Kids on a leash

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone please post a link to the 'backpack' mentioned earlier in the thread, the one that keeps the kid leashed? My DC is not walking yet, but who knows, he might turn into one of those 'runners'.

We use a puppy backpack/leash, which our two-year-old loves. It's made by Eddie Bauer. I think you can buy them at Target or on Amazon. I don't feel self conscious using it. My son can dart into traffic faster than we can stop him and we are both fit.

I'm curious, for the OP and others, if I could prove to you, by asking him, that my son prefers his backpack to a stroller or having me grip his hand tightly all the time, would that matter to you? He loves to be free to roam and use both hands, and I love that he isn't in the street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I also think the leashes are waaaay weird. No offense, leashers. But I am curious- don't you leashers feel incredibly self conscious while using it? Most people I know, parents and non parents are horrified when seeing the leash. Also, I know you all want to justify the leash by having "active" children. Well, I have 2 toddler twin boys and they are very active but no, not going to use the leash on them.

You have 2 kids and 2 hands. Assume 1 might be in the stroller and another walking. Or both are walking. How many hands do you have for a third child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I also think the leashes are waaaay weird. No offense, leashers. But I am curious- don't you leashers feel incredibly self conscious while using it? Most people I know, parents and non parents are horrified when seeing the leash. Also, I know you all want to justify the leash by having "active" children. Well, I have 2 toddler twin boys and they are very active but no, not going to use the leash on them.

You have 2 kids and 2 hands. Assume 1 might be in the stroller and another walking. Or both are walking. How many hands do you have for a third child?

Nice try, buddy. Still not going to use a leash for my children. Good luck on raising yours.

[Anonymous]

Poster 18:36 most of the people on this thread don't actually leash their children but at the same time they understand why someone would use the "leash". You do realize this doesn't involve a dog collar and the parents don't actually make their kids crawl on all fours . Now THAT would be weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I also think the leashes are waaaay weird. No offense, leashers. But I am curious- don't you leashers feel incredibly self conscious while using it? Most people I know, parents and non parents are horrified when seeing the leash. Also, I know you all want to justify the leash by having "active" children. Well, I have 2 toddler twin boys and they are very active but no, not going to use the leash on them.

You have 2 kids and 2 hands. Assume 1 might be in the stroller and another walking. Or both are walking. How many hands do you have for a third child?

Nice try, buddy. Still not going to use a leash for my children. Good luck on raising yours.[/quote]

At least "buddy's" kids will be alive to raise.

[Anonymous]

Definitely tell the mom of this teen that she did the right thing in not using a leash or harness with her child:

http://allday.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2009/08/06/4379417-allday-update-paralyzed-teen-still-surfingand-now-his-dog-is-too

Of course, he is doing great, and can do things I can't dream of, but I'm sure both he and his mom would have both preferred his accident not have happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold their hands. It's a lot more acceptable in this culture, where tethering anyone with a leash is pretty dehumanizing.

and when they pull out of your hand hold and break away from you, running as fast as they can towards the street while you are still dealing with your other children and cannot just leave them in the stroller or playing while you chase the runner, who just runs faster when you call to them?

Really, you can't sufficiently hold onto your child's hand?

I can hold onto my child's hand just fine. But when my son becomes antsy and drops to ground in the middle of a busy sidewalk (doing the passive resistance move), I can only do so much.

He's two.

Should I sit and reason with him like so many of you "claim" you can do? b/c that really works . . .

You're all fooling yourselves if you think toddlers suddenly can be trained to reason.

And actually, PP, I'm questioning your ability to "sufficiently hold onto" a child's hand. Are you implying that perhaps a bit of manhandling is in order?

You really don't see the difference between restraining a child remotely through a leash and holding his hand? Being in human contact with him so he recognizes the signals given through the change in your grip on him or the way you position your arm? Being able to bend down and tell him he needs to cooperate or stay close or whatever? Rather than trying to wrangle him from 5 feet away?

If your kid drops to the sidewalk, pick him up and carry him. He's two.

You obviously don't have a 2 yo boy. They're feisty and active. And sometimes carrying them can be dangerous. And let me add that I have an older daughter who, although quite calm, shouldn't be pushed aside as I "carry" my boy while he thrashes around.

