Why?? (Grandparent gifting rant)

[Anonymous]

Get the correct doll. Only debate is when to give it to her. Do you have a very close adult friend who can be the one who gives her the doll? so, maybe not you and not Santa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This literally happened to me, except it was a Cabbage Patch kid. To be fair to my mom, it was impossible to get them back then, but the beautiful, hand-made, high quality doll that was almost a Cabbage Patch kid just wasn't the same for me. Get the AG doll if you can before Christmas.

This happened to me as well. One of my earliest memories is being spanked on Christmas because I cried that my doll was fake.

OP get the doll.

Aw. I’m sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tel your mom she needs to return the doll because your DD is expecting the AG doll and has already bought the accessories thinking that's what granny is buying.

THIS is why my parents send me money and ask me to buy whatever the kids what and say it's from them.

But the mom can give whatever she wants to give. The mom is not obligated. It's presumptuous to expect her to buy a certain gift and it's more than presumptuous to demand she return it to the store.

Not after telling OP she was buying a specific doll and after the OP bought accessories for the specific doll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get the correct doll. Only debate is when to give it to her. Do you have a very close adult friend who can be the one who gives her the doll? so, maybe not you and not Santa.

Why? No debate. Mom and dad give her the doll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 5yo really wants an American Girl doll for Christmas so my mom said she would love to get it for her as something really special. My DD had picked out the exact doll she wanted so I sent a link to my mom and she said to consider it done.

Now here we are a little over a week before Christmas and my mom texts me to say that she found a different doll that her friend told her is better quality than American Girl and she has ordered it for my DD. The doll is completely different from an American Girl doll - it appears to be a knit material on the face and body instead of plastic, and its 15 inches not 18 (so it doesn’t fit the clothes I bought for this doll from AG). And it was not cheap - more than an AG doll!!

My DD will be so disappointed now and I am strongly considering going to get the one she wants this weekend. What is my mom thinking??? I wish she hasn’t said she would get it for DD and then taken it upon herself to get something else that costs more and my daughter will hate. Good intentions, but swap outs don’t work with these kinds of gifts where kids want something very specific.

Do I go get the correct doll or let DD be disappointed?

Absolutely, you should. Maybe it will teach your mother to listen to you about what YOUR DD really wants because she will ignore the doll your mother gives her.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't ask for the grandmother to switch the doll because I wouldn't trust she'd actually do it.

OP needs to get the doll herself, if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tel your mom she needs to return the doll because your DD is expecting the AG doll and has already bought the accessories thinking that's what granny is buying.

THIS is why my parents send me money and ask me to buy whatever the kids what and say it's from them.

Yep. Why can't people on DCUM just be direct? This would solve most of your problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't ask for the grandmother to switch the doll because I wouldn't trust she'd actually do it.

OP needs to get the doll herself, if possible.

This. I would just buy the doll OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tel your mom she needs to return the doll because your DD is expecting the AG doll and has already bought the accessories thinking that's what granny is buying.

THIS is why my parents send me money and ask me to buy whatever the kids what and say it's from them.

But the mom can give whatever she wants to give. The mom is not obligated. It's presumptuous to expect her to buy a certain gift and it's more than presumptuous to demand she return it to the store.

She said she was buying it.

[Anonymous]

Get the AG doll for your daughter. Let Grandma give hers. I wouldn't discuss with your mom ahead of time. Just do what is best for your daughter. My parents tried this kind of crap. I never understood. I'm a grandma now and am so happy to get exactly what my grandkids want! My grandson circled ads and knows I listen

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone, this is OP. Got the AG doll she wants and we will also give her the doll my mom got her.

I have not said anything to my mom yet about getting it, and not sure I even will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford it, I would absolutely go get the doll your DD picked out. If your mom says anything, I would have no problem telling her that your DD was so excited picking out the specific one she wanted and was looking forward to it. Then going forward, I wouldn’t tell your mom the gift your DD wants most. I would share something else with her to buy.

+1. I learned this a long time ago with my mom. If it was something really specific that came from parents or Santa (or my in-laws!).

[Anonymous]

Lots of older people get very hung up on quality. It was important to buy things that were well made and last. The OP doesn’t seem to indicate that her mom has a history of being a jerk. I’d get the doll for my daughter and in the future not give important gift suggestions to my mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get the correct doll. Only debate is when to give it to her. Do you have a very close adult friend who can be the one who gives her the doll? so, maybe not you and not Santa.

Why? No debate. Mom and dad give her the doll.

Agree. Why would a friend give it? OP, give her the doll yourself.

[Anonymous]

I would get the doll my DD wanted and in the future I would not leave your child's most wished for gift to grandparents because now you know they pull stuff like this. My mom is the same way -- she'll insist on wanting to get the most special gift but then she'll also insist on doing it in a way that is about her and not about my daughter. I've learned to give her other ideas and not the thing my kid wants the most. My mom doesn't understand that gift giving is about the recipient -- to her it's a way for her to shine and be special. It's exhausting.