DD's friend said her food stinks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow, looks like one or two posters are working overtime trolling this thread

As I posted once before, I will send non smelly vegetables. My kid would be happy to eat Nutella sandwiches all day, but since I m not in favor of it, she said she will try the PBJ again. She does not like sandwiches in general other than the Nutella or OM lunch meats - I send her veggie sandwiches or veggie patty sandwiches now and then and she does not like them.

My guess is after couple of weeks of PBJ and other sandwiches, she will ask me for what she likes and start to stand up for herself. I will also send non smelly Indian foods alone and see how that goes. If the thread is not locked, I will update.

Please don’t feel like you need to follow the SAD diet of highly processed school lunches. If your kid doesn’t like sandwiches, don’t make her keep trying to eat them.

Talk to the school principal about the bullying. The kid causing your daughter to cry would be better off learning how to behave now so they can be a be a better person. Kids can be cruel but they are also learning so this is a teachable moment.

It’s also best for you to teach your daughter that there will be people in her life (especially mean girls) and show her how to stand up for herself. Let her know that she doesn’t have to take it, she can stand up and dish it back if she absolutely must and you’ll support her. That’s something I wish my mom had taught me. Instead, she would always say things like, just ignore them or kill them with kindness. Then all I got were cheese sandwiches for years. I didn’t learn how to actually defend myself.

Part of that is cultural. Don’t stir the pot..try to diffuse the situation. But you’re living in a different culture now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people saying that broccoli stinks are crazy. Indian spices smell very strong but broccoli by itself doesn’t stink. It’s a very typical vegetable and hardly smells at all.

Roasted or steamed broccoli absolutely smells horrid if not eaten within a few hours. Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people saying that broccoli stinks are crazy. Indian spices smell very strong but broccoli by itself doesn’t stink. It’s a very typical vegetable and hardly smells at all.

Roasted or steamed broccoli absolutely smells horrid if not eaten within a few hours. Absolutely.

+1
And there is a huge range between nutella sandwiches (WTAF?) and broccoli. I love broccoli and I'm embarrassed when I open the container AT HOME - I'm like --didn't fart! Just going to clean out the leftovers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sad to hear OP. Shame in being who you are starts from here. I would talk to the teacher and make sure the culprit doesn’t sit next to your daughter. Definitely no steamed broccoli. But puliogre >>>> any lame American sandwich. This makes for a good conversation with your daughter about should she be who she is or try to fit in. If try to fit in, how much.

I posted previously about the guy I know who doesn’t eat ethnic smelly food before meetings.

We are a mixed Asian American family. We are extremely proud of our heritage. I had a boss from the Midwest who literally ate salad or grilled chicken everyday. Majority of my coworkers were white Americans. Some were more cultured than others. I would sometimes get a banh mi sandwich but I was fine eating a sandwich or salad for lunch like everyone else.

I grew up in a household where we only ate my parents’ native foods at home. That does not mean I have to expose or bring that food to school or work. I clearly remember my mother always trying to pack ethnic foods for me when I went to college and I didn’t want it in the communal dorm fridge either. Most recently, I had a cousin send her teen daughter to the US for boarding school. We took the girl out to eat ethnic food and she loved it. I was very surprised she didn’t want to take any leftovers to her dorm. She didn’t want to microwave the food or put it in the fridge in the shared kitchen.

I love all kinds of Asian food. I love Asian food from my home country as well my husband’s country. Asian food is my preferred food. That does not mean I have to eat Asian food all three meals of the day. We live in America. I eat cereal, bagels, sandwiches, pasta and lots of Asian food. I don’t need to pack Asian food to school or work.

[Anonymous]

For the kids it is different so that is why they are reacting but I have some ideas:

Reach out to the teacher to explain and with the room mom, see if you can have an international food theme class party and bring some of your daughters lunch staples to share.

Or pack some extra sweet Indian treats to see if she can share with her friends, and show them different is not always scary.

Or have some of her friends over for a pot luck where they can taste/try lots of international food and judge their favorites (with lots of sweets for tempting shy palettes)

Also, explain to her that Indian food is part of what makes her family special, and her friends just don’t know much about that yet.

We have such a problem with kids eating pre packaged processed bland junk food in America, we all really need to work on exposing them to healthy, real, nutritious alternatives. You’d really be doing all these kids a big favor op, but I know it’s a big ask.

