If a classmate threatened your child’s life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take it to the top immediately and even call police if the school doesn’t take you seriously. If you truly believe this kid intends to harm yours, then yes I would pull my kid. Does this other child know where you live?

This.

My kid let the school know her friend mentioned shooting someone in school. The child was immediately removed from school. School asked me to come in to talk to the school resource officer. When I arrived the parking lot and lobby were swarming with cops.

This was in FCPS. They took it very, very seriously.

Never saw the offender again.

[Anonymous]

I’m amazed by the posters saying that they’d let the school handle this. I would contact everyone including police and I’d demand that the child be removed from the school immediately. I mean that day. I can’t believe people would just wait and see whether their child will be killed. I’m honestly amazed.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If you’re in FCPS, you would report it to the principal. A risk assessment would be completed by a member of the school support team (psychologist, counselor or social worker) with an administrator present because it was a threat to another person (versus a threat to self). There is a protocol with very specific questions to help determine the level of seriousness of the threat. They then follow through with contacting parents, discipline, etc.

Thanks. What happens after this step? Assuming if the independent evaluation comes back clear the student returns to class.

If the student is allowed back, how do they deal with the fallout? Who knows how the student will react to being disciplined. Other students report anger issues in class. These kids are about to go through a time of life when big feelings only get bigger. Would you keep your child at the school for the rest of their education if the other kid was staying?

This is what you care about?

Ethan Crumbley was doing the exact same thing. REPORT IT NOW.

I think we should all take it down a notch. I agree that OP should go to the school. But many many kids (and this kid is just 10-11) express fantasies like this. There’s a massive difference between normal (albeit undesirable) expressions and serious mental illness + guns that happened in the Crumbley case.

Literally no.

I work in this field and can tell you that this is the age when these signs first manifest themself. Many kids do draw pictures of weapons and fights, but few draw specific pictures targeting one individual. Also, if the child is disruptive or bullying, I would see it as a serious concern.

Having worked with parents of school shooters and violent juveniles, I would be at the school first thing and want a target hardening report done of the school as well as a threat assessment of the child.

Also, what kind of threat assessment? Who would have access to the results?

Depend on the state, a threat assessment is a mental health evaluation done by professionals to see if this is just general kid stuff, expressing anger at something in the home life, or if there is a threat/rish that the child will take action.

Example, FCPS has a threat assessment protocol that they must follow in cases such as these. The folks who would have access are the Childs family and the school. Again, each school district and state is different.

Thanks, I really appreciate this. We are at a private school so I don’t know what protocol, if any, they need to follow. Maybe from the state.

If the assessment clears the child to come back, how reliable is it?

This is a case in which the child is known to have anger outbursts in class over various issues and has had difficulty with other kids. My kid has been singled out (according to their friends and classmates also) over the past year or two. It has been addressed via conversations with teachers and parents. The conversation with parents was recent. The gun and knife were drawn on a school assignment asking children to picture what they wanted to happen in the new year. Child showed it and explained it to other classmates who reported. It is concerning that this happened after the conversation with parents, as it’s unclear how the child will respond to further discipline and isolation.

My heart truly breaks for the child, the teacher, and everyone — it’s not a good situation. At the same time my first job as a parent is to make sure my teacher was safe.

I'm not as familiar with regulations around private school. It would depend on your state. These assessments can either be really good - or not so good, again, depending on state and what protocol they follow. If you are in Virginia or Maryland, both have strong threat assessment tools for public schools. Again, I don't know what private school uses and I'd ask if they are doing a "mental health" assessment or a "threat assessment" or both.

I'd also download the code of conduct from your private school and see what it allows (how many violent outbursts, any physical altercations). Get familiar and use that as a tool to assist.

Very helpful — thanks so much, appreciate your help.

[Anonymous]

I was being bullied in middle school and wrote a note saying “I want these people to die.” Of course I was suspended. I’m sure they faced no consequences. Are you sure it isn’t your child doing the bullying, OP?

[Anonymous]

OP, do not pass go. Call the police today and file a report. Inform the school head and board of directors that you are retaining counsel. File a restraining order.

You could keep your own child home until the violent one is removed but I agree your child 100% needs to be safe but it’s punishing him to withdraw him if you’re otherwise happy with the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:If you’re in FCPS, you would report it to the principal. A risk assessment would be completed by a member of the school support team (psychologist, counselor or social worker) with an administrator present because it was a threat to another person (versus a threat to self). There is a protocol with very specific questions to help determine the level of seriousness of the threat. They then follow through with contacting parents, discipline, etc.

Thanks. What happens after this step? Assuming if the independent evaluation comes back clear the student returns to class.

If the student is allowed back, how do they deal with the fallout? Who knows how the student will react to being disciplined. Other students report anger issues in class. These kids are about to go through a time of life when big feelings only get bigger. Would you keep your child at the school for the rest of their education if the other kid was staying?

This is what you care about?

Ethan Crumbley was doing the exact same thing. REPORT IT NOW.

