I am in tears--

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have more respect for decisions of a child than their adult parents?

I agree, stay in your lane. You don't get to name other people's children. Their parents do. Your lane is teaching math, reading, science, etc., unless their is suspected abuse requiring referral.

I’m guessing you’re okay with calling someone Nicholas if their name is Nick ?

Why would this be hard? If you are a teacher this should be a non-issue. Just call them the name provided on the roster.

What if the kid prefers Joe to joseph? Or nora to eleanor? Nn are not new

The student profile allows for the parent to enter the given name and then a "prefers to be called" name. Again, not hard. But the teacher doesn't get to decide and keep the nickname from the parent. And why should a teacher have nicknames for kids anyway. Is it impossible to develop rapport with a child without using a nickname?

Well, yes. If a child says his name is one thing and the teacher refuses to call him by that name, there will be no rapport between the child and teacher. And if the cause is transphobia the relationship between teacher and student will be terrible.

You know I shouts stop saying “child.” Some of these students are going to be independent adults next year and some are already 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have more respect for decisions of a child than their adult parents?

I agree, stay in your lane. You don't get to name other people's children. Their parents do. Your lane is teaching math, reading, science, etc., unless their is suspected abuse requiring referral.

I’m guessing you’re okay with calling someone Nicholas if their name is Nick ?

I'm not the OP. But if someone named Nicholas wants to be called Nick, people should call him/her/them Nick. Parents might call their child Nicholas, or Michael, or Elizabeth; but if the kid prefers to be called Nicky or Mikey or Bethie and that's what they go by, then that's what teachers should call them. Neither I, nor you, nor teachers get to choose what name a person goes by - especially based on a personal judgement of values or morality.

It's a matter of being respectful of other people, which is something teachers and parents and everyone else should agree is "correct." Unfortunately, it seems respect is not a universal value. Even if Youngkin and his ilk want to "empower parents" by requiring schools to notify them when they suspect their kid is questioning their identify or sexuality or whatever, it can be done respectfully. It is not the teacher's role to tell a child they aren't, can't, shouldn't be named "Jill" instead of "Jack." Following Youngkin and supporters' logic, shouldn't that be the parents' role? Teachers aren't supposed to interfere in such matters, right?

[Anonymous]

If you want to control how the entire world refers to your child, you need to homeschool them and be next to them 24/7. Otherwise the kid gets to have a bit of control over their own name. We birthed people, not chia pets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not a parent and have no authority to make such a decision on behalf of a child. Teach the subject you were hired to teach. You are not a therapist. You are not the child's friend. Stay in your lane.

So no more nicknames?

Np, but our school forms indicate legal name and name child prefers to go by (nickname).

I agree with pp, op, stay in your lane.

Kids often change what they prefer to go by. So why should the teacher say "Ok, I'll call you Sue instead of Susie now, Susan" but not be allowed to say "Ok, I'll call you Freda instead of Fred now, Franklin." Some parents object to their child's name being shortened to a common nickname; but the kid still calls himself that nickname among friends and outside the family and is known as that nickname (example: Mike instead of Michael). There isn't a general uprising against that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG these comments are so disappointing.

I can see why people are put off by the all caps, but this is a teacher expressing a desire to give trans students some dignity.

I know, right? The heartlessness on display here is horrifying. The very reason a trans kid would ask their teacher to call them by a different name is that the child *fears their anti-trans parents*. Teachers can show basic decency, and afford their students dignity, by addressing them as they would like to be addressed. But no, let’s throw these poor kids under the bus to empower bigoted parents.

This is the exact problem. In your mind the parents are monsters.

Teachers can encourage this ideology and walk away with no consequences.

The parents who love and know the child far more and far better than any teacher are left to deal with the aftermath of this "support".

You really think teenagers who are prone to fads (tide pods for breakfast, anyone?) and are working with not-fully-developed brains are capable of making these life changing decisions and that you know better than their parents?

Just stop. You are making things worse.

Both of you are getting spun up and freaked out by something that rarely happens and is 99% of the time handled appropriately by teachers, parents, and schools. Republicans are masters at making people care about shit like this while their roads and infrastructure crumble underneath them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys. Teachers. Hear my voice. There is a teacher shortage. Do you really think you're going to get fired for calling Danielle Danny because that's what she wants to be called? lol! Stop getting distracted by this stuff and teach.

Fired? Sued first, then "adminstrative leave" then fired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have more respect for decisions of a child than their adult parents?

I agree, stay in your lane. You don't get to name other people's children. Their parents do. Your lane is teaching math, reading, science, etc., unless their is suspected abuse requiring referral.

I’m guessing you’re okay with calling someone Nicholas if their name is Nick ?

Why would this be hard? If you are a teacher this should be a non-issue. Just call them the name provided on the roster.

What if the kid prefers Joe to joseph? Or nora to eleanor? Nn are not new

The student profile allows for the parent to enter the given name and then a "prefers to be called" name. Again, not hard. But the teacher doesn't get to decide and keep the nickname from the parent. And why should a teacher have nicknames for kids anyway. Is it impossible to develop rapport with a child without using a nickname?

