Why?? (Grandparent gifting rant)

[Anonymous]

I would tel your mom she needs to return the doll because your DD is expecting the AG doll and has already bought the accessories thinking that's what granny is buying.

THIS is why my parents send me money and ask me to buy whatever the kids what and say it's from them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford it, I would absolutely go get the doll your DD picked out. If your mom says anything, I would have no problem telling her that your DD was so excited picking out the specific one she wanted and was looking forward to it. Then going forward, I wouldn’t tell your mom the gift your DD wants most. I would share something else with her to buy.

+1 I wouldn't even explain it to the mom if she asked. She made her choice. You can make yours. Luckily she told you in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford it, I would absolutely go get the doll your DD picked out. If your mom says anything, I would have no problem telling her that your DD was so excited picking out the specific one she wanted and was looking forward to it. Then going forward, I wouldn’t tell your mom the gift your DD wants most. I would share something else with her to buy.

Exactly this! Going forward if it’s a very specific item (which will get increasingly specific as your DD gets older- I have a teen DD and she has asked for extremely specific shoes for Christmas) it might be better to have that gift come from you so you can be certain it’s right.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like Santa needs to step in and bring the AG doll. My mom is also the queen of making a big fuss about getting something special for someone and then changing the gift and saying her idea is better.

As an aside, this sounds a lot like a Stupsi doll. They were fancy German dolls in the 70s to mid-1980s (pre-AG era) and are just the kind of thing a grandma would want. They were really expensive back then. I wasn’t allowed to play with mine.

[Anonymous]

This is why I give my kids money. My grandkids get a few gifts, but the family gift is always cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tel your mom she needs to return the doll because your DD is expecting the AG doll and has already bought the accessories thinking that's what granny is buying.

THIS is why my parents send me money and ask me to buy whatever the kids what and say it's from them.

But the mom can give whatever she wants to give. The mom is not obligated. It's presumptuous to expect her to buy a certain gift and it's more than presumptuous to demand she return it to the store.

[Anonymous]

I think you should let your mom know the faux doll won't fit the clothes or accessories. She sounds gullible if she let someone talk her into getting some overpriced off-brand. And you should buy the correct doll yourself if you can. Your mom can get her something else.

[Anonymous]

OMG! Go buy the AG doll your daughter picked out if you can. I have a 5 year old daughter as well and I know she'd be super disappointed to not get the specific doll she picked out and has probably been wanting a long time. In the future, don't leave the most coveted gift for your mom to get. Your mom either forgot or else never understood that kids this age won't appreciate the "better quality" gift; they will want the gift they've had in mind!

Last year my daughter really wanted a baby doll high chair for Christmas and we got her one but she was disappointed because she had wanted a purple one and the one I bought her was white. It was the same high chair just a different color. I know it's OK and even good for kids to sometimes learn that they don't always get exactly what they want and that life is full of disappointments but personally I don't think that lesson should be learned at Christmas at age 5!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tel your mom she needs to return the doll because your DD is expecting the AG doll and has already bought the accessories thinking that's what granny is buying.

THIS is why my parents send me money and ask me to buy whatever the kids what and say it's from them.

But the mom can give whatever she wants to give. The mom is not obligated. It's presumptuous to expect her to buy a certain gift and it's more than presumptuous to demand she return it to the store.

In a vacuum, yes. But when grandma (i) asks what her granddaughter wants; (ii) says she will get that one specific thing; and (iii) knows that Mom is getting accessories to match the gift, it's not at all presumptuous to expect her to do what she said. To do otherwise is obnoxious by grandma.

OP, I'd definitely ask her if she can return it, and also tell her that if she can't, you'll be getting the AG doll your daughter requested.

And I can sympathize (though not on the specifics) - my mother always asked what my daughter wanted, but she won't shop online, for some unfathomable reason, so it had to be something she could get at the small shopping mall near her. So irritating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you just talk to your mom and tell her it’s not a good swap out and ask if she’s wants to purchase the correct one or if you should?

+1

[Anonymous]

Definitely go get the doll and never leave the most important gift in someone else’s hands. Now you know. You can blame your mom this time, but next time is on you.

[Anonymous]

What was she thinking? Was it sticker shock? She's got you in a bind and you should try to get the doll if you can. I wouldn't let a 5 year old be disappointed about this, her joy will be worth it in the long run.

[Anonymous]

I would get it myself. I think setting your daughter up for disappointment is mean to her and also a little cruel to your mom who is giving the "wrong" thing with the best of intentions. Tell you daughter the dolls are "best friends".

[Anonymous]

Depending on your mom's age and how aware she is, she may not realize the significance of it being an AG doll specifically. She probably thought she was helping by buying your daughter something so nice that you'd never even heard of it. I'd definitely go get the AG doll. You don't need to chastise your mom about the mistake. Next time you'll know that this kind of switcheroo is possible with your mom and plan around it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Santa needs to step in and bring the AG doll. My mom is also the queen of making a big fuss about getting something special for someone and then changing the gift and saying her idea is better.

As an aside, this sounds a lot like a Stupsi doll. They were fancy German dolls in the 70s to mid-1980s (pre-AG era) and are just the kind of thing a grandma would want. They were really expensive back then. I wasn’t allowed to play with mine.

New poster here.
Another poster mentioned Waldorf doll, and that made me picture a Kathe Kruse doll.
https://www.amazon.com/Kathe-Kruse-Waldorf-Doll-Tolipar/dp/B00I5AN08G