Not sure what you mean. It has been reported. If you mean police, what would they even do?

Reported where, I didn't see the OP mention reporting it.

I would report first to the principal (not teacher) and the school guidance counselor if they have one. If I didn't get an immediate response that assessments were being done, I'd go to the police.

OP — principal is the one who informed us. Assessment of the child is being done. What is unclear is what happens if the child is allowed to come back after this. What are we supposed to do, watch and wait? It doesn’t feel safe for them to have access to the child who was threatened.

I would get a detailed report from the principal on the actions they are taking. I would also demand (no matter what the assessment shows) that the individual be moved to another class (not your child). Additionally, I would ask for a safety plan that shows how the individual is being monitored by the school until the end of the year. Last, I would want to know exactly how this individual is being kept away from my child during school hours.

That isn't something you have a say in. No matter how much you yell and scream and stomp your feet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re in FCPS, you would report it to the principal. A risk assessment would be completed by a member of the school support team (psychologist, counselor or social worker) with an administrator present because it was a threat to another person (versus a threat to self). There is a protocol with very specific questions to help determine the level of seriousness of the threat. They then follow through with contacting parents, discipline, etc.

Thanks. What happens after this step? Assuming if the independent evaluation comes back clear the student returns to class.

If the student is allowed back, how do they deal with the fallout? Who knows how the student will react to being disciplined. Other students report anger issues in class. These kids are about to go through a time of life when big feelings only get bigger. Would you keep your child at the school for the rest of their education if the other kid was staying?

This is what you care about?

Ethan Crumbley was doing the exact same thing. REPORT IT NOW.

I think we should all take it down a notch. I agree that OP should go to the school. But many many kids (and this kid is just 10-11) express fantasies like this. There’s a massive difference between normal (albeit undesirable) expressions and serious mental illness + guns that happened in the Crumbley case.

Literally no.

I work in this field and can tell you that this is the age when these signs first manifest themself. Many kids do draw pictures of weapons and fights, but few draw specific pictures targeting one individual. Also, if the child is disruptive or bullying, I would see it as a serious concern.

Having worked with parents of school shooters and violent juveniles, I would be at the school first thing and want a target hardening report done of the school as well as a threat assessment of the child.

Also, what kind of threat assessment? Who would have access to the results?

Depend on the state, a threat assessment is a mental health evaluation done by professionals to see if this is just general kid stuff, expressing anger at something in the home life, or if there is a threat/rish that the child will take action.

Example, FCPS has a threat assessment protocol that they must follow in cases such as these. The folks who would have access are the Childs family and the school. Again, each school district and state is different.

Thanks, I really appreciate this. We are at a private school so I don’t know what protocol, if any, they need to follow. Maybe from the state.

If the assessment clears the child to come back, how reliable is it?

This is a case in which the child is known to have anger outbursts in class over various issues and has had difficulty with other kids. My kid has been singled out (according to their friends and classmates also) over the past year or two. It has been addressed via conversations with teachers and parents. The conversation with parents was recent. The gun and knife were drawn on a school assignment asking children to picture what they wanted to happen in the new year. Child showed it and explained it to other classmates who reported. It is concerning that this happened after the conversation with parents, as it’s unclear how the child will respond to further discipline and isolation.

My heart truly breaks for the child, the teacher, and everyone — it’s not a good situation. At the same time my first job as a parent is to make sure my teacher was safe.

This is a private school???? And this student has repeatedly had outbursts?

Yeah, I’d be pushing for the removal of this kid. I’d come in with a lawyer saying that the school is not holding up their end of the contract you likely had to sign to attend this school. Hell, I might even let other parents know about this and demand answers.

It’s clear that this student needs help. AND right now your kid (and others) are not feeling safe based on repeated actions by this student.

!000% this and OP you are a crappy parent for leaving your kid at this school for so long. WTH? Who does this?

So what you are saying is the victim should leave the school and his friends?

I'm not the pp you quoted, but YES!
Sometimes it's better to ensure the safety of your child, than to stand up for your rights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re in FCPS, you would report it to the principal. A risk assessment would be completed by a member of the school support team (psychologist, counselor or social worker) with an administrator present because it was a threat to another person (versus a threat to self). There is a protocol with very specific questions to help determine the level of seriousness of the threat. They then follow through with contacting parents, discipline, etc.

Thanks. What happens after this step? Assuming if the independent evaluation comes back clear the student returns to class.

If the student is allowed back, how do they deal with the fallout? Who knows how the student will react to being disciplined. Other students report anger issues in class. These kids are about to go through a time of life when big feelings only get bigger. Would you keep your child at the school for the rest of their education if the other kid was staying?

This is what you care about?

Ethan Crumbley was doing the exact same thing. REPORT IT NOW.

Not sure what you mean. It has been reported. If you mean police, what would they even do?

Reported where, I didn't see the OP mention reporting it.

I would report first to the principal (not teacher) and the school guidance counselor if they have one. If I didn't get an immediate response that assessments were being done, I'd go to the police.

