What's the Big Deal with Students Addressing Teachers By First Name?

[Anonymous]

Phds who want to be called "doctor" are affected. Got no prob with professor.

[Anonymous]

Every campus has its own culture. I went from a campus where everyone was "Professor" to one where everyone was "Doctor." It's not worth the effort to buck the local ways.

[Anonymous]

I am one who would definitely eliminate a school based on this issue alone. And actually, I am a fairly progressive/ liberal person in most aspects of my life.

My objection is this: Children calling adults by their first name is not only (in my opinion) a sign of latent disrespect, but it breeds an air of informality, over-familiarity and borderline entitlement that I do not want my children exposed to. Think of it this way: If my six-year-old daughter waltzed into my bosse's office and said, "Hello, Ray, I'm Annie," I would not think it was cute, precocious, charming or anything else even remotely positive! I would think she was displaying the manners of a first-class brat.

It's the same thing at school. I cannot for the life of me fathom why anyone would want to encourage -- even require -- children to do this.

[Anonymous]

It varies. I've been at schools where faculty were routinely called Doctor (with undergrads generally unaware of which faculty were still ABD or had an MFA) and others where they were routinely called Professor. I've also been in classes where faculty referred to students as Mr. or Ms. Lastname. Personally, both as a student and a faculty member, I preferred being on a first-name basis in the classroom. I could tolerate Professor but hated Doctor (I kept looking around for the old German guy they must be referring to).

And I don't think that the transition from a first name HS to college would be difficult. Kids code-switch all the time. And, in fact, most will have to transition from calling HS teachers Mr. or Ms. to calling college teachers Professor or Doctor (depending on institutional norms). Not to mention the fact that they're becoming adults themselves which changes the rules re formality and titles anyway. In practice, it's just not that hard. And you can always ask people what they prefer to be called.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am one who would definitely eliminate a school based on this issue alone. And actually, I am a fairly progressive/ liberal person in most aspects of my life.

My objection is this: Children calling adults by their first name is not only (in my opinion) a sign of latent disrespect, but it breeds an air of informality, over-familiarity and borderline entitlement that I do not want my children exposed to. Think of it this way: If my six-year-old daughter waltzed into my bosse's office and said, "Hello, Ray, I'm Annie," I would not think it was cute, precocious, charming or anything else even remotely positive! I would think she was displaying the manners of a first-class brat.

It's the same thing at school. I cannot for the life of me fathom why anyone would want to encourage -- even require -- children to do this.

PP-

That is a valid perspective and I would not argue with you making decisions based on that.

With regards to why some schools choose to do it, it is to deliberately break down that formality. The idea is that children, particularly young children, will be able to better connect with teachers who are not viewed as up on high. It is generally part of a larger philosophy that views the role of the teacher very differently than we traditionally think of.

Does that make it right? Nope. Does that mean it works better? Nope. Again, it's a matter of opinion. And there are multiple ways to achieve the same objectives, so progressive learning environments can still have Mr/Mrs. Just wanted to offer the "why" behind it. Or, at least the "why" behind it at the schools I've been in.

Cheers.

[Anonymous]

21:48 I agree completely and I would also consider myself progressive. I do not want my children approaching their education as "equals" to their teachers.

[Anonymous]

My DH loves the first name thing -- he thinks it's an excellent self-selection mechanism and probably saves admissions lots of work.

[Anonymous]

Good discussion--views vary as do schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Children calling adults by their first name ... breeds an air of informality, over-familiarity and borderline entitlement.

My introduction to this practice was a GDS open house in which Kevin Barr talked about what it was like the first time he heard a kid respond to him by prefacing his remarks with "Well Kevin, I think you're wrong." He said he realized that his approach and answer took a different form than it might have had the sentence begun "Mr. Barr, I disagree." Basically, these are arguments (in this case over some text in an English class) that will and should be won based on persuasion rather than pulling rank. And that's the kind of teacher he wanted to be.

I understood where he was coming from and basically agreed. I found it really unnerving when I first started teaching college and kids just wrote down everything I said. You want them to think, to question, to argue. Not just to write it down, memorize it, and reproduce it on command. And as a teacher, I've always felt I got more respect when I had to earn it than when it was automatic. If kids don't challenge and probe, they're just deferring to institutional authority rather than understanding and respecting your position and the reasoning/work/knowledge that underlies it.

In that sense, I don't think teachers are like bosses. High school can be more complicated than college in that regard, but I grew up with parents who were certainly willing and able to explicitly distinguish between situations where best argument wins regardless of who makes it and those where rank could/should be pulled. And the fact that they would acknowledge this distinction made me respect them more -- not less. Mom's always right is obvious BS. Mom's in charge and this is a command decision is a much more reasonable position.

[Anonymous]

Just curious, PP: Does this logic extend to kids calling their own mother by her first name?

[Anonymous]

I'm one of the people who is uncomfortable with the idea of children calling adults by their first name--and while it would give me pause, I wouldn't discount a school because of it. My husband, on the other hand, would never apply to a school with that practice. He finds it to be disrespectful and just too permissive.

[Anonymous]

Another interesting twist. I'm a teacher with a difficult to pronounce last name, as was my mother. She always went by Mrs. First-Initial. I can't do that. To me, that sends the message that names from other cultures/languages or that are otherwise difficult to pronounce are not deserving of the same effort and respect as more "normal" names. I break my last name on day one for my students and expect them to do their best to say it properly. They won't always do it, but they try, and that's what matters. It's not a personal pride thing, as my name is misspelled and mispronounced from it's original language anyway, so I get that people are going to struggle with it. But I feel like it's basic respect to call someone what they wish to be called. If I tell you what my name is and how to say it, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect you to say it the right way. If I so choose to shorten it, that's my choice. But I opt not to.

Or maybe I'm just being anal...? Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

No, it's an argument about interactions in classrooms. And I referenced parents and bosses to suggest that those are relationships that are more hierarchical than good pedagogy should be.

Presumably your logic doesn't extend to having your child call you "Mrs. LastName." Or all teachers "Teacher."

[Anonymous]

If the students call the teacher what s/he wants to be called, isn't that all the respect they need? As long as the students are following the teacher's wishes...

[Anonymous]

Yeah but at GDS teachers do not have a choice--they must go by first name. At Sidwell teachers choose.