Well, yes. If a child says his name is one thing and the teacher refuses to call him by that name, there will be no rapport between the child and teacher. And if the cause is transphobia the relationship between teacher and student will be terrible.

Oh well, then the teacher explains that it is not personal but school policy only allows for teachers to address students by names approved by parents in the profile. Again, how much more rapport does a teacher need with a student to effectively teach Chemistry? Keep it friendly and professional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG these comments are so disappointing.

I can see why people are put off by the all caps, but this is a teacher expressing a desire to give trans students some dignity.

I know, right? The heartlessness on display here is horrifying. The very reason a trans kid would ask their teacher to call them by a different name is that the child *fears their anti-trans parents*. Teachers can show basic decency, and afford their students dignity, by addressing them as they would like to be addressed. But no, let’s throw these poor kids under the bus to empower bigoted parents.

This is the exact problem. In your mind the parents are monsters.

Teachers can encourage this ideology and walk away with no consequences.

The parents who love and know the child far more and far better than any teacher are left to deal with the aftermath of this "support".

You really think teenagers who are prone to fads (tide pods for breakfast, anyone?) and are working with not-fully-developed brains are capable of making these life changing decisions and that you know better than their parents?

Just stop. You are making things worse.

Both of you are getting spun up and freaked out by something that rarely happens and is 99% of the time handled appropriately by teachers, parents, and schools. Republicans are masters at making people care about shit like this while their roads and infrastructure crumble underneath them.

I don't know one teenager who ate a Tide Pod and I know a lot of them. Maybe you should put down the social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys. Teachers. Hear my voice. There is a teacher shortage. Do you really think you're going to get fired for calling Danielle Danny because that's what she wants to be called? lol! Stop getting distracted by this stuff and teach.

Fired? Sued first, then "adminstrative leave" then fired.

Seriously? I doubt it. Show me proof that this has happened and I'll change my mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have more respect for decisions of a child than their adult parents?

I agree, stay in your lane. You don't get to name other people's children. Their parents do. Your lane is teaching math, reading, science, etc., unless their is suspected abuse requiring referral.

I’m guessing you’re okay with calling someone Nicholas if their name is Nick ?

Why would this be hard? If you are a teacher this should be a non-issue. Just call them the name provided on the roster.

What if the kid prefers Joe to joseph? Or nora to eleanor? Nn are not new

The student profile allows for the parent to enter the given name and then a "prefers to be called" name. Again, not hard. But the teacher doesn't get to decide and keep the nickname from the parent. And why should a teacher have nicknames for kids anyway. Is it impossible to develop rapport with a child without using a nickname?

The whole thing can be avoided by requiring everyone to call students "Mr/Mrs/Ms so-and-so's child." Unless, of course, the parent goes by a name not on their birth certificate - is that allowed? Teachers can call adults a non-birth name but not the students?

Just what kind of rapport do you think can be established when one party continues to call you by a name you don't want to be called by? That's disrespectful and being disrespectful does not foster trust, openness, or good rapport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not a parent and have no authority to make such a decision on behalf of a child. Teach the subject you were hired to teach. You are not a therapist. You are not the child's friend. Stay in your lane.

THIS.

Use the kid’s last name, it’s not your job to parent.

Just call them "Johnson?" Gotta avoid "Master" or "Missus" too! And how do you distinguish between Sally Johnson in the 2nd row and Jimmy Johnson sitting in the 3rd row?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not a parent and have no authority to make such a decision on behalf of a child. Teach the subject you were hired to teach. You are not a therapist. You are not the child's friend. Stay in your lane.

This. Whatever happened to teachers competently teaching reading/math etc? Simply do your most fundamental job!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have more respect for decisions of a child than their adult parents?

I agree, stay in your lane. You don't get to name other people's children. Their parents do. Your lane is teaching math, reading, science, etc., unless their is suspected abuse requiring referral.

I’m guessing you’re okay with calling someone Nicholas if their name is Nick ?

Why would this be hard? If you are a teacher this should be a non-issue. Just call them the name provided on the roster.

What if the kid prefers Joe to joseph? Or nora to eleanor? Nn are not new

The student profile allows for the parent to enter the given name and then a "prefers to be called" name. Again, not hard. But the teacher doesn't get to decide and keep the nickname from the parent. And why should a teacher have nicknames for kids anyway. Is it impossible to develop rapport with a child without using a nickname?

Well, yes. If a child says his name is one thing and the teacher refuses to call him by that name, there will be no rapport between the child and teacher. And if the cause is transphobia the relationship between teacher and student will be terrible.

Oh well, then the teacher explains that it is not personal but school policy only allows for teachers to address students by names approved by parents in the profile. Again, how much more rapport does a teacher need with a student to effectively teach Chemistry? Keep it friendly and professional.

Is that seriously how you think it would go down?

[jsteele]

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1082742.page