Please stop sending sick kids to school!

[Anonymous]

OP, so sorry to hear about your experience. I went through the same when my kids were in school. People would obviously dose their kids with tylenol and pretend that they don't have a fever. Halfway between the school day, their fever and misery would rise. Poor kids. Of course, these parents would not give a damn if they were making other kids sick.

Here is the ironic part. After several days of coming to school with a cold, cough and tylenol suppressed fever, these poor children would fall really sick with a more severe illness like pneumonia because they never actually got a chance to rest and recuperate. So the quick fix of sending the kid with sniffles to school still ended up with the kids being even more sick and missing school.

As for the learning loss, the kids who are sent to school when they are sick are not really getting the care, nurturing or the academic support at home to excel at school. These kids unfortunately come from homes where the parents are checked out and overwhelmed.

To make sure that my kids did not fall ill or missed learning, I did a bunch of stuff that was very much in line with the COVID protocols. Here is what I was doing when my kids were in school -
a) Get the flu vaccine 2 weeks before school opens for the entire family. IME, kids started falling sick in Sept-Oct itself. We were looking for protection from flu from Sept- Jan. Getting the vaccine early gave us that.
b) Multi-vitamin, vitamin c - every day
c) Made sure that the kids were doing salt gargles twice a day, and scraping their tongue when brushing their teeth. My kids very rarely got a stomach bug. Their illness usually started with a cold and cough. Salt gargles were effective in flushing out germs.
d) Washing hands and never touching their face was drilled into my kids.
e) We are a no shoes indoors household. My kids also changed their school clothes as soon as they reached home to limit germs.
f) We made sure that our kids did not take the school bus and instead we dropped and picked them up ourselves. While this added to our work day, school bus are even worse than a classroom. Kids are very sick and in very close contact with each other.
g) Early intervention. If my kids showed any sign of being down with tiredness, sniffles, I kept them at home and made sure that got a lot of rest, chicken soup, home remedies (ginger, turmeric and honey tea for example), lots of salt gargle, nasal spray etc. Usually, they would be ok in a day or two.
h) Good hygine at home, having a clean house, changing tooth brushes often, being current with all well visits and vaccinations etc.
i) We made sure by sending an email to all teachers that they were aware if my kid was at home so that they could give the assignments through email and give more time to my kid to make up tests and assignments. My kids were straight A kids and they never saw their grades go down because of being ill.
j) During the summer break, we made sure that their tutors covered at least a quarter's worth of their instruction, JIC they fell sick.

Masks work. If your kids fall ill, you all need to mask at home to not get sick yourself. Get in the habit of wearing masks for regular colds and coughs like the Japanese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, so sorry to hear about your experience. I went through the same when my kids were in school. People would obviously dose their kids with tylenol and pretend that they don't have a fever. Halfway between the school day, their fever and misery would rise. Poor kids. Of course, these parents would not give a damn if they were making other kids sick.

Here is the ironic part. After several days of coming to school with a cold, cough and tylenol suppressed fever, these poor children would fall really sick with a more severe illness like pneumonia because they never actually got a chance to rest and recuperate. So the quick fix of sending the kid with sniffles to school still ended up with the kids being even more sick and missing school.

As for the learning loss, the kids who are sent to school when they are sick are not really getting the care, nurturing or the academic support at home to excel at school. These kids unfortunately come from homes where the parents are checked out and overwhelmed.

To make sure that my kids did not fall ill or missed learning, I did a bunch of stuff that was very much in line with the COVID protocols. Here is what I was doing when my kids were in school -
a) Get the flu vaccine 2 weeks before school opens for the entire family. IME, kids started falling sick in Sept-Oct itself. We were looking for protection from flu from Sept- Jan. Getting the vaccine early gave us that.
b) Multi-vitamin, vitamin c - every day
c) Made sure that the kids were doing salt gargles twice a day, and scraping their tongue when brushing their teeth. My kids very rarely got a stomach bug. Their illness usually started with a cold and cough. Salt gargles were effective in flushing out germs.
d) Washing hands and never touching their face was drilled into my kids.
e) We are a no shoes indoors household. My kids also changed their school clothes as soon as they reached home to limit germs.
f) We made sure that our kids did not take the school bus and instead we dropped and picked them up ourselves. While this added to our work day, school bus are even worse than a classroom. Kids are very sick and in very close contact with each other.
g) Early intervention. If my kids showed any sign of being down with tiredness, sniffles, I kept them at home and made sure that got a lot of rest, chicken soup, home remedies (ginger, turmeric and honey tea for example), lots of salt gargle, nasal spray etc. Usually, they would be ok in a day or two.
h) Good hygine at home, having a clean house, changing tooth brushes often, being current with all well visits and vaccinations etc.
i) We made sure by sending an email to all teachers that they were aware if my kid was at home so that they could give the assignments through email and give more time to my kid to make up tests and assignments. My kids were straight A kids and they never saw their grades go down because of being ill.
j) During the summer break, we made sure that their tutors covered at least a quarter's worth of their instruction, JIC they fell sick.