You are clearly clueless.

I love how when someone has a dissenting opinion, people are quick to call her a troll, idiotic, or clueless. Says a lot for your ability to argue your point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
totally agree

with parents willing to distance themselves from actively parenting their children it's not surprise that so many kids are out of control.

You've made the leap that if a mother uses a leash as a back up safety plan that they no longer actively parent their child?? You don't think you are being a bit extreme? Then I guess I could say that the parents who don't use a leash (by the way I hate using the word leash) don't care enough about their children to do everything they can to ensure their safety. That sounded stupid right? Just like mother's who care enough to make sure their kids don't run off in a crowd aren't actively parenting since they aren't making flesh on flesh contact. I guess with that kind of reasoning mother's who use strollers aren't actively parenting either. We could go on and on with that string of logic.

can you really actively parent your child when they are 5' away from you? how can you talk with them when they are facing away and heading away from you? or do you ask them to walk next to you (or hold their hand) and still have the leash on them? is that what you mean by "backup"? it's not the physical connection as much as being close together and being engaged/talking - instead of letting them run off ahead as far as they can.

kids won't end up damaged from the leash - and it's certainly better than being distracted and NOT holding their had - but it's a missed opportunity for parents to engage with their kids and teach them how to behave properly in that situation. when kids don't have the repeated opportunities to learn then I'm really not surprised that those "active" kids don't listen. sure the "safety" is there (except maybe when you are using a leash with a kid right near a cliff at Great Falls - WTF?!?!), but the connection with the kid isn't.

and yes, it's really difficult to actively parent when using some strollers - a bit easier when the kids are facing you...strollers are really about the parent's convenience, just like the leash.

my youngest is now 3 (and very independent & active!) and for as long as he has been walking on his own on outings (since maybe 18-20mo) he is expected to stay with me - and hold hands when I ask (if we're near the street, it's crowded, etc.). if he doesn't do that then he faces the consequences (go in the cart, get carried, or just leave). and we practice this every.single.time. we go somewhere - we talk about it before we get out of the car, I remind him when we get close to the street, etc. and he does have his runner moments on occasion but I catch him (I always wear comfy shoes these days!) and then follow through with consequences. but for the most part he really listens, stays with me - we talk & joke around, and he almost always holds my hand when I ask the first time. because we've practiced this. and he understands the consequences. we also spend time playing running games in safe spots (parks, etc.) - I let him run up to a certain spot (a tree) as fast as he can and then run back to me. he has learned that there are times & places for running vs. holding hands...

do what you want with your kids, leash or no leash, but most of the time when I see a parent using a leash I do think that the parents are checking out a bit on their parenting duties... And I'm sure I do things with my kids in public that other parents think are off too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold their hands. It's a lot more acceptable in this culture, where tethering anyone with a leash is pretty dehumanizing.

and when they pull out of your hand hold and break away from you, running as fast as they can towards the street while you are still dealing with your other children and cannot just leave them in the stroller or playing while you chase the runner, who just runs faster when you call to them?

Really, you can't sufficiently hold onto your child's hand?

I would argue, how comfortable for the child is hand-holding for a long time? I'm not talking about across the street or in a parking lot, I mean walking in the mall, at a carnival, etc? Think about it, their arms are WAY up in the air to hold you hand. YOU try walking with one arm all the way up for an extended period of time and see how comfortable it is and how quickly you lose circulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold their hands. It's a lot more acceptable in this culture, where tethering anyone with a leash is pretty dehumanizing.

and when they pull out of your hand hold and break away from you, running as fast as they can towards the street while you are still dealing with your other children and cannot just leave them in the stroller or playing while you chase the runner, who just runs faster when you call to them?

Really, you can't sufficiently hold onto your child's hand?

I would argue, how comfortable for the child is hand-holding for a long time? I'm not talking about across the street or in a parking lot, I mean walking in the mall, at a carnival, etc? Think about it, their arms are WAY up in the air to hold you hand. YOU try walking with one arm all the way up for an extended period of time and see how comfortable it is and how quickly you lose circulation.

And to add on to this (not the PP), one time when I was holding my little runner's hand, she pulled away from me as I tried to pull her back, and she ended up with nursemaid's elbow and a trip to the urgent care facility. So...yeah. Wish I'd had a leash for that one.

