After reading this forum…I feel like I did it all wrong. Or did I?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's all about your goals in life, OP.

To me going out to expensive restaurants is a waste of money. In my 20s I had a kid to raise and was already focused on getting all of my kids a great education. We needed to save to visit family abroad. What makes me happy is having a cute house in a great school district (worth 1.5-3M in my location) and being able to afford nice vacations, pay for any college my kids want, help with purchasing their first home, etc.

I hope you won't wake up 10 years from now and realize that you actually missed out on what's truly important.

NP. You are pretty sanctimonious. I can play this game too: having a child in your 20s is not only not "what's important", but imo kind of stupid. You are a kid having a kid. Thanks, no thanks. You miss out on the best decade of your life that should be spent getting higher education, finding yourself, traveling, partying, eating out, going to concerts and museums and sporting events, experiencing the world and starting on a career path...not changing diapers and going to mommy & me classes. But you do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are happy with it, don’t worry about what other people are doing.

In my 20s I was having babies and working full time. I also owned my own home my age 25 and was maxing out my 401k by age 23.

I’m now 48 and have both kids off to college (one actually graduated last may). Since both DH and I work from home we travel so much and we each tag along on the others work trips. We’ve caught all the amazing snow Utah had been having this winter and probably skied a Tito’s of 20 days this season.

I love that fact that we planned well and have so much time now and money to enjoy life. Can’t really relate to the expensive dining out thing. I prefer a burger at a bar and a cold beer.

I am your age, and we caught that same amazing Utah snow this season! However, I have to say that skiing in one's 20s without kids is way better than skiing in your 40s. I loved them young knees and hips So I lived, and I mean LIVED in my 20s and had my kids in my mid and late 30s. No right or wrong way, but this is how we chose to do it and it worked out really well for us. We also focused on our careers in our 20s and 30s and were big earners by the time the kids came. I quit to be a SAHM and DH is making enough to sustain a great lifestyle. I too love the fact that we planned and have time and money to enjoy life with our young kids now - just a different plan from yours.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds to me like you had a great youth! Don't fret and be grateful you had those wonderful experiences.

Also, I don't know about you, but my 20s were not years of high compensation as I was just starting out. What DH and I make in a year now would have taken us the entire decade of our 20s to make We made 5 figures in our 20s, 6 figures in our 30s and 7 figures in our 40s.

I remember taking an Econ class back in college that taught how when one is starting out with their career and adult life, one should be "borrowing" from their expected/potential future earnings to "smooth out" once life experiences. My 20s were my decade of endless energy and zest for life. I certainly don't have that now, and I am so glad I live it up in my twenties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds to me like you had a great youth! Don't fret and be grateful you had those wonderful experiences.

Also, I don't know about you, but my 20s were not years of high compensation as I was just starting out. What DH and I make in a year now would have taken us the entire decade of our 20s to make We made 5 figures in our 20s, 6 figures in our 30s and 7 figures in our 40s.

I remember taking an Econ class back in college that taught how when one is starting out with their career and adult life, one should be "borrowing" from their expected/potential future earnings to "smooth out" once life experiences. My 20s were my decade of endless energy and zest for life. I certainly don't have that now, and I am so glad I live it up in my twenties.

What do you guys do…? Banking?

[Anonymous]

So we found the answer. OP, like most adults, will soon be earning more than $1M in annual salary and stock options, and her question will be moot.

[Anonymous]

I lived my 20s very similar to OP. Yes, I often think about how much money I wasted and how I could have built wealth faster and earlier.

There is a lot I regret, but i don't regret all of it. Now that I have kids, everything is just harder and my priorities have changed. I'm glad I took that trip to Greece or went to that Michelin restaurant when I had the chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, OP. I'm happy to have travelled and tried things in my 20s. I can afford what I want/have now (kids, house admittedly in a lower cost of living area than the DMV, etc). Maybe life would be easier if I had dived into crazy hours at a high-paying job 10 years ago I'd be able to afford a better house/be less stressed about finances/etc. But I can't bring myself to regret the fun and experiences I had and the friends I made and the skills I learned.

Interestingly, while I miss travelling a bit I don't mind passing on it now. I like my bed, I like my home routine, I don't want to find a catsitter, hotels for travelling with kids are SO expensive. I'm glad I saw a lot of the world when I could just up and go and spend $15/night at youth hostel.

Travel with money vs. $15 youth hostels are tow very different things. I have done both, and let me tell you, traveling in my mid 40s now with our kids and on a healthy budget is SO nice and worth it. We have a dog and again, money buys you some really great dog and cat sitters

Maybe I’ll agree with you in a few years (they’re 1 and 3 now so honestly travelling with them will be exhausting no matter what for a while). Although I will say I’ve been on a few adult style trips with friends pre kids (staying at a real hotel and not worrying about money) and still didn’t enjoy it nearly as much. I like hostels. To each their own I guess.