Masks work. If your kids fall ill, you all need to mask at home to not get sick yourself. Get in the habit of wearing masks for regular colds and coughs like the Japanese.

This may have happened frequently in your head. But it real life, this doesn’t happen frequently at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep my kids home for fever, vomiting, unexplained rash, diarrhea, Covid, Strep, and flu. I am not keeping my kid home for congestion or a runny nose.

If your family gets sick for 7-10 days and misses
work due to a cold or if your whole family ends up on meds for a routine illness, perhaps you should talk to your Dr. about your immune system. That’s not normal.

OP here. I agree. Why are we so sick and everyone just considers it no big deal? We definitely don’t get that sick every time but it happens and it sucks.
Of course my youngest brought home Covid too but that had mild symptoms. We were better in days. I do worry about long Covid if we catch it too often but I’m probably alone in that concern too I think.
I’m not being a martyr as someone suggested. I’m just so tired of being sick.

What I’m trying to say is that my approach is admittedly really different from other parents and perhaps I’m the one who (reluctantly) needs to change.
I’m gathering that keeping my kids home to prevent spreading it is overkill.
It clearly makes me resentful but I guess if I send my sick kids back like everyone else, the resentment will lessen.

We are getting X-rays of my son’s tonsils because he snores and gets sick way too much. I have terrible sinus issues and my husband has some minor lung damage that can cause respiratory issues when he gets sick. Colds often are pretty bad for us. I also have a parent with incurable cancer she lives with so that’s stressful. She’s been to the hospital twice from viruses she caught from us. Though we consider ourselves relatively healthy, it seems these colds are affecting us more than others - I was curious about that. Seems like overall - people just don’t care about getting sick all that much. I really didn’t know that.

Thank you to everyone for your input - it’s helpful.

It’s not that we don’t care about being sick, it’s just that we don’t fall apart when we’re operating at 70-80% instead of 100%. I think some people are just more prone to sickness than others - just like some people are more prone to dental cavities even when they have excellent dental health habits. My husband’s family gets sick super easy and I swear someone is always vomiting or on antibiotics. I have vomited twice unrelated to pregnancy in my adult life - both nasty bugs from preschool. I have been to the doctor less than 5 times since college for reasons unrelated to pregnancy or preventive checkups for flu, pinkeye, and shingles. Meanwhile I have friends who go to their Dr. 5 times a year for various complaints.

[Anonymous]

Ah yes, the annual 'your kid is making my kid sick' thread. It is a normal part of life that the rest of us has adapted to.

[Anonymous]

I just want to say that runny noses happen when the seasons change too. My nose was running last week and I absolutely wasn't sick.

[Anonymous]

Going with 24 hours symptoms improving here for stuffy/runny nose and cough. Once on the upswing and symptoms are slowing down, back in they go. Waiting until symptom free could take weeks. Even with this approach I expect to be off work plenty between now and April.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, so sorry to hear about your experience. I went through the same when my kids were in school. People would obviously dose their kids with tylenol and pretend that they don't have a fever. Halfway between the school day, their fever and misery would rise. Poor kids. Of course, these parents would not give a damn if they were making other kids sick.

Here is the ironic part. After several days of coming to school with a cold, cough and tylenol suppressed fever, these poor children would fall really sick with a more severe illness like pneumonia because they never actually got a chance to rest and recuperate. So the quick fix of sending the kid with sniffles to school still ended up with the kids being even more sick and missing school.

As for the learning loss, the kids who are sent to school when they are sick are not really getting the care, nurturing or the academic support at home to excel at school. These kids unfortunately come from homes where the parents are checked out and overwhelmed.

