don’t need to pack Asian food to school or work.

Where do yo live?

What you described is how it used to be in the US 10+ years ago, but now a days in big metro areas it's so different. Why shouldn't we be able to eat our ethnic food 3x per day if we want? Why do we have to eat "American" food only out in public?

My dad used to take our ethnic food to work in the 70s/80s, and he was made fun of. DC's take our ethnic food to lunch and the response they get is, "that smells good".

It's sad that you can't take your ethnic food to lunches. DC#1 will be going off to college soon in a large urban area with all kinds of different ethnicities, and ethnic restaurants all around. I'm going to be sending our ethnic food to DC quite regularly. DC said they felt so lucky to be living in these times/area where ethnic foods is the norm, and if people don't like it, they just have to deal - Dc's words.

We live in the DMV area. Dh is a physician. Would you want your doctor to smell like ethnic foods? Would you want to go to a meeting and the consultant smell like curry? I would not want to walk into a lawyer’s office and smell potent ethnic foods.

Sometimes we will eat Chinese food and I have my kids brush their teeth and change before sports or an activity. I make them shower if they stink. I don’t want my kids to smell bad. My kids will sometimes say the food smells good and I tell them just to change so they don’t go around smelling like food.

That's an issue with any food that has a strong odor: fried food, fish, pizza/cheese.

DC eats curry at school. They have a breath mint. If they eat out of the container, their clothes aren't going to smell of curry, neither will the smell of curry come out of their pores. This is beyond dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Steamed broccoli that isn’t eaten immediately does smell terrible,

Try packing her less cooked food. Those tend be really odorous, Indian or otherwise. Raw fruits and veggies, cheese, yogurt, nuts, peanut butter, sandwich wraps (you don’t need to use lunch meat, full with whatever she likes).

This. And broccoli is as American as it comes. I mean look, my kid loved tuna fish when he was little, but I most certainly did not pack that in his lunch.