OP — principal is the one who informed us. Assessment of the child is being done. What is unclear is what happens if the child is allowed to come back after this. What are we supposed to do, watch and wait? It doesn’t feel safe for them to have access to the child who was threatened.

I would get a detailed report from the principal on the actions they are taking. I would also demand (no matter what the assessment shows) that the individual be moved to another class (not your child). Additionally, I would ask for a safety plan that shows how the individual is being monitored by the school until the end of the year. Last, I would want to know exactly how this individual is being kept away from my child during school hours.

That isn't something you have a say in. No matter how much you yell and scream and stomp your feet.

Not officially but it’s a reasonable part of a safety plan and the school is going to have a huge embarrassment issue if they turn it down. Now is not the time to mess with threats of gun violence in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely escalate if it wasn’t taken seriously. I would not want that child in my child class. ( I have a 5th grader) I would want to know if the child has access to a weapon at home. The Police would need to get involved for this. If no gun at home I’d be less worried. If parents are gun owners I’d be way more concerned.

Gun owners or not I would be concerned. As others have said, immediately escalate to the school and even police. I am so sorry this is happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely escalate if it wasn’t taken seriously. I would not want that child in my child class. ( I have a 5th grader) I would want to know if the child has access to a weapon at home. The Police would need to get involved for this. If no gun at home I’d be less worried. If parents are gun owners I’d be way more concerned.

You don't have the right to that information.

[Anonymous]

What would the police even do? There is no law.

[Anonymous]

I would email the school and notify them that I am calling the police, with my hand on the phone doing that.

Yes, it is a crime to threaten to kill someone. In Maryland, the crime is assault.

[Anonymous]

I’d also keep the kid home until there was a safety plan I was comfortable with. And I would write to the other parents I knew in that school telling them what happened and how the school has responded. Hopefully that will be good news, but if not, better for everyone to know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would the police even do? There is no law.

What planet are you living on? Threatening to kill someone is illegal everywhere in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re in FCPS, you would report it to the principal. A risk assessment would be completed by a member of the school support team (psychologist, counselor or social worker) with an administrator present because it was a threat to another person (versus a threat to self). There is a protocol with very specific questions to help determine the level of seriousness of the threat. They then follow through with contacting parents, discipline, etc.

Thanks. What happens after this step? Assuming if the independent evaluation comes back clear the student returns to class.

If the student is allowed back, how do they deal with the fallout? Who knows how the student will react to being disciplined. Other students report anger issues in class. These kids are about to go through a time of life when big feelings only get bigger. Would you keep your child at the school for the rest of their education if the other kid was staying?

This is what you care about?

Ethan Crumbley was doing the exact same thing. REPORT IT NOW.

I think we should all take it down a notch. I agree that OP should go to the school. But many many kids (and this kid is just 10-11) express fantasies like this. There’s a massive difference between normal (albeit undesirable) expressions and serious mental illness + guns that happened in the Crumbley case.

Literally no.

I work in this field and can tell you that this is the age when these signs first manifest themself. Many kids do draw pictures of weapons and fights, but few draw specific pictures targeting one individual. Also, if the child is disruptive or bullying, I would see it as a serious concern.

Having worked with parents of school shooters and violent juveniles, I would be at the school first thing and want a target hardening report done of the school as well as a threat assessment of the child.

Also, what kind of threat assessment? Who would have access to the results?

Depend on the state, a threat assessment is a mental health evaluation done by professionals to see if this is just general kid stuff, expressing anger at something in the home life, or if there is a threat/rish that the child will take action.

Example, FCPS has a threat assessment protocol that they must follow in cases such as these. The folks who would have access are the Childs family and the school. Again, each school district and state is different.

Thanks, I really appreciate this. We are at a private school so I don’t know what protocol, if any, they need to follow. Maybe from the state.

If the assessment clears the child to come back, how reliable is it?

This is a case in which the child is known to have anger outbursts in class over various issues and has had difficulty with other kids. My kid has been singled out (according to their friends and classmates also) over the past year or two. It has been addressed via conversations with teachers and parents. The conversation with parents was recent. The gun and knife were drawn on a school assignment asking children to picture what they wanted to happen in the new year. Child showed it and explained it to other classmates who reported. It is concerning that this happened after the conversation with parents, as it’s unclear how the child will respond to further discipline and isolation.

My heart truly breaks for the child, the teacher, and everyone — it’s not a good situation. At the same time my first job as a parent is to make sure my teacher was safe.

Send an email to the principal detailing the ongoing bullying and targeting of your son by this student. Include the impact on your son - he is avoiding ECs that this other kid will be at. It's very important to do this in writing. Since you're at a private school, I would be very clear in your expectations of what they do to handle this situation, for instance they can ask the other student to leave.

I would strongly consider contacting law enforcement as well. Who knows how effectively a private school admin's threat assessment will be. I would not rely on that.

I would not contact the other child's parents yourself. Let the police and the school admin do that.