To make sure that my kids did not fall ill or missed learning, I did a bunch of stuff that was very much in line with the COVID protocols. Here is what I was doing when my kids were in school -
a) Get the flu vaccine 2 weeks before school opens for the entire family. IME, kids started falling sick in Sept-Oct itself. We were looking for protection from flu from Sept- Jan. Getting the vaccine early gave us that.
b) Multi-vitamin, vitamin c - every day
c) Made sure that the kids were doing salt gargles twice a day, and scraping their tongue when brushing their teeth. My kids very rarely got a stomach bug. Their illness usually started with a cold and cough. Salt gargles were effective in flushing out germs.
d) Washing hands and never touching their face was drilled into my kids.
e) We are a no shoes indoors household. My kids also changed their school clothes as soon as they reached home to limit germs.
f) We made sure that our kids did not take the school bus and instead we dropped and picked them up ourselves. While this added to our work day, school bus are even worse than a classroom. Kids are very sick and in very close contact with each other.
g) Early intervention. If my kids showed any sign of being down with tiredness, sniffles, I kept them at home and made sure that got a lot of rest, chicken soup, home remedies (ginger, turmeric and honey tea for example), lots of salt gargle, nasal spray etc. Usually, they would be ok in a day or two.
h) Good hygine at home, having a clean house, changing tooth brushes often, being current with all well visits and vaccinations etc.
i) We made sure by sending an email to all teachers that they were aware if my kid was at home so that they could give the assignments through email and give more time to my kid to make up tests and assignments. My kids were straight A kids and they never saw their grades go down because of being ill.
j) During the summer break, we made sure that their tutors covered at least a quarter's worth of their instruction, JIC they fell sick.

Masks work. If your kids fall ill, you all need to mask at home to not get sick yourself. Get in the habit of wearing masks for regular colds and coughs like the Japanese.

Bests getting your vaccines, staying up to date on well visits, and good hand hygiene, a lot of this is a ton of extra work for nothing. If it made you feel better, fine, but salt gargles and shoes off in the house are not effective for illness prevention.

[Anonymous]

^sorry, *besides, not bests

[Anonymous]

No one anywhere (in the world) keeps their kids home for a cold. That's insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one anywhere (in the world) keeps their kids home for a cold. That's insane.

I do. They need love and care if they are sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one anywhere (in the world) keeps their kids home for a cold. That's insane.

I do. They need love and care if they are sick.

Take a lesson people! This is the only mother doing it right. The rest of us suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, so sorry to hear about your experience. I went through the same when my kids were in school. People would obviously dose their kids with tylenol and pretend that they don't have a fever. Halfway between the school day, their fever and misery would rise. Poor kids. Of course, these parents would not give a damn if they were making other kids sick.

Here is the ironic part. After several days of coming to school with a cold, cough and tylenol suppressed fever, these poor children would fall really sick with a more severe illness like pneumonia because they never actually got a chance to rest and recuperate. So the quick fix of sending the kid with sniffles to school still ended up with the kids being even more sick and missing school.

As for the learning loss, the kids who are sent to school when they are sick are not really getting the care, nurturing or the academic support at home to excel at school. These kids unfortunately come from homes where the parents are checked out and overwhelmed.

To make sure that my kids did not fall ill or missed learning, I did a bunch of stuff that was very much in line with the COVID protocols. Here is what I was doing when my kids were in school -
a) Get the flu vaccine 2 weeks before school opens for the entire family. IME, kids started falling sick in Sept-Oct itself. We were looking for protection from flu from Sept- Jan. Getting the vaccine early gave us that.
b) Multi-vitamin, vitamin c - every day
c) Made sure that the kids were doing salt gargles twice a day, and scraping their tongue when brushing their teeth. My kids very rarely got a stomach bug. Their illness usually started with a cold and cough. Salt gargles were effective in flushing out germs.
d) Washing hands and never touching their face was drilled into my kids.
e) We are a no shoes indoors household. My kids also changed their school clothes as soon as they reached home to limit germs.
f) We made sure that our kids did not take the school bus and instead we dropped and picked them up ourselves. While this added to our work day, school bus are even worse than a classroom. Kids are very sick and in very close contact with each other.
g) Early intervention. If my kids showed any sign of being down with tiredness, sniffles, I kept them at home and made sure that got a lot of rest, chicken soup, home remedies (ginger, turmeric and honey tea for example), lots of salt gargle, nasal spray etc. Usually, they would be ok in a day or two.
h) Good hygine at home, having a clean house, changing tooth brushes often, being current with all well visits and vaccinations etc.
i) We made sure by sending an email to all teachers that they were aware if my kid was at home so that they could give the assignments through email and give more time to my kid to make up tests and assignments. My kids were straight A kids and they never saw their grades go down because of being ill.
j) During the summer break, we made sure that their tutors covered at least a quarter's worth of their instruction, JIC they fell sick.

