What's the Big Deal with Students Addressing Teachers By First Name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These first name schools are also likely to have openly gay teachers. I suspect that some, but not all of the people, who object to kids calling teachers by first names will also stress out over gay men and women teaching their kids.

I wrote this. What were you thinking I was thinking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These first name schools are also likely to have openly gay teachers. I suspect that some, but not all of the people, who object to kids calling teachers by first names will also stress out over gay men and women teaching their kids.

I think you are mistaken in this assumption. Our DC attends a school where students address teachers by title and last name. Including the openly gay ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These first name schools are also likely to have openly gay teachers. I suspect that some, but not all of the people, who object to kids calling teachers by first names will also stress out over gay men and women teaching their kids.

I think you are mistaken in this assumption. Our DC attends a school where students address teachers by title and last name. Including the openly gay ones.

Oh, no. You need to take a course in logic. The PP you addressed asserted that first-name schools are more likely to have openly gay teachers. Your assertion that your DC's title-and-surname school has openly gay teachers does not refute PP's assertion. Your assertion would refute PP's point only if her point had been that no title-and-surname schools have openly gay teachers.

[Anonymous]

Respect is manifested differently for people on different points of the social spectrum. I would never, for example, say "Hey Barry, how's it hangin'?" unless commanded, not even requested, to do so by President Obama. And I would probably want that command in writing. Does that mean that his life is more intrinsically valuable than mine as a human. No. But he is my social superior so that's just the way it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am one who would definitely eliminate a school based on this issue alone. And actually, I am a fairly progressive/ liberal person in most aspects of my life.

My objection is this: Children calling adults by their first name is not only (in my opinion) a sign of latent disrespect, but it breeds an air of informality, over-familiarity and borderline entitlement that I do not want my children exposed to. Think of it this way: If my six-year-old daughter waltzed into my bosse's office and said, "Hello, Ray, I'm Annie," I would not think it was cute, precocious, charming or anything else even remotely positive! I would think she was displaying the manners of a first-class brat.
It's the same thing at school. I cannot for the life of me fathom why anyone would want to encourage -- even require -- children to do this.

But this is the question: why do you think calling adults by first names makes a child a brat? I don't understand it. I'm from the west coast and grew up calling adults by their first names. My DC goes to a preschool where teachers are called by first names. When my son meets adults, I tend to introduce the adult by first names because it's what he's used to and what I'm used to. My son is a very respectful person as was I as a child. It has nothing to do with what one's called. And, by the way, I'm a professor and, as a PP said, some students call me by my first name and some call me "Professor" -- the level of respect I'm shown has absolutely nothing to do with the title they use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These first name schools are also likely to have openly gay teachers. I suspect that some, but not all of the people, who object to kids calling teachers by first names will also stress out over gay men and women teaching their kids.

I think you are mistaken in this assumption. Our DC attends a school where students address teachers by title and last name. Including the openly gay ones.

Oh, no. You need to take a course in logic. The PP you addressed asserted that first-name schools are more likely to have openly gay teachers. Your assertion that your DC's title-and-surname school has openly gay teachers does not refute PP's assertion. Your assertion would refute PP's point only if her point had been that no title-and-surname schools have openly gay teachers.

If you reread her statement, you'll see the PP did not say first-name schools were "more likely" to have openly gay teachers. She said "likely." The PP also asserted that some parents who favor last names for teachers would "stress out" over gay people teaching their kids. That kind of blanket statement is a mistaken assumption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These first name schools are also likely to have openly gay teachers. I suspect that some, but not all of the people, who object to kids calling teachers by first names will also stress out over gay men and women teaching their kids.

This is outrageous. I am one of the PPs who would not send my child to a school in which children address teachers by their first names. First of all, the more traditional schools my children attend have openly gay teachers, including teachers who regularly speak with the children about being gay and, in one situation, a teacher whose partner is also a teacher and whose children attend the school, with both last names hyphenated. We can call teachers by their last names and still be tolerant, open and for gay rights so please park your self-righteousness. I have raised my children to believe they can marry someone of the same or opposite gender and also that they should treat teachers with respect. Jeez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These first name schools are also likely to have openly gay teachers. I suspect that some, but not all of the people, who object to kids calling teachers by first names will also stress out over gay men and women teaching their kids.