[Anonymous]

Invite the kid for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the kids it is different so that is why they are reacting but I have some ideas:

Reach out to the teacher to explain and with the room mom, see if you can have an international food theme class party and bring some of your daughters lunch staples to share.

Or pack some extra sweet Indian treats to see if she can share with her friends, and show them different is not always scary.

Or have some of her friends over for a pot luck where they can taste/try lots of international food and judge their favorites (with lots of sweets for tempting shy palettes)

Also, explain to her that Indian food is part of what makes her family special, and her friends just don’t know much about that yet.

We have such a problem with kids eating pre packaged processed bland junk food in America, we all really need to work on exposing them to healthy, real, nutritious alternatives. You’d really be doing all these kids a big favor op, but I know it’s a big ask.

My kid is half Chinese. My kid has friends from all different backgrounds. One of his friends is a picky eater. We have taken him out to get bubble tea and Asian food and the kid doesn’t love it. He is a chicken nuggets and pizza kind of guy. I am not offended in the slightest.

We also have many Persian friends. I have only had Persian food a handful of times but I did not love it either. Same with Ethiopian food. I do like Greek food and afghan food.

It is ok not to like other people’s food. It is obviously rude to comment that it stinks but these are kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t think of any Americanized Indians who pack Indian food to school or work. Every Indian home I have ever been to smells like curry.

Over the years, I have heard many people complain about coworkers or people who smell or their food smells. You don’t want to be known as the person who smells or whose food smells. Wouldn’t you want your daughter to be liked and not cry in the bathroom???

Dh’s best friend is Indian. One of mh kid’s best friend is Indian and another child’s best friend is half Indian. They don’t go around school smelling like Indian food.

I have Asian friends (non Indian) who don’t like to cook Asian food at home because they don’t want their house smelling like Asian food. One guy I know won’t eat Asian food for almost a week before an important client meeting or business trip. You don’t want the impression of you to be a foul smell.

Foul smell? Curry? So ignorant.

I am the pp. we are East Asian and I love curry. I like Indian curry, Japanese curry, Korean curry, etc. I would not want to walk around smelling like curry.

There is no curry in Indian food. That is a word made up by the British to describe Indian food with a sauce. There was an exceedingly long thread on here awhile back trying to educate people about that.

[Anonymous]

You can't change what smells bad or good to a kid and some have very sensitive noses. And while they shouldn't be rude, you need distance from bad smells so they are explaining why they want distance.

Lots of foods have strong smells and especially when they are unfamiliar they often smell 'bad'. I am not sure any human loves the smell of all food world wide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sad to hear OP. Shame in being who you are starts from here. I would talk to the teacher and make sure the culprit doesn’t sit next to your daughter. Definitely no steamed broccoli. But puliogre >>>> any lame American sandwich. This makes for a good conversation with your daughter about should she be who she is or try to fit in. If try to fit in, how much.

I posted previously about the guy I know who doesn’t eat ethnic smelly food before meetings.

We are a mixed Asian American family. We are extremely proud of our heritage. I had a boss from the Midwest who literally ate salad or grilled chicken everyday. Majority of my coworkers were white Americans. Some were more cultured than others. I would sometimes get a banh mi sandwich but I was fine eating a sandwich or salad for lunch like everyone else.

I grew up in a household where we only ate my parents’ native foods at home. That does not mean I have to expose or bring that food to school or work. I clearly remember my mother always trying to pack ethnic foods for me when I went to college and I didn’t want it in the communal dorm fridge either. Most recently, I had a cousin send her teen daughter to the US for boarding school. We took the girl out to eat ethnic food and she loved it. I was very surprised she didn’t want to take any leftovers to her dorm. She didn’t want to microwave the food or put it in the fridge in the shared kitchen.

I love all kinds of Asian food. I love Asian food from my home country as well my husband’s country. Asian food is my preferred food. That does not mean I have to eat Asian food all three meals of the day. We live in America. I eat cereal, bagels, sandwiches, pasta and lots of Asian food. I don’t need to pack Asian food to school or work.

Where do yo live?

What you described is how it used to be in the US 10+ years ago, but now a days in big metro areas it's so different. Why shouldn't we be able to eat our ethnic food 3x per day if we want? Why do we have to eat "American" food only out in public?

My dad used to take our ethnic food to work in the 70s/80s, and he was made fun of. DC's take our ethnic food to lunch and the response they get is, "that smells good".