Masks work. If your kids fall ill, you all need to mask at home to not get sick yourself. Get in the habit of wearing masks for regular colds and coughs like the Japanese.

Keep telling yourself all this. But none of it is true or backed in science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, missing 7-10 days for a cold isn't normal. That's a personal problem of your own and the world can't function by catering to your abnormal immune system.

OP here. I get that you aren’t a nice person but try to think about what someone is going through.
I didn’t expect anything from others I wasn’t willing to give/sacrifice myself.

Just be nice.

You're back pedaling. Your family is unusually prone to illness and you asked parents to stop sending kids to school with basic colds, seemingly without regard to the hardship this causes the average working parent. I'm not sure why you're ok with the double standard but you certainly haven't examined what anyone else is going through.

Is it not true that you'd like to change how the country functions (for example, giving everyone unlimited paid leave, unlimited WFH time, and somehow find a way to keep up with in-class learning, etc) because you and your family get sick more than the typical family? Is that what your op proposes?

I wasn't actually offended by your op, but your "poor me, just be nice to me" attitude without regard to others is self centered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep my kids home for fever, vomiting, unexplained rash, diarrhea, Covid, Strep, and flu. I am not keeping my kid home for congestion or a runny nose.

If your family gets sick for 7-10 days and misses
work due to a cold or if your whole family ends up on meds for a routine illness, perhaps you should talk to your Dr. about your immune system. That’s not normal.

OP here. I agree. Why are we so sick and everyone just considers it no big deal? We definitely don’t get that sick every time but it happens and it sucks.
Of course my youngest brought home Covid too but that had mild symptoms. We were better in days. I do worry about long Covid if we catch it too often but I’m probably alone in that concern too I think.
I’m not being a martyr as someone suggested. I’m just so tired of being sick.

What I’m trying to say is that my approach is admittedly really different from other parents and perhaps I’m the one who (reluctantly) needs to change.
I’m gathering that keeping my kids home to prevent spreading it is overkill.
It clearly makes me resentful but I guess if I send my sick kids back like everyone else, the resentment will lessen.

We are getting X-rays of my son’s tonsils because he snores and gets sick way too much. I have terrible sinus issues and my husband has some minor lung damage that can cause respiratory issues when he gets sick. Colds often are pretty bad for us. I also have a parent with incurable cancer she lives with so that’s stressful. She’s been to the hospital twice from viruses she caught from us. Though we consider ourselves relatively healthy, it seems these colds are affecting us more than others - I was curious about that. Seems like overall - people just don’t care about getting sick all that much. I really didn’t know that.

Thank you to everyone for your input - it’s helpful.

It’s not that other people don’t care about getting sick. It’s that people have to be practical. In the US, most jobs do not have enough paid leave or even the option to take much unpaid leave. And most people can’t afford to get fired from their jobs and don’t have other options for childcare so they need to send their kids to school majority of the time. It’s also because most people don’t get as sick as you and your family seem to from a routine cold. In my family when we have a cold, we do not feel great—we have congestion and we feel tireder than usual. But we’re not getting awful sinus infections or respiratory issues and we don’t have anyone we come into contact w who gets seriously ill and needs hospitalizations as a result of us having a cold. So I understand how you feel but know that most people both can’t afford to take off time from work every time someone in the family gets a mild illness and also most people don’t get as sick as your family unfortunately does.

I cannot imagine you don't have a job with paid leave. The issue is you'd rather use it for vacation or fun stuff vs. sick kids.

And, if you cared about those who have unpaid leave or minimum wage jobs, you'd keep your kids home sick so you don't infect their kids and cause them to lose time off work.

I used so much of mine during Covid - staying home sick and for exposures really ate it up. We had a little extra leave for Covid but not a lot. And hell yes, we're ready for a damn vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry people can't take time off work every time their preschooler has a runny nose. It is a luxury only for SAHPs.

I am not a stay at home parent, but my work schedule isn’t the schools problem. I had to keep my son home today because he has a cold a week after school started. Don’t be an a-hole and send an unwell child to school.

That said, many kids are probably contagious before they develop symptoms and idk what the answer is. Additionally, kids are mucusy forever with colds. How long should they really be out of school for? A day or two? It’s not like they can work remotely once they’re feeling better but still on the mend.