I think you are mistaken in this assumption. Our DC attends a school where students address teachers by title and last name. Including the openly gay ones.

Oh, no. You need to take a course in logic. The PP you addressed asserted that first-name schools are more likely to have openly gay teachers. Your assertion that your DC's title-and-surname school has openly gay teachers does not refute PP's assertion. Your assertion would refute PP's point only if her point had been that no title-and-surname schools have openly gay teachers.

If you reread her statement, you'll see the PP did not say first-name schools were "more likely" to have openly gay teachers. She said "likely." The PP also asserted that some parents who favor last names for teachers would "stress out" over gay people teaching their kids. That kind of blanket statement is a mistaken assumption.

No, if you read closely, the "more" is implicit in PP's statement. She means "likely" relative to title-and-surname schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love the idea that if you call a teacher by your his or her first name that it threatens boundaries between adults and children. You live in a very fragile world.

I wrote about boundaries.

not fragile - quite the opposite, in fact

Children have to learn respect, and by blurring those lines, they will put themselves at your level and often challenge you. You want to challenge children academically; you don't want them to challenge you.

big difference

Do your children call you by your first name instead of using Mom or Dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These first name schools are also likely to have openly gay teachers. I suspect that some, but not all of the people, who object to kids calling teachers by first names will also stress out over gay men and women teaching their kids.

I wrote this. What were you thinking I was thinking?

Which personality is speaking to whom?

Are we talking Eve or Sybyl?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These first name schools are also likely to have openly gay teachers. I suspect that some, but not all of the people, who object to kids calling teachers by first names will also stress out over gay men and women teaching their kids.

I think you are mistaken in this assumption. Our DC attends a school where students address teachers by title and last name. Including the openly gay ones.

Oh, no. You need to take a course in logic. The PP you addressed asserted that first-name schools are more likely to have openly gay teachers. Your assertion that your DC's title-and-surname school has openly gay teachers does not refute PP's assertion. Your assertion would refute PP's point only if her point had been that no title-and-surname schools have openly gay teachers.

If you reread her statement, you'll see the PP did not say first-name schools were "more likely" to have openly gay teachers. She said "likely." The PP also asserted that some parents who favor last names for teachers would "stress out" over gay people teaching their kids. That kind of blanket statement is a mistaken assumption.

No, if you read closely, the "more" is implicit in PP's statement. She means "likely" relative to title-and-surname schools.

You know, I think I can "read closely" with the best of them. I did a lot of reading for my Ph.D. You can argue that "more" is implicit in her statement. I will simply say that I, like the poster who said her statement was outrageous, don't really appreciate being labeled a bigot who would "stress out" over gay teachers simply because teachers use their last names at our kids' school. It's a ridiculous and offensive assumption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No child is the social equal of an adult. That is what use of the requisite title reinforces.

This statement bothers me. I think this mentality is what disempowers children from coming forward as victims of abuse and at the same time empowers the abuser to think the kid will not tell. IMO this is why these situations happen more within the Roman Catholic and Christian Fundamentalist faiths than others, the view that some humans are superior to others. All humans deserve respect.

After attending a very traditional K-8, my DC now attends a progressive high school. I was feeling pretty icky about the addressing teachers by first name policy, but everything else regarding the school's fit to my child was perfect. So I decided to bite the bullet on the first name issue, much the same way I decided to bite the bullet on the "girls can not wear pants" issue at the previous school.

I now feel very differently about the first name policy. I have found at the high school level it has helped create an environment where DC is taking more responsibility for her education. She has learned not to shy away from conflict or accept a situation and/or grade/assignment that does not seem quite right and to respectfully negotiate and stand her ground and to be her own advocate. It is ALWAYS respectful and she also accepts that the educator does have the last word. I credit this to the feeling of openness and mutual respect the first name policy has created at my child's school.