It's sad that you can't take your ethnic food to lunches. DC#1 will be going off to college soon in a large urban area with all kinds of different ethnicities, and ethnic restaurants all around. I'm going to be sending our ethnic food to DC quite regularly. DC said they felt so lucky to be living in these times/area where ethnic foods is the norm, and if people don't like it, they just have to deal - Dc's words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sad to hear OP. Shame in being who you are starts from here. I would talk to the teacher and make sure the culprit doesn’t sit next to your daughter. Definitely no steamed broccoli. But puliogre >>>> any lame American sandwich. This makes for a good conversation with your daughter about should she be who she is or try to fit in. If try to fit in, how much.

I posted previously about the guy I know who doesn’t eat ethnic smelly food before meetings.

We are a mixed Asian American family. We are extremely proud of our heritage. I had a boss from the Midwest who literally ate salad or grilled chicken everyday. Majority of my coworkers were white Americans. Some were more cultured than others. I would sometimes get a banh mi sandwich but I was fine eating a sandwich or salad for lunch like everyone else.

I grew up in a household where we only ate my parents’ native foods at home. That does not mean I have to expose or bring that food to school or work. I clearly remember my mother always trying to pack ethnic foods for me when I went to college and I didn’t want it in the communal dorm fridge either. Most recently, I had a cousin send her teen daughter to the US for boarding school. We took the girl out to eat ethnic food and she loved it. I was very surprised she didn’t want to take any leftovers to her dorm. She didn’t want to microwave the food or put it in the fridge in the shared kitchen.

I love all kinds of Asian food. I love Asian food from my home country as well my husband’s country. Asian food is my preferred food. That does not mean I have to eat Asian food all three meals of the day. We live in America. I eat cereal, bagels, sandwiches, pasta and lots of Asian food. I don’t need to pack Asian food to school or work.

Where do yo live?

What you described is how it used to be in the US 10+ years ago, but now a days in big metro areas it's so different. Why shouldn't we be able to eat our ethnic food 3x per day if we want? Why do we have to eat "American" food only out in public?

My dad used to take our ethnic food to work in the 70s/80s, and he was made fun of. DC's take our ethnic food to lunch and the response they get is, "that smells good".

It's sad that you can't take your ethnic food to lunches. DC#1 will be going off to college soon in a large urban area with all kinds of different ethnicities, and ethnic restaurants all around. I'm going to be sending our ethnic food to DC quite regularly. DC said they felt so lucky to be living in these times/area where ethnic foods is the norm, and if people don't like it, they just have to deal - Dc's words.

We live in the DMV area. Dh is a physician. Would you want your doctor to smell like ethnic foods? Would you want to go to a meeting and the consultant smell like curry? I would not want to walk into a lawyer’s office and smell potent ethnic foods.

Sometimes we will eat Chinese food and I have my kids brush their teeth and change before sports or an activity. I make them shower if they stink. I don’t want my kids to smell bad. My kids will sometimes say the food smells good and I tell them just to change so they don’t go around smelling like food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people are very sensitive to smells in general, whether they are from food or perfume. Lots of people want to ban perfume from offices. Strong smells just affect some people, no matter what the scent is emanating from.

Because it can give people migraines. Completely different issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sad to hear OP. Shame in being who you are starts from here. I would talk to the teacher and make sure the culprit doesn’t sit next to your daughter. Definitely no steamed broccoli. But puliogre >>>> any lame American sandwich. This makes for a good conversation with your daughter about should she be who she is or try to fit in. If try to fit in, how much.

I posted previously about the guy I know who doesn’t eat ethnic smelly food before meetings.

We are a mixed Asian American family. We are extremely proud of our heritage. I had a boss from the Midwest who literally ate salad or grilled chicken everyday. Majority of my coworkers were white Americans. Some were more cultured than others. I would sometimes get a banh mi sandwich but I was fine eating a sandwich or salad for lunch like everyone else.

I grew up in a household where we only ate my parents’ native foods at home. That does not mean I have to expose or bring that food to school or work. I clearly remember my mother always trying to pack ethnic foods for me when I went to college and I didn’t want it in the communal dorm fridge either. Most recently, I had a cousin send her teen daughter to the US for boarding school. We took the girl out to eat ethnic food and she loved it. I was very surprised she didn’t want to take any leftovers to her dorm. She didn’t want to microwave the food or put it in the fridge in the shared kitchen.