My parents used a leash for me and my younger brother when they had to travel with us by air (in the airport to keep us from running off). Hasn't damaged us, and we're both very close to our parents. It's a really dumb, uninformed, and unintelligent "argument" to say that parents who use leashes are bad or don't care about their children or aren't fostering closeness or aren't teaching them proper behavior.

[Anonymous]

Poster 20:15 once again you are making HUGE assumptions that a parent that is using the "leash" is totally checking out just because they have the "leash" on the child. I myself have not used a leash. BUT I do totally understand using it as a backup for my DD who literally will dart away from me in one second flat. How did you make the assumption that if I used this that I would then let my child only walk 5' away from me all while I walk around in a self-absorbed daze?? If I were to use one of these things at no point would that automatically make me disengage as a parent. At no point would it make me feel safe enough to all of a sudden completely ignore my child. I didn't realize this teddy bear backpack had such magical powers as to all of a sudden render me a bad parent. Did it dawn on you that I might still fully engage with my child as I always do and always will. That I would still keep my child close to me because that is always what I do. You anti-backpackers are making HUGE leaps with your assumptions. The people in that video are bad parents but that doesn't mean everyone is. I actually think it makes me a good parent to realize that my child has the capability to get away from me and I have done something to prevent that if it does occur. You really have to stop being such a drama queen with this matter. You are quite the extremist. So ladies unless you have flesh to flesh contact with your child at all times you are a bad parent! We must also ban strollers, highchairs, cribs, baby gates...anything that could possibly make our LO's feel restricted or degraded in anyway!!

[Anonymous]

My parents used a leash for me and my younger brother when they had to travel with us by air (in the airport to keep us from running off). Hasn't damaged us, and we're both very close to our parents. It's a really dumb, uninformed, and unintelligent "argument" to say that parents who use leashes are bad or don't care about their children or aren't fostering closeness or aren't teaching them proper behavior.

I think a lot of the anti-leash (really thing the word leash is just inflammatory on it's own) are really, really ignorant in their views. Now if these kids had dog collars on and were being shouted at by their parents saying "Sit Ava, Heal Ava" yeah that would be bad. Just soooooo not the case.

[Anonymous]

I actually say "stay ds, come here ds" because it's effective. my son knows when I say "stay" he is not to walk away. it may sound bad, but he knows I mean it.

We also have the eddie bauer backpacks and my kids loved having them on when we did our first big trip. they put their little toys in them. They walked next to me most of the time but I knew if I turned to one child the other wouldn't run off. Obviously the "leash" doesn't work with melt downs. When my daughter had one she flopped to the floor and I had to pick her up because I literally would have to drag her. Now, that would really make me a bad parent, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
totally agree

with parents willing to distance themselves from actively parenting their children it's not surprise that so many kids are out of control.

You've made the leap that if a mother uses a leash as a back up safety plan that they no longer actively parent their child?? You don't think you are being a bit extreme? Then I guess I could say that the parents who don't use a leash (by the way I hate using the word leash) don't care enough about their children to do everything they can to ensure their safety. That sounded stupid right? Just like mother's who care enough to make sure their kids don't run off in a crowd aren't actively parenting since they aren't making flesh on flesh contact. I guess with that kind of reasoning mother's who use strollers aren't actively parenting either. We could go on and on with that string of logic.

can you really actively parent your child when they are 5' away from you? how can you talk with them when they are facing away and heading away from you? or do you ask them to walk next to you (or hold their hand) and still have the leash on them? is that what you mean by "backup"? it's not the physical connection as much as being close together and being engaged/talking - instead of letting them run off ahead as far as they can.

kids won't end up damaged from the leash - and it's certainly better than being distracted and NOT holding their had - but it's a missed opportunity for parents to engage with their kids and teach them how to behave properly in that situation. when kids don't have the repeated opportunities to learn then I'm really not surprised that those "active" kids don't listen. sure the "safety" is there (except maybe when you are using a leash with a kid right near a cliff at Great Falls - WTF?!?!), but the connection with the kid isn't.

and yes, it's really difficult to actively parent when using some strollers - a bit easier when the kids are facing you...strollers are really about the parent's convenience, just like the leash.

my youngest is now 3 (and very independent & active!) and for as long as he has been walking on his own on outings (since maybe 18-20mo) he is expected to stay with me - and hold hands when I ask (if we're near the street, it's crowded, etc.). if he doesn't do that then he faces the consequences (go in the cart, get carried, or just leave). and we practice this every.single.time. we go somewhere - we talk about it before we get out of the car, I remind him when we get close to the street, etc. and he does have his runner moments on occasion but I catch him (I always wear comfy shoes these days!) and then follow through with consequences. but for the most part he really listens, stays with me - we talk & joke around, and he almost always holds my hand when I ask the first time. because we've practiced this. and he understands the consequences. we also spend time playing running games in safe spots (parks, etc.) - I let him run up to a certain spot (a tree) as fast as he can and then run back to me. he has learned that there are times & places for running vs. holding hands...

do what you want with your kids, leash or no leash, but most of the time when I see a parent using a leash I do think that the parents are checking out a bit on their parenting duties... And I'm sure I do things with my kids in public that other parents think are off too.

The quoted poster has a miracle child who has been walking on his own on outings from about 18-20 months. Her stroller [like a leash] is really about a parents convenience.

Perfect miniature adults physically capable of handling long treks while engaged in ongoing repartee with Mommy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
totally agree

with parents willing to distance themselves from actively parenting their children it's not surprise that so many kids are out of control.

You've made the leap that if a mother uses a leash as a back up safety plan that they no longer actively parent their child?? You don't think you are being a bit extreme? Then I guess I could say that the parents who don't use a leash (by the way I hate using the word leash) don't care enough about their children to do everything they can to ensure their safety. That sounded stupid right? Just like mother's who care enough to make sure their kids don't run off in a crowd aren't actively parenting since they aren't making flesh on flesh contact. I guess with that kind of reasoning mother's who use strollers aren't actively parenting either. We could go on and on with that string of logic.

can you really actively parent your child when they are 5' away from you? how can you talk with them when they are facing away and heading away from you? or do you ask them to walk next to you (or hold their hand) and still have the leash on them? is that what you mean by "backup"? it's not the physical connection as much as being close together and being engaged/talking - instead of letting them run off ahead as far as they can.

kids won't end up damaged from the leash - and it's certainly better than being distracted and NOT holding their had - but it's a missed opportunity for parents to engage with their kids and teach them how to behave properly in that situation. when kids don't have the repeated opportunities to learn then I'm really not surprised that those "active" kids don't listen. sure the "safety" is there (except maybe when you are using a leash with a kid right near a cliff at Great Falls - WTF?!?!), but the connection with the kid isn't.

and yes, it's really difficult to actively parent when using some strollers - a bit easier when the kids are facing you...strollers are really about the parent's convenience, just like the leash.

my youngest is now 3 (and very independent & active!) and for as long as he has been walking on his own on outings (since maybe 18-20mo) he is expected to stay with me - and hold hands when I ask (if we're near the street, it's crowded, etc.). if he doesn't do that then he faces the consequences (go in the cart, get carried, or just leave). and we practice this every.single.time. we go somewhere - we talk about it before we get out of the car, I remind him when we get close to the street, etc. and he does have his runner moments on occasion but I catch him (I always wear comfy shoes these days!) and then follow through with consequences. but for the most part he really listens, stays with me - we talk & joke around, and he almost always holds my hand when I ask the first time. because we've practiced this. and he understands the consequences. we also spend time playing running games in safe spots (parks, etc.) - I let him run up to a certain spot (a tree) as fast as he can and then run back to me. he has learned that there are times & places for running vs. holding hands...

do what you want with your kids, leash or no leash, but most of the time when I see a parent using a leash I do think that the parents are checking out a bit on their parenting duties... And I'm sure I do things with my kids in public that other parents think are off too.

The quoted poster has a miracle child who has been walking on his own on outings from about 18-20 months. Her stroller [like a leash] is really about a parents convenience.

Perfect miniature adults physically capable of handling long treks while engaged in ongoing repartee with Mommy.

Hmm, I'm not that poster, but I don't think that's what she's saying at all. She didn't somehow miraculously receive a well-behaved little child. She put a LOT of elbow grease into it.