That said, she still addresses adults as Mr. Ms. Mrs until invited to address them by last name. Funny enough, though this is what we have modeled for her since day one, *I* have always preferred children address me by first name. The Ms or Mrs thing always seemed cold to me.

oh no - Here we go again . . . more Catholic bashing.
When will it end?

So you've made the oddest connection, PP, - from the use of titles when addressing teachers to predators!

Bravo for being such a dingbat!

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way 16:12. I don't understand the whole "respect/disrespect" thing. I am not American so maybe there is a cultural subtext here that I am missing. I am from Latin America and while I grew up calling everyone Mr and Mrs (and still do when I go home) I have absolutely no problem with my children calling adults and teachers by their first name and by having my students (I teach 4 year olds) call me by my given name. Actually hearing anyone calling me Mrs.... makes me turn around and start looking for my mom.
I believe both my kids and my students while very young are respectful of adults and that nothing horrible has stemmed from the fact that they use first names.
Now that I think about it, I probably irk a lot of people when I specifically ask children to call me by name. Who knew.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These first name schools are also likely to have openly gay teachers. I suspect that some, but not all of the people, who object to kids calling teachers by first names will also stress out over gay men and women teaching their kids.

I think you are mistaken in this assumption. Our DC attends a school where students address teachers by title and last name. Including the openly gay ones.

Oh, no. You need to take a course in logic. The PP you addressed asserted that first-name schools are more likely to have openly gay teachers. Your assertion that your DC's title-and-surname school has openly gay teachers does not refute PP's assertion. Your assertion would refute PP's point only if her point had been that no title-and-surname schools have openly gay teachers.

If you reread her statement, you'll see the PP did not say first-name schools were "more likely" to have openly gay teachers. She said "likely." The PP also asserted that some parents who favor last names for teachers would "stress out" over gay people teaching their kids. That kind of blanket statement is a mistaken assumption.

No, if you read closely, the "more" is implicit in PP's statement. She means "likely" relative to title-and-surname schools.

You know, I think I can "read closely" with the best of them. I did a lot of reading for my Ph.D. You can argue that "more" is implicit in her statement. I will simply say that I, like the poster who said her statement was outrageous, don't really appreciate being labeled a bigot who would "stress out" over gay teachers simply because teachers use their last names at our kids' school. It's a ridiculous and offensive assumption.

Oooh, a Ph.D! There are many posters with doctorates on this board, and your Ph.D. does not give you a leg up on me. You sound more emotional than rational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These first name schools are also likely to have openly gay teachers. I suspect that some, but not all of the people, who object to kids calling teachers by first names will also stress out over gay men and women teaching their kids.

I think you are mistaken in this assumption. Our DC attends a school where students address teachers by title and last name. Including the openly gay ones.

Oh, no. You need to take a course in logic. The PP you addressed asserted that first-name schools are more likely to have openly gay teachers. Your assertion that your DC's title-and-surname school has openly gay teachers does not refute PP's assertion. Your assertion would refute PP's point only if her point had been that no title-and-surname schools have openly gay teachers.

If you reread her statement, you'll see the PP did not say first-name schools were "more likely" to have openly gay teachers. She said "likely." The PP also asserted that some parents who favor last names for teachers would "stress out" over gay people teaching their kids. That kind of blanket statement is a mistaken assumption.

No, if you read closely, the "more" is implicit in PP's statement. She means "likely" relative to title-and-surname schools.

You know, I think I can "read closely" with the best of them. I did a lot of reading for my Ph.D. You can argue that "more" is implicit in her statement. I will simply say that I, like the poster who said her statement was outrageous, don't really appreciate being labeled a bigot who would "stress out" over gay teachers simply because teachers use their last names at our kids' school. It's a ridiculous and offensive assumption.

Oooh, a Ph.D! There are many posters with doctorates on this board, and your Ph.D. does not give you a leg up on me. You sound more emotional than rational.

You're absolutely right. It's not rational to think being called a bigot is offensive. I'm just being emotional. Thanks for pointing that out!