I love all kinds of Asian food. I love Asian food from my home country as well my husband’s country. Asian food is my preferred food. That does not mean I have to eat Asian food all three meals of the day. We live in America. I eat cereal, bagels, sandwiches, pasta and lots of Asian food. I don’t need to pack Asian food to school or work.

Where do yo live?

What you described is how it used to be in the US 10+ years ago, but now a days in big metro areas it's so different. Why shouldn't we be able to eat our ethnic food 3x per day if we want? Why do we have to eat "American" food only out in public?

My dad used to take our ethnic food to work in the 70s/80s, and he was made fun of. DC's take our ethnic food to lunch and the response they get is, "that smells good".

It's sad that you can't take your ethnic food to lunches. DC#1 will be going off to college soon in a large urban area with all kinds of different ethnicities, and ethnic restaurants all around. I'm going to be sending our ethnic food to DC quite regularly. DC said they felt so lucky to be living in these times/area where ethnic foods is the norm, and if people don't like it, they just have to deal - Dc's words.

We live in the DMV area. Dh is a physician. Would you want your doctor to smell like ethnic foods? Would you want to go to a meeting and the consultant smell like curry? I would not want to walk into a lawyer’s office and smell potent ethnic foods.

Sometimes we will eat Chinese food and I have my kids brush their teeth and change before sports or an activity. I make them shower if they stink. I don’t want my kids to smell bad. My kids will sometimes say the food smells good and I tell them just to change so they don’t go around smelling like food.

You think people who eat greasy french fries and onion burgers from McDonald’s don’t smell bad? Have you ever smelled a McDonald’s? Every professional has to use breath mints or teeth brushing after a big meal. You are stigmatizing particular cultures for no reason. No one is saying this child’s clothes are smelly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t think of any Americanized Indians who pack Indian food to school or work. Every Indian home I have ever been to smells like curry.

Over the years, I have heard many people complain about coworkers or people who smell or their food smells. You don’t want to be known as the person who smells or whose food smells. Wouldn’t you want your daughter to be liked and not cry in the bathroom???

Dh’s best friend is Indian. One of mh kid’s best friend is Indian and another child’s best friend is half Indian. They don’t go around school smelling like Indian food.

I have Asian friends (non Indian) who don’t like to cook Asian food at home because they don’t want their house smelling like Asian food. One guy I know won’t eat Asian food for almost a week before an important client meeting or business trip. You don’t want the impression of you to be a foul smell.

Foul smell? Curry? So ignorant.

I am the pp. we are East Asian and I love curry. I like Indian curry, Japanese curry, Korean curry, etc. I would not want to walk around smelling like curry.

There is no curry in Indian food. That is a word made up by the British to describe Indian food with a sauce. There was an exceedingly long thread on here awhile back trying to educate people about that.

Wtf? Have you ever been to India? All of the sauces are described as curry and the best cooks don't actually have a name of anything they cook. There is the actual curry leaf too that is primarily associated with one of the strong flavors in every dish.

That said the issue here isn't curry it's the smell that vegetables give off after being in a container for hours which smells like farts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the kids it is different so that is why they are reacting but I have some ideas:

Reach out to the teacher to explain and with the room mom, see if you can have an international food theme class party and bring some of your daughters lunch staples to share.

Or pack some extra sweet Indian treats to see if she can share with her friends, and show them different is not always scary.

Or have some of her friends over for a pot luck where they can taste/try lots of international food and judge their favorites (with lots of sweets for tempting shy palettes)

Also, explain to her that Indian food is part of what makes her family special, and her friends just don’t know much about that yet.

We have such a problem with kids eating pre packaged processed bland junk food in America, we all really need to work on exposing them to healthy, real, nutritious alternatives. You’d really be doing all these kids a big favor op, but I know it’s a big ask.

My kid is half Chinese. My kid has friends from all different backgrounds. One of his friends is a picky eater. We have taken him out to get bubble tea and Asian food and the kid doesn’t love it. He is a chicken nuggets and pizza kind of guy. I am not offended in the slightest.

We also have many Persian friends. I have only had Persian food a handful of times but I did not love it either. Same with Ethiopian food. I do like Greek food and afghan food.

It is ok not to like other people’s food. It is obviously rude to comment that it stinks but these are kids.

Ok, but you tried the Persian food. And someone else tried it and fell in love with it. If even one other kid at that table says wow that’s yummy other kids will say can I try some etc etc and suddenly the food is interesting and exciting. it’s not about converting everyone it’s just about removing the stigma attached to being different, and